Evening Poems: Tin Man

~ Brooke F.

These bones feel hollow

The wind blows through my chest

This suit of armor is supposed to protect

But in it, it is hard to rest

The breeze whistles through my helmet

Is it in there, I wonder?

I hid it long ago,

When I had torn it asunder

Neath plates of metal

I hid it away, lest it be torn apart

But I really wonder if its there now,

A tin man, with no heart.

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Published by Brooke F.

I’m a college student who has unrealistic dreams of being a famous authoress who writes mystery novels. Either that or a goblin... haven't decided which. I live on a farm up on a hilltop where the wind likes to mess up my hair and the trees sway poetically in the wind.

5 thoughts on “Evening Poems: Tin Man”

  2. A good poem, but these lines make it seem that the tin man is looking for his heart in his helmet. Is that what you meant to say? Maybe so, but it seems a little strange to have one’s heart in one’s cranium. Maybe I just lack imagination. I guess there aren’t many other places to lose a heart in a suit of armor…

    The breeze whistles through my helmet
    Is it in there, I wonder?

    This is just my preference, but I like quatrains to have a space between them, and no space between the individual lines of the quatrain. Usually, this can be done by copying the poem into Notepad (to remove all formatting) and deleting the extra lines, and then copying and pasting back into WordPress. But this is not absolutely necessary. Keep writing!

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    1. Thanks so much for your detailed review! I totally missed that when pairing those lines together (the helmet line and the questioning line).
      I’ll definitely play around with your formatting suggestions! Again, thanks for taking the time to provide me detailed feedback!

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