Tag: mental-health

Different Kinds of Whimsy

~ Brooke F. ~ 1 Comment

Happy saturday afternoon, dear readers!

I have been thinking about whimsy again.

This is probably not surprising if you have been around here for a while. I have a tendency to take a perfectly normal concept, stare at it for long enough, and eventually turn it into some kind of personal theory.

Whimsy has been one of those concepts.

I think we have gotten very used to thinking of whimsy as an aesthetic. You know the look probably by now. Whimsy is sort of a buzz word at this point and I am have found myself treating it as such. Little bows, mushrooms, vintage toys, fairy wings, cottage gardens, colorful clothes, old books, tiny teacups, maybe a basket involved somewhere. It’s very appealing (and marketable… but we don’t have time to go down that rabbit hole right now).

And I love all of those things by the way! Nothing wrong with each of these items listed by themselves.

But I think we should start thinking that whimsy is much bigger than how something looks because that idea can treat whimsy like a product that you can buy. Which is sort of anti-whimsy in of itself?

I don’t think whimsical people necessarily dress whimsically. I don’t think you need a cottagecore bedroom or a collection of antique teacups to be whimsical. I don’t even think you need to be particularly bubbly or cheerful.

I think whimsy is more about how you relate to the world.

And because apparently I cannot leave a thought alone once I have had it, I started thinking about the different ways people experience whimsy and that little spark of oh! This is fun!

So, welcome to my extremely unofficial theory of Whimsy Sources.

What even is whimsy?

For me, whimsy is the ability to find something delightful, interesting, playful, beautiful, strange, or meaningful in the ordinary world.

It could look like deciding that your coffee shop trip is an adventure and recording it in a journal. It could be making pancakes for dinner because you can and pancakes are kind of peak. Throw some whipped cream on it for good measure while you’re at it. Sprinkles for aesthetics. Or could be deciding to watch every single Disney Fairy movie and ranking them.

None of these things are particularly revolutionary. That is kind of the point.

And I think different people arrive at that feeling through different doors.

1. Nature Whimsy

Nature whimsy comes from finding magic in the natural world.

These are the people who stop to look at a weird mushroom. They notice birds and they collect rocks. They like walking through forests, watching storms, growing plants, looking for frogs, or sitting outside without necessarily having a productive reason for doing so.

Nature whimsy is basically the realization that the world is already full of fun weird little things.

You don’t have to decorate your house like an enchanted forest. You can actually just go outside and pay attention.

There is something wonderfully whimsical about realizing that a tiny beetle has been living its entire little beetle life under the same log.

2. Nostalgic Whimsy

Nostalgic whimsy comes from remembering.

Maybe you still love the toys you played with as a kid or you watch old cartoons. Maybe you collect things that remind you of childhood. This kind of whimsy is interested in the past, especially the little things that made life feel magical when you were younger.

In fact, I think there is something really beautiful about growing up while intentionally deciding which parts of childhood you want to carry with you.

You can pay your bills and still love Strawberry Shortcake, I promise. You can become an adult without deciding that everything you loved when you were eight was embarrassing. In fact, eight year old you was onto something.

Maturing is good.

You don’t have to throw away your sense of wonder in the process.

3. Storybook Whimsy

Storybook whimsy comes from seeing life through stories.

These are the people who give meaning to little moments. They journal. They write poetry. They love fairy tales. They imagine the history of an old building. They make traditions. They give names to things.

Storybook whimsy is probably the type I relate to most naturally because I am a writer. I love making up things and adding onto the huge world in my head that I’ve had since I was 11 years old.

4. Creative Whimsy

Creative whimsy comes from making things.

This can be painting, writing, crafting, baking, sewing, decorating, building, photography, music, or any other form of creative expression. And then you make it of course! (this can be a hard step if you’re perfectionist but I encourage you to give it try! It doesn’t have to be perfect! Just make!!)

I think this is one of the most sustainable forms of whimsy because you don’t necessarily need to buy anything.

You can take scraps of paper and make a tiny collage for exmaple. Or paint something that you normally wouldn’t think to paint. You can make something simply because you thought it would be interesting or fun.

There is something very whimsical about being a person who makes things.

5. Curious Whimsy

Curious whimsy is probably the easiest one to accidentally overlook.

It is the joy of finding things out.

These are the people who wander through museums. They love antique stores. They go down Wikipedia rabbit holes. And they ask questions. They want to know what that weird object is, why a building was designed that way, what a particular bird is called, or how something works. They’re very answer oriented. They want to find out more!

Curiosity is inherently whimsical to me because the world is incredibly strange when you actually pay attention to it. There are thousands of things around us that we simply don’t notice because we have gotten used to them.

Curiosity brings back that feeling of “Wait, what is that?”

6. Playful Whimsy

Playful whimsy is about, well, playing.

Games. Costumes. Silly traditions. Themed dinners. Pillow forts. Dancing to Barbie’s Princes and the Pauper Songs. Making up ridiculous challenges with your friends. Turning a normal outing into an adventure.

This kind of whimsy asks a very simple question:

“Why not?”

It’s the realization of free will in a sense.

Why not have a themed dinner? Why not dress up? Or make up a ridiculous tradition that only your friend group understands?

There are so many things adults stop doing simply because they have decided they are too old for them. Playful whimsy says maybe you don’t have to be and you can continue to make things up just because! Because why not??

7. Domestic Whimsy

Domestic whimsy is probably the quietest kind.

It is finding magic in ordinary life at home.

Baking something. Lighting candles all over the house to make it feel special. Decorating for the seasons. Making Sunday morning feel different from Monday morning by drinking out of your “Sunday Mug”. Or something like putting flowers on the table even though nobody is coming over.

Domestic whimsy focuses on realizing that your life does not have to be extraordinary to be meaningful and eventing little routines or habits that help with that.

You can have more than one

People I don’t think people fit neatly into one category. We often get inspiration and creativity and joy for many different places. These are not personality types or anything of that nature (I try to stay away from theories that are personality types. I don’t know enough about people to “categorize” them, plus it’s very hard to do accurately.)

They are more like sources of wonder.

Someone might be heavily nostalgic and creative. Someone else might be nature-oriented and curious. Someone might be deeply domestic but also extremely playful.

You could even have a combination like:

Nature + Curious + Storybook

Someone who likes hiking, learning about plants, and imagining the history of the places they explore.

Or:

Nostalgic + Creative + Playful

Someone who loves childhood media, makes things inspired by it, and enjoys turning ordinary gatherings into themed events.

Or:

Domestic + Storybook + Nature

Someone who loves gardening, seasonal traditions, baking, journaling, and making their home feel like a little story.

Whimsy vs. Escapism

This is probably the part of the theory I care about the most because I think whimsy can sometimes get confused with escapism. I also want to add, I don’t think escapism is inherently bad either but I do feel they are seperate things. Sometimes you need to watch a comfort show after a horrible day or, if you’re like me you need to play a video game for six hours and temporarily stop thinking about your responsibilities. Escapism in these scenarios feels healthy normal and, on certain days, neccessary.

We all need rest.

But Whimsy says:

“I wonder what’s interesting about being here.”

That distinction matters to me.

Whimsy doesn’t necessarily ask you to escape reality. It asks you to look at reality differently.

A walk becomes an adventure or a rainy day becomes an excuse to read. And one of my favorites, your garden becomes a tiny ecosystem worth observing. It is important to note that You aren’t necessarily trying to create a fantasy world because your real one isn’t good enough.

You’re finding the little pieces of magic that were already there.

And I think that can be a much healthier relationship with imagination.

Instead of constantly thinking, “I wish I lived somewhere else,” you start asking, “How can I make the life I have more interesting, meaningful, beautiful, or fun?”

That doesn’t mean you should ignore problems or pretend everything is wonderful.

Sometimes your life genuinely isn’t wonderful.

But I do think there is something powerful about learning to find joy inside reality anyway.

Maybe whimsy is a skill

This is where I have landed with all of this at the end of this thought exercise if you will. I don’t think whimsy is something you either naturally have or don’t have thought someone might naturally be more “imaginative” than other poeple. But I do think it can be cultivated. You can pick up an old hobby. You can create traditions. You can read stories and you can journal. And very importantly, you can let yourself be interested in things without needing them to be productive.

And that is what I mean when I talk about being a whimsical person..

Because adulthood asks us to become responsible, practical, productive people. And those things are good by the way!But I don’t think becoming an adult requires becoming completely disenchanted with the world. Maybe we can have careers and make things just for fun.

We don’t have to choose one thing.

Side Quests I’ve been up to lately

~ Brooke F. ~ 1 Comment

Happy April afternoon, dear readers! It has been a minute since I’ve done a personal update so here we go!

Over on my tiktok, I have been posting about reframing activities in my personal life as “sidequests” and, let me tell you, this has increased my enjoyment in regards to the activities significantly. (Except for the taxes sidequest. That one will always suck. I hate it I hate it I hate it).

All that being said, I wanted to update ya’ll on a few “sidequests” I have been up to lately!

1. I watched the new Mario Galaxy Movie

    My review? It was cute and kind of chaotic. Like a Mario fever dream. I do wish they had gone a little deeper with some of their characterization, especially when you have Roslina, the absolute queen to write for but, alas, this is too much to ask for in kids’ movies these days. Don’t get me wrong, it was a fun watch, but I do think a lot of that was due to the fact that I am a Nintendo kid, and the references were NOT lost on me. Nothing crazy, it was just fun. Plus I went with friends and that always improves the viewing experience. Nothing like a bunch of adults giggling in the back row over Jack Black Bowser…

    2. I’ve started growing mushrooms in my basement

    So, for Christmas, my mother gifted me a mushroom growing kit, and I have been putting it to good use. It actually took me awhile to get started because I forgot about it on a random shelf in my laundry room (sorry mom) and it started growing OUT of the cardboard box without my permission, so I figured I had better set it up because those mushrooms were gonna grow, whether I liked it or not.

    Oyster mushrooms by the way. Quite yummy fried in a pan with butter.

    3. I’ve been making more Tiktoks lately…

    Forgive me, but I’ve been feeding the shortform content beast. Mostly, I’ve been experimenting with the many fun ways one can engage their audience with very specific opinions on dragon designs in media. TikTok has a very active and opinionated user base so, sometimes, it’s fun to tap into that. I’m having a fun time over there, what can I say. Plus it feels like a much more casual space to share things that I like or have been up to.

    4. I’ve started a war with the wasps on the porch

    I’m winning by the way.

    Spring has brought an onslaught of awful bugs, and wasps are at the top of that awful list. For some reason, my front porch is a piece of highly valued real estate in the wasp world. I took it upon myself to bring the property values down. Like way down.

    5. I’ve taken to a more intuitive approach when writing

    I do have writing goals I’d love to get to, but I’ve been a lot less likely to sit down and write on something when I don’t feel like it lately. My job has been picking up in busy-ness lately, so I have given myself permission to write a chapter or two on whatever project I feel like and not touch it for a week. This is NOT a great way to have an extensive writing output, let me make that clear. If you want to make writing progress, maybe don’t do this because I hasn’t proven productive for my many WIP’s HOWEVER I’m okay with that right now. I’m learning to be okay with Writing being a hobby and that I don’t have to set large, lofty goals with it. My goal should simply be to enjoy it, first and foremost, and in certain life phases that may look differently than in others.

    And that feels like a good note to leave on. I’ve been up to more, I’m sure if I’d sit down and think about it really hard, but I think this is a good place to leave it. If you want more details on what I’ve been up to, you can check out my aforementioned TikTok. Take care, friends! Hope you are treating yourselves kindly this spring!

    When Did Everything Become a Photoshoot?

    ~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

    Pre-warning: I am griping again

    Everything now has this pressure to be aesthetically pleasing all the time thanks to the internet.

    And listen, I get it. Trust me, ya’ll, I grew up during the golden age of Instagram. Pinterest is probably one of my MOST used apps, and yes, it is a problem sometimes.

    Romanticizing your life and making things “pretty” can be fun. It can even be motivating. Lighting a candle before you write. Making your desk space whimsical. Using the good pen. Brewing coffee in your favorite mug. I’ve even written blog posts about fun ways to romanticize your writing process, so, in a way you could say maybe I’m guilty as well.

    There is something lovely about being happy with your appearance and space.

    But, recently, I’ve come to a weird sort of realization…

    It feels like we’ve crossed from intentional beauty into constant performance.

    There’s an overemphasis on aesthetics in general. Not just in writing alone, but in life in general. (I know, I know, I sound like a harpy old lady but hear me out).

    Girls are expected to be pretty all the time. Self-growth is framed as “hot girl advice.” “Hot girls wake up at 5 a.m.” “Hot girls drink green juice.” “Hot girls don’t text first.” “Hot girls have spotless kitchens and perfect side profiles and somehow glowing skin while journaling about their boundaries.”

    Since when did personal growth become a rebranding campaign? And what is this weird obessesion with being a “hot girl who x”?

    It’s like the ultimate goal in life is to look amazing at ALL times. To have your life be this curated, aesthetically pleasing collage of neutral-toned items and sunlit corners. Your coffee has to look right. Your Bible has to be color-coded. Your gym outfit has to match. Even your healing has to be photogenic.

    It’s ridiculous.

    The internet is a highlight reel and we all know that. It captures moments in time. A split second. A perfectly framed sliver of someone’s day. We are not designed to line up and look exactly like these captured moments in time at all times. We are not still images.

    We are messy, moving, complicated beings.

    Now we are ebbing into looks over substance in every area of our lives. We spend way too long taking an aesthetically pleasing desk picture or finding the perfect angle to show off our cup of coffee beside our journal. And somewhere in that process, the coffee gets cold and the journaling becomes secondary.

    The writing — the actual writing — becomes less important than how it looks to be writing.

    And that’s where the fun starts to drain out.

    Because the substance is the point. Not the proof of it.

    There’s nothing wrong with beauty. There’s nothing wrong with liking nice things. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying an aesthetic. I am not anti-whimsy. But when aesthetics become the main goal instead of the byproduct, it begins to feel like everyone is now encapsulating the brand of being a writer. I feel like we’re losing a lot of authenticity in general. Again, I don’t want to sound like I’m grouching about everyone else, this is something I’m guilty of as well. My whole instagram page is color coordinated.

    Really, I’m just sort of ranting to the void and maybe myself. Maybe it’s time we get back to the basics.

    And if it happens to look pretty? That’s a bonus.

    Maybe it’s time to become a writing minimalist. No routine, no coffee, no pretty desk space. Just writing.

    The Winter Yuck and How to Not Rot Entirely during Winter

    ~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

    This is something I’m half writing for myself. Let me set the stage for you real quick.

    It’s January. I’m snowed in. The Holidays are done and over with, and I am more than a little antsy. My weekend has left me bored and stagnant, as I’ve been trapped at home for far too long. While some might think this would be a WONDERFUL time to catch up on the long-dead hobbies and creative endeavors that I’ve left at the wayside of life due to busy-ness, I have found this time not so…constructive nor productive. Why, you might ask? It’s simple… I’ve got a case of Winter Yuck.

    I am so so so ready for spring. It gets dark early. It’s nasty outside. When I get home from work, I just want to eat, watch tv, and hit the hay early. I am anything but motivated. Perhaps it’s the perpetually gray sky? Or perhaps it’s the inability to go outside for a refreshing walk, but regardless, the result is the same. I am doing a whole lot of nothing.

    So, I’ve written a little guide for myself to follow as spring slowly creeps ever closer. Maybe you need it too?

    First, bullet point number one….

    Don’t go to bed immediately. Try to stay up and enjoy something. This could be reading a mere 5 pages of a book or popping popcorn and watching a new movie. Just do something that you can tell your friends that you did with your evening. One redeeming thing is all it takes. Then you can go to bed.

    Bullet point number two is in regards to your writing…

    If you find yourself absolutely hollow creatively, maybe put a pause on the self-induced guilt trip, and try consuming writing instead. This still contributes to your growth as a writer. It is so so important that you read and engage with other creative voices, and it’s a little more pasisve and requires less energy than creating the work itself.

    My other tip in regards to your winter writing slump, is to do something ELSE creative. Not writing related but still creative. Writing is creativity + words. When you read, you’re still developing the WORDS part of that equation. When you’re doing another creative hobby, you’re developing the CREATIVE part. Still progress, friends. It still counts.

    Bullet point number three…

    If it’s miserable outside, try to get up and move around your house. You can do this by cleaning or taking a quick shower. Sometimes this is all it takes to get you out of hibernation mode. If not, then at least you or your house its clean. Time to go to bed,

    And Finally…

    Be easy on yourself. Winter sucks. I get it. It’s my least favorite season, too. I’m a plant at heart. I need sunshine. But spring will come again soon, just hang in there.

    It’s at the point that I’m going to insert a master list of winter-friendly creative tasks, divided into low-energy to medium-energy. Maybe give it a skim if you find yourself at a loss for what to do with your life right now. Some of these are even winter-unique so perhaps you can find a bright spot in all this gray!

    Please note, I tried to make these activities have a bit more of a whimsical spin. You can scroll Pinterest for your more generic “learn to crochet” type activities. I am by no means going to preach the benefits of scrapbooking either. Here are just some out-of-left-field but fun things you can do to try and prevent yourself from succumbing to winter-induced brain rot. Take what you want and leave what you want.

    Low-Energy (Bed, Couch, or Chair by a Window Activities)

    • Re-title your life as if it were a novel
      Write five alternative titles. Bonus points if one sounds vaguely Victorian or mildly tragic. The modern version of this is title your life like it’s a show and divide your life into “seasons”. Who would the characters be?
    • Make a “things that felt important this winter” inventory
      Include tiny things: a mug, a song you played on repeat, a phrase you overheard. This can help you try and find some creative meaning in the midst of a not-so-fun or colorful season.
    • Annotate your own memories
      Pick one small memory and write footnotes explaining what you didn’t realize at the time. Kind of like journaling but shorter and more focused.
    • Create a winter alter ego
      Give her a name, a coat, a favorite hot drink, and one quirky habit or interest.
    • Transcribe comfort
      Handwrite a poem, passage of scripture, recipe, or letter that steadies you. No analysis. Just copying as a means to meditate or collect.
    • Design a room you’ll never have
      Describe it in words only. Light, textures, where the chair sits. No Pinterest allowed.
    • Write extremely short letters you will never send
      To: the moon, your childhood bedroom, the version of you who thought 2020 was the year (oof. Sorry, girl).
    • Make a list called “Things Winter Is Good At”
      Keep it humble. Dusk. Soup. Long shadows at 4:30 pm.
    • Rename the months like an old folklore calendar
      January becomes “The Month of Locked Doors,” and so forth. You can make them cute or ominous or fantastical or something entirely different.
    • Curate a personal winter museum
      Five objects on your desk. Write one sentence about why each deserves a placard.

    Low-to-Medium Energy (Tabletop, Floor, or Soft Music Required)

    • Create a survival guide for your specific winter
      Include rules like: “No big decisions after sunset” or “Always light a candle before you shower”.
    • Make a tiny ritual out of something you already do
      Tea, skincare, feeding the cat. Give it a beginning, middle, and end. Then write it down for yourself down the road. Collect these winter rituals in a book. Maybe even ask your friends if they have some of their own?
    • Rewrite a fairytale as Southern gossip or local legend
      Not a full story—just the tone and rumor version that you’d imagine your local church-going gossips reaccounting.
    • Assemble a “cold-weather soundtrack” for a fictional character
      Or even yourself. But this can also be a character development exercise.
    • Practice intentional loitering
      Sit near a window or porch and observe one thing for a little while.
    • Write a poem that never mentions winter but is clearly about winter
      Focus on restraint. Omission is the point.
    • Create a recipe that exists only in theory
      Name it. Describe when and how it would be served. You do not have to cook it.
    • Sort your photos like an archivist
      Create albums that are separated by color, adventure, life phase, or even time of day.
    • Draft a one-page “field guide”
      Examples: Field Guide to People Who Disappear in Winter, Field Guide to Indoor Light, Field Guide to Quiet Evenings.

    Medium-Energy (Still Gentle, Still Cozy, But Upright)

    • Rearrange one small space like you’re preparing for a long stay
      A drawer, a shelf, a nightstand. Be prepared, yaknow?
    • Write a winter letter to yourself to read in spring
      I’d recommend to keep it observational, not aspirational. No goals. Just telling your future self how excited you are for sunshine to come back.
    • Create something meant to be used up by the season
      A candle plan, a soup rotation, a nightly reading list.
    • Host a solo “slow afternoon”
      One album, one warm drink, one creative task. No multitasking allowed.
    • Make a map of your hometown or neighborhood. Make it winter-specific if you’d like.
      This can be real or imagined. Perhaps you map all the hibernation spots of the fairies and goblins or maybe you make a map that shows you the best place to get a hot chocolate.

    I hope these tips have been useful to you. Hang in there, and stay alive!

    How not to be Boring

    ~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

    Let’s clear something up first and straight out of the gate. Please note that being “boring” has very little to do with how exciting your life looks online and everything to do with how engaged you are with your own existence. I am not at ALL talking about performative “interesting” that hounds us online. That, very honestly, could be a blog post of its own. This isn’t about appearances.

    You can live in a small town, work a normal job, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and still be deeply interesting and have a remarkable personal life. Conversely, you can travel constantly, attend trendy events, and still be painfully dull if you move through life on autopilot and without engaging with those experiences.

    The difference is passion (In my humble opinion at least).
    And not the loud, capital-P, quit-your-job kind that also seems to be making its rounds regularly on the internet. Capital P passion is usally used to sell you lifestyle coach or course that supposedly will fix your life. I’m talking about quiet attentiveness. Curiosity. The ability to take the mundane and tilt it just enough that it becomes intentional and…well, interesting!

    If you want to not be boring, you don’t need to overhaul your life. I think the secret lies in reframing your perspective.

    My authority to speak on this matter comes entirely from me having the audacity to write this and the fact that I KNOW I’ve been boring in certain phases of my life but interesting in others. That’s another note I guess, that is also worth mentioning here: You can become interesting if you find yourself falling into the lull of being a boring person. The vice versa can also be true. You can be interesting and then slip into monotony. Let’s not pretend these are permanent labels.

    Alright! I think that’s all the disclaimers. Let’s dive into what I think makes an interesting person interesting…

    The Core Rule: Care About Something (Preferably Many Things)

    The most boring people I’ve met all share one trait: they don’t care. They scroll and consume, and comment vaguely, but they don’t engage. No strong opinions. No enthusiasm. OR their whole personality depends on whatever is trending that month. It doesn’t go deeper than that.

    Passion is what gives life texture. You don’t have to be the best at something to love it. Nor do you have to know everything about everything. You just need to care.

    Care deeply about your morning coffee and the perfect way to fix it.
    Try to care about how your body feels when you walk, and how nice those birds are singing today, and how red that mailbox is. Care about learning one strange, specific thing really well.

    Boredom is less about what you do and more about how absent you are while doing it.

    Moving Around: Make It a Game, Not a Chore

    Movement is one of the easiest places to inject interest, because it already asks something of you physically. The trick is to stop framing it as productivity.

    Instead of:

    • “I need to go on a run.”

    Try:

    • “I won’t stop running until I’ve spotted ten blue things.”
    • “I’m walking until I notice three houses with weird door knockers.”
    • “I’m stretching while imagining I’m a medieval scribe trying not to get scoliosis.”
    • “I’m running to collect five weird rocks. I will not stop until I have collected five weird rocks.”

    Movement becomes interesting when it has a focus, not a finish line.

    You don’t need a fitness goal (though those are totally fine too!). You probably just need something to notice. Something to collect. Something slightly ridiculous. Everything doesn’t have to be a to-do list, including movement. I think, in part, this is why it was so easy to move around as a kid. I wasn’t “going for a walk to walk off my dinner”. I was going on an adventure. I was going to collect dragon eggs (which involved finding the roundest rocks in the area and then bringing them home and painting them a variety of colors). Try and tap into the whimsy.

    Mind-Building Activities: Give Your Brain Something to Chew On

    A bored mind is usually an underfed one.

    This doesn’t mean you need to be constantly “learning” in a grindset way. It means you should regularly do things that require sustained attention and mild effort.

    Examples:

    • Reading books that challenge your worldview or introduce unfamiliar ideas.
    • Listening to long-form podcasts instead of endless short clips.
    • Memorizing poetry, facts, or historical oddities for no reason other than delight.
    • Thinking deeply about one question and letting it bother you.
    • Oh! And write down what you discover. What’s the point if you don’t retain anything or can’t look back on it?

    If all your thoughts are borrowed from the internet, you will sound like the internet. And the internet is, frankly, exhausting and irksome at times. It’s also ever-changing and ever enraged. You need to ground yourself in something that isn’t in a screen.

    Life Skills: Competence Is Interesting

    There is something deeply un-boring about a person who knows how to do things. And helpful. Dear Goodness, so helpful. Your friends will thank you.

    Learn how to:

    • Cook one meal really well.
    • Sew a button.
    • Fix something small instead of replacing it.
    • Write a clear email.
    • Host people comfortably.

    Life skills ground you in the physical world. They give you stories as well as some confidence. They make you less dependent on convenience, which automatically makes you more interesting. In fact, I would go as far to say that competence is downright attractive. Curiosity about competence is even better. Don’t be a damsel in your own life, waiting for people to save you from whatever “dragon” crosses your path. While I give the internet a lot of crap, I do think it is amazing for cracking down on lame excuses to not learn how to do something.

    Hobbies: Be Bad at Something on Purpose

    You don’t need a monetizable hobby. You need a hobby that absorbs you. The internet will try to tell you that hobbies and interests are “cringe” (Not always, but I’ve seen it). Try, friend! You don’t have broadcast it. Just try the thing and feel good inside.

    • Paint badly.
    • Play guitar poorly.
    • Dance badly.
    • Garden with reckless optimism.
    • Collect something niche and inexplicable.

    Hobbies are where passion is allowed to exist without justification. They remind you that joy doesn’t need an audience. And, sometimes, eventually, if you stick with something long enough, you might even get good???

    If you can talk excitedly about something no one else cares about, congratulations. You’re not boring. You’re doing something right.

    The Necessities (Yes, These Are Non-Negotiable)

    Read

    You simply cannot be interesting if you don’t read.

    Reading gives you language and Perspective. It introduces you to thoughts you didn’t know you could have. There is not escaping its importance.

    Read fiction. Read essays. Read things that annoy you a little. Read slowly. Read often. Read magazines. Read articles. (Maybe take a break from reading tweets, though).

    Journal

    Not because it’s aesthetic and definitely not because it’s trendy. Do it because if you don’t record your life, it might disappear from your memory.

    Journaling turns experiences into a narrative. It helps you notice patterns and preserves the small, strange moments that would otherwise evaporate into a fine mist that is gone before you even realize.

    Interesting people remember their lives (or most of it anyway). Journaling helps with that.

    Get Off Your Phone (Sometimes)

    Your phone is a boredom amplifier masquerading as entertainment.

    Being constantly online flattens experience and trains your brain to be in a million places at once, but NEVER the present. Everything starts to feel the same. You stop noticing where you are because your attention is always elsewhere.

    Boredom, ironically, is often the doorway to creativity. Put the phone down long enough to let your mind wander. Something will eventually happen. A spark will replace that boredom eventually, but you have to let it happen. You’re also training your brain to be lazy and never come up with ideas on its own. This is why our first instinct when we’re bored or uncomfortable is to seek solace and direction from our devices.

    Final Thought: Pay Attention

    Not being boring is not about doing more. It’s about noticing more. Build a life you are actively paying attention to, and boredom won’t stand a chance.

    Passion is being present. That is the takeaway here, I think.

    But Idk, man. These are just my opinions. It’s your life.

    TikTok is Bad for your Writing

    ~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

    And in other news, water is wet!

    Please excuse the obvious titling. In truth, it’s not just TikTok specifically, though, that has been the newest catalyst for this problem I’m experiencing regarding social media and its relationship to the creative process. You might be wondering: what problem exactly am I referring to? What is there to be said on this topic that hasn’t already been reiterated numerous times online? Social media is distracting and, therefore, we become too distracted to create. Duh. We all know this.

    And yes, this much is true. Social media is horrible for our attention spans, but I’m going to take a break from railing against this specific issue and focus on another one that I have personally experienced this month. This is the issue of inspiration overload and the resulting creative paralysis that ensues.

    I love a good Pinterest scroll. This was my first social media of choice as a teen. I felt like it helped me get started on a project by getting my brain churning with endless inspiration. It had it all! Writing prompts, concept art, writing playlists, tips, life hacks—everything!!!

    For the most part, I walked away from my Pinterest scrolls feeling positive at this time. I’d scroll with a specific goal in mind, further develop an idea, pin a few pins (or even create a new board for this one idea), and then walk away within 10–15 minutes. Done!

    I don’t know where I went wrong… well, I have a guess, so let’s discuss.

    There came a point where my social media habits became less orderly. As an adult, school took up less time, I got on additional social media, and simultaneously, those platforms became more attention-grabbing and endless. I remember a time when you could scroll Instagram and it would eventually give you a message like, “That’s it! You’ve seen everything new that there is to see! Now go do something else!”

    It definitely no longer does this.

    You can scroll and scroll and scroll. This is true of every social media platform right now.
    “It’s for inspiration!” I’d say. After all, it was writing-related content that I was consuming. After a point, however (whether due to the nature of the content or the sheer amount of it), I found it very easy to slip into the role of consumer as opposed to creator. Ideally, you should be able to do both, but that does require a certain level of balance that feels nearly impossible to obtain. What is that magic amount of time to scroll BookTok or Pinterest concept art before the very practice itself becomes a creativity-eating monster?

    What I found was that after consuming copious amounts of writing content, I was hit with this intense feeling of creative paralysis. I recalled the gazillions of writing tips and do’s and don’ts. I recalled all that I should be doing. Show, don’t tell. Use metaphors. Don’t use metaphors. Use them sparingly. Adverbs are evil. Adjectives are evil. Passive voice is okay. Passive voice is evil. Develop your world entirely before writing. It will develop as you write, and then you have to rewrite it all. Put your character development above worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is key. And blah, blah, blah, blah.

    I can’t write and I suck. That’s the conclusion of today’s writing session.

    You see, we weren’t made to have this many voices speaking into our lives, much less our creative process.

    At some point, inspiration stops being fuel and starts being noise. And while social media loves to market itself as a wellspring of creativity, it rarely tells us when to stop drinking. Creativity, at least for me, doesn’t thrive in a crowded room full of opinions shouting over one another. It needs quiet. It needs boredom. It needs the uncomfortable stretch of sitting with an idea long enough for it to become something mine.

    So maybe the solution isn’t cutting out inspiration entirely, but treating it with a little more intention and a lot more restraint. Fewer voices. Fewer rules. More trust. Because the work doesn’t happen in the scroll. It happens when you finally close the app, sit down, and let yourself write badly, imperfectly, and freely again.

    So happy late new year! Let’s make stuff again and give it a rest. The mantra I want to embody this year is Less is more. No more drinking out of a fire hose. Let’s try to think of it more as taking a sip from a well. Slow and steady.

    Your Screentime Problem Isn’t Discipline, It’s Boredom

    ~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

    Or, at least mine is, come to find out. But before I dive into today’s blog post, I just wanted to say hi and recap my last post. I gave you readers a little life update about how I want to commit more time to writing and continue to fight this nasty habit of mine: doomscrolling instead of doing something that actually makes me feel fulfilled. I’ve made numerous posts about this little struggle, which I’m sure is becoming almost universal at this point. Who isn’t trying to lower their screen time these days? Especially when we all know there are tons of more fulfilling things to do.

    So that leads me into today’s post, which comes from a few random thoughts I had when I realized that I’d actually managed to lower my screen time lately. To a whole two hours a day! (Cue the round of applause.)

    Okay… so maybe it could still be better, but as a self-proclaimed YouTube essay addict, cut me some slack. This is better. But I began to wonder how I managed this over the past month. I’ve made a variety of attempts to lower my screen time with varying degrees of success, so it felt important to pinpoint what strategy finally worked for my life. Why exactly was I able to reduce my screen time this time around? What changed?

    The conclusion I arrived at was simple: I needed a hobby.

    In my previous blog posts, I’ve described my distant desire to reduce screentime, but I didn’t elaborate much on my strategy for doing so because I assumed it would be as simple as that. I’d decide to be on my phone less, and therefore, I would be. Alas, it doesn’t always pan out that way (hence those varying degrees of success I mentioned).

    Turns out sheer willpower is a tough thing to rely on when it comes to breaking a bad habit. You need to fill that empty space with something else. You, or at least I, need something else to occupy your time. I feel a little sheepish typing that out. The conclusion seems obvious, but it wasn’t so obvious to me at first. Certain months, I was terrible about filling my evenings after work, and lo and behold, those were the nights I was most likely to do something… screen-y.

    This last month, however, was different. I didn’t plan for it to be different. It just sort of happened. I wanted a book from the library. I wanted to spend more time writing. So I invested time in both. My focus was less on reducing screen time and more on simply doing something else. But it seems that the lack of doomscrolling was a delightful byproduct. And so, my conclusion was made: I need to stop focusing so much on not getting on my phone and instead focus on what hobby sounds fun to dive into on a random weeknight.

    This is probably obvious to everyone reading and hardly a novel discovery, but, fool that I am, I didn’t realize until recently that I need more than willpower to kick an overindulging screen habit. I need a hobby. Actually, a few of them.

    But if you happen to be in my shoes and are possibly just as dense as me, maybe this post helped you realize that you’re not a weak-willed weenie. You just need to direct your attention toward something else you enjoy. Focus less on not doing something, and more on doing something better for you.

    So here’s your gentle reminder for the week: put the phone down, pick something up, and let your hands and mind get busy with life again.

    And I think that’s all for now! Byeeee! 🙂

    October Life Update

    ~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

    I’ll probably keep making these posts until I die. Yaknow, the obligatory “I haven’t posted in X months but! I’m not dead!” posts. All that being said, wow! I haven’t posted in about 2 months, and yes! I am indeed not dead. I think ya’ll are used to this song and dance by now.

    So! What have I been up to, two or maybe even THREE of you may be wondering. In short: not writing. But before you bring out the tomatoes and fruit to throw at me (as I literally wrote a post about not procrastinating writing like three posts ago), I will say, it’s been a busy past couple of weeks. This was less of me blobbing around and doing anything but writing and more of me rushing around and doing anything but writing. Big difference.

    Okay, okay, I’ll cut to the chase. I got married.

    And gosh, it was lovely.

    (Relevant instagram post inserted above because I actually have no pictures on my computer yet).

    So yeah! It’s been busy. Making room in your house for another human is also an arduous task, especially if you find yourself a collector of a wide array of trinkets and are used to being utterly selfish with your use of space. It has been accomplished, however (if you ignore the study/office space), and we find ourselves finally lapsing into a semblance of routine that we now call normal.

    The aftermath is very real though. I am a routine person by nature. When this routine is messed with, I find myself collecting a nice little bouquet of bad habits before I try to get my crap together and shed them again. And that pretty much sums up where I’m at currently.

    Living with a lovely man, now known as my husband, and learning to share my life. I have also, as of late, found myself struggling to manage my time (namely, overusing my phone, a constant frenemy of mine), struggling to read, and struggling to eat actual meals, not just a weird variety of snacks and junk food. And then I got sick.

    I write this post sitting at home during regular business hours with a cup of mint coffee in a mug beside me (which I’m quite proud of actually, because another bad habit that has been wriggling its way into my life is my over-eagerness to spend $7 on a fancy but delicious coffee. Great treat, but not an everyday purchase.). I caught an annoying cold, which required me to call out sick for probably the rest of the week. Irksome, but I have decided to use the time to do a few dishes and reflect on my life.

    This reflecting has yielded a few conclusions: One, I need to get back on track with both my caffeine and time management. Second, I need to work on a new writing project. Now, figuring out what this creative project is, is a whole other problem of its own.

    I love thinking up writing ideas, but I think it’s an entirely separate hobby from writing them. I am overflowing with concepts and projects I would love to see brought to life, but I often find myself grasping to find the motivation and time management skills to produce something (ugh, there it is again. Time management. Ick).

    Creating an actual end product writing-wise just takes so darn long, and, possibly, linking me back to the whole time management thing, I don’t like taking that time. I often find myself spending that time making a Pinterest board for it and nothing more. This, unsurprisingly, leaves me entirely dissatisfied. And I’m tired of being dissatisfied.

    (After all, it’s been a few months since my latest poetry book release and I’m getting ANTSY)

    So! The anthem for the next month or so is to work on SOMETHING. It doesn’t matter if it’s a singular huge project or a bunch of tiny little ones. I just need to get back into the creative mindset of making something and letting it suck. And perhaps, in all this project bouncing around, I’ll find out what I want to set my eyes and attention on consistently, and that elusive next project will make itself known.

    So stick around, there’ll hopefully be more to come as I’m getting back into the swing of things. And if not, I give you permission to throw the fruit this time. Throw a few “boos” in there too if you’d like.

    How to Be More Whimsical (Without Moving to a Forest)

    ~ Brooke F. ~ 6 Comments

    Sometimes life feels like a never-ending list of emails and meal-prepping and remembering your passwords. And while that’s all very adult and responsible of us, sometimes you just want to inject a little whimsy into the day. I’m not talking wearing a tutu to work of course (unless you’re into that? Idk where you work). I mean tiny, delightful oddities that make life feel like a storybook for a second.

    So here are some specific ways to be more whimsical. Even if you’re a practical person with bills to pay and a Google Calendar that rules your life. Aright, here we gooo:

    Start carrying around one overly specific item for no clear reason.
    A vintage skeleton key. A feather quill. A deck of cards. Let people ask questions. Refuse to explain. Mystery is 30% of whimsy.

    Host a “mismatched tea moment” once a week.
    No guests needed. Just you, an oddly paired mug and saucer, maybe a cookie, maybe a journal. Bonus points if you wear a shawl like you’re some mysterious wizard woman.

    Leave secret messages for your future self.
    Tuck tiny notes into your coat pocket or inside a book you’ll eventually re-read. “You are loved. Also, buy ice cream.” It’s like time-traveling kindness.

    Assign your day a genre.
    Decide that today is a romantic comedy, or a slow-burn fantasy epic, or a chaotic detective story. Suddenly your coffee run is a plot point, and your bus ride has cinematic tension.

    Make a “soundtrack” for your day.
    Start your morning with French café jazz, switch to dramatic classical when you do emails, then blast 2000s bops while you make dinner. Be the main character in the most eccentric indie film ever made.

    Pick a word of the week and use it dramatically.
    Not a normal word. Something like “bewildered” or “henceforth.” Use it in casual conversation.

    Choose a random object as your daily talisman.
    A marble, a mini pinecone, a button. Carry it like it has secret powers.

    Add a secret ingredient to something you cook just because it feels magical.
    Nutmeg in your eggs. Rose water in your lemonade. Not because it’s gourmet, but because it feels like a potion. Say “a dash of enchantment” while doing it.

    Tell the time like you’re in a fantasy novel.
    “It is the second hour past dawn, and I have yet to answer my emails.”
    “It is nearly the witching hour—I must fetch snacks.”

    Hide something for a stranger to find.
    A doodle. A quote. A “congratulations, you found this” note under a library chair or taped to the back of a street sign. It’s low-stakes mischief. Good for the soul.

    Rename your calendar events.
    Instead of “Dentist Appointment,” call it “Royal Council with the Tooth Kingdom.” Instead of “Grocery Store,” try “Foraging Quest.” Suddenly errands are… thrilling?

    Go out dressed like a book character.
    Not full cosplay. Just a little nod. A scarf like Miss Marple. Overalls like Anne of Green Gables. Boots like a pirate.

    Hopefully these will add a bit of sparkle to your routine!

    How to Rebuild an Attention Span

    ~ Brooke F. ~ 1 Comment

    In the digital era, where the currency of our time is measured in fleeting moments and short form content and the ting! of notifications are ever present, the art of focus has become as elusive. Our attention spans have been whittled down to where we can barely settle down long enough to read a paragraph, leaving us scattered and unfulfilled as we leap from tab to tab, app to app, in a never-ending quest for the next dopamine hit. And yet, there are a few of us, who are waking up to the startling effects of a shattered attention span. Though recognizing the problem and fixing it are two totally different issues.

    I am far from perfect on this journey to rebuild my attention span. My blog is proof of that. If you’ve kept up with my posts at all, you’ve probably heard my bemoaning my constant struggle to put the phone down. I have been delighted that in the recent year, my efforts have been fruitful. I enjoy reading again. It was a bit of a trick finding the correct genre but it’s also been a consistent effort of mentally yelling at myself when I find myself doom scrolling. But now that I’ve achieved this minor victory, this seems like a good time to impart what little I feel I’ve learned in the process of rebuilding my attention span. It’s been a slow process that will continue to be a struggle in this digital age but the joy of reading cozy mysteries in the evening to wind down for bed has encouraged me to say the least.

    So, without any more stalling, here is my tips on rebuilding a scattered, tattered attention span:

    1. Rethinking your Night Time Routine

    Often what has been motivating me to move further and further away from the short-form content consuming life has been this anxious, awful feeling that I get when I finish scrolling. This feeling was by far the worst at the end of the day where I settled into bed and would find myself scrolling for…who knows what?

    I’m winding down, I’d tell myself though, I realize now, that I was winding myself up! Scrolling doesn’t relax you in the same way a book or even a comfort movie might. You still paying attention to too much. And I don’t have to remind anybody that it doesn’t take much scrolling to find some bad news that’s infiltrates your mind and messes with your faith in humanity or the world (if there was much of that left anyway?)

    This routine, like any routine, is training your brain. In this case, it’s training your brain to think and continue to think even long after you’re ready to be drifting off to sleep. Replace this habit with something entirely different. If you can’t sit through a regular schmegular book, maybe grab a magazine or a poetry book (or something less intimidating and more short). Try and read in some form. This will train your brain to focus on ONE thing and will better relax you for rest.

    2. On a Similar Note, Don’t reach for your phone first thing

    Still guilty on this front sometimes. But if you do find yourself reaching for your phone, try and replace scrolling with maybe a quick read of an article you like or a quick WORDLE. When that’s done, get up. Though, I will say, in an ideal world, one wouldn’t be reaching for their phone at all, but baby steps! I think, overall, the goal is to not start your day scrolling.

    I eventually want to personally progress towards reading a devotional or something else to start my day. Yaknow, something that doesn’t involve my phone BUT we’ll get there eventually. Just not there yet. It’s nice to have something to wake my brain up with and right now that’s a quick crossword that happens to be on my phone.

    3. Set Boundaries

    Designate certain times of the day as “sacred,” where you commit to a distraction-free zone. This could be the first hour of your morning (like what I was talking about in the above point), where you greet the day with a cup of tea and a good book, or the final hour before bed, where you bid adieu to the screens and let your brain unwind with a gentle stretch or a page-turning novel. These pockets of time, like stepping stones, will help you cross the river of distraction. Each small pocket of time is training your brain, no matter how small. It builds over time. Remember, your brain is a muscle and becomes stronger with consistency and patterns of thinking and focus.

    4. Adjust Your Mindset

    Try and pivot your brain into a mono-tasking type of mindset. In a world that glorifies multitasking, this can be almost a rebellious act of sorts. Yet, studies have consistently shown that our brains are not wired to juggle multiple tasks efficiently. Instead, we pay a heavy cognitive tax, switching between tasks with the grace of a clumsy octopus who does everything but none of it well. We forget little things. We’re hardly ever present. Our sense of time degrades. And when it comes time for us to focus on something important, it’s a constant battle to not check and see what else is happening in the world through a screen.

    Embrace the beauty of single-tasking. Choose one activity and commit to it fully, giving it your undivided attention. This could mean turning off notifications during work hours, using tools that block distracting websites, or even adopting the Pomodoro Technique, where you dedicate chunks of time to a single task followed by short breaks. As you train your brain to focus on one thing at a time, you’ll find that your productivity (likely) skyrockets and your sense of satisfaction deepens.

    One thing I found is when I’m getting ready to go somewhere, the time it takes is nearly cut in half if I’m not using my phone. But, if I’m watching a youtube video while I do my makeup or find myself watching reels while I tie my shoes, these actions take a lot longer and I am moving MUCH slower. And my attention is so scattered, I don’t even realize it till I glance at the time and shoot! Running late again!

    5. Practice being still

    Next, incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. This ancient practice has been shown to be a potent antidote to the fragmented attention that plagues our modern lives. Begin with short sessions of meditation, stillness, or deep-breathing exercises, gradually increasing the duration as you become more adept. Mindfulness is not about clearing the mind entirely but rather about becoming aware of the thoughts that flit through it like butterflies in a garden. Observe them without judgment, and gently guide your attention back to the present moment. This mental workout strengthens the muscle of focus, making it easier to resist the sirens of distraction when you need to be productive. It’s like doing push-ups for your prefrontal cortex.

    What I personally like to do is sit out on my porch at the end of a day, and just…do nothing. Sit, with my eyes shut and listen to my brain or the birds outside. It steadies me and while, I don’t do it every day, I never regret it when I take the time to do so.

    To Conclude…

    You’re probably never going to reach this fully “zen”, undistracted state. I’ve had to come to terms with this. It is simply because of the times we live in. Unless you’re interested in becoming a hermit, there is always going to be a slight tug to become distracted again. And giving in sometimes isn’t the end of the world. What I’m really after here are the patterns I’m giving into that is harming my brain in the long term. Not that random scroll I did the other day through pinterest while I was in the waiting room of a Doctor’s Office.

    The ultimate goal, at least for me, in doing all these things, is to be present. I want to remember my life and feel deeply. And if I’m bouncing from task to task and never trying anything new or focusing, how is that classified as living?

    Anyways, I don’t wanna go too deep with you guys on a random Saturday morning where you were just hunting around for some little tips on how you can better your attention span. So, I’ll see ya’ll later!