Tag: mental-health

TikTok is Bad for your Writing

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

And in other news, water is wet!

Please excuse the obvious titling. In truth, it’s not just TikTok specifically, though, that has been the newest catalyst for this problem I’m experiencing regarding social media and its relationship to the creative process. You might be wondering: what problem exactly am I referring to? What is there to be said on this topic that hasn’t already been reiterated numerous times online? Social media is distracting and, therefore, we become too distracted to create. Duh. We all know this.

And yes, this much is true. Social media is horrible for our attention spans, but I’m going to take a break from railing against this specific issue and focus on another one that I have personally experienced this month. This is the issue of inspiration overload and the resulting creative paralysis that ensues.

I love a good Pinterest scroll. This was my first social media of choice as a teen. I felt like it helped me get started on a project by getting my brain churning with endless inspiration. It had it all! Writing prompts, concept art, writing playlists, tips, life hacks—everything!!!

For the most part, I walked away from my Pinterest scrolls feeling positive at this time. I’d scroll with a specific goal in mind, further develop an idea, pin a few pins (or even create a new board for this one idea), and then walk away within 10–15 minutes. Done!

I don’t know where I went wrong… well, I have a guess, so let’s discuss.

There came a point where my social media habits became less orderly. As an adult, school took up less time, I got on additional social media, and simultaneously, those platforms became more attention-grabbing and endless. I remember a time when you could scroll Instagram and it would eventually give you a message like, “That’s it! You’ve seen everything new that there is to see! Now go do something else!”

It definitely no longer does this.

You can scroll and scroll and scroll. This is true of every social media platform right now.
“It’s for inspiration!” I’d say. After all, it was writing-related content that I was consuming. After a point, however (whether due to the nature of the content or the sheer amount of it), I found it very easy to slip into the role of consumer as opposed to creator. Ideally, you should be able to do both, but that does require a certain level of balance that feels nearly impossible to obtain. What is that magic amount of time to scroll BookTok or Pinterest concept art before the very practice itself becomes a creativity-eating monster?

What I found was that after consuming copious amounts of writing content, I was hit with this intense feeling of creative paralysis. I recalled the gazillions of writing tips and do’s and don’ts. I recalled all that I should be doing. Show, don’t tell. Use metaphors. Don’t use metaphors. Use them sparingly. Adverbs are evil. Adjectives are evil. Passive voice is okay. Passive voice is evil. Develop your world entirely before writing. It will develop as you write, and then you have to rewrite it all. Put your character development above worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is key. And blah, blah, blah, blah.

I can’t write and I suck. That’s the conclusion of today’s writing session.

You see, we weren’t made to have this many voices speaking into our lives, much less our creative process.

At some point, inspiration stops being fuel and starts being noise. And while social media loves to market itself as a wellspring of creativity, it rarely tells us when to stop drinking. Creativity, at least for me, doesn’t thrive in a crowded room full of opinions shouting over one another. It needs quiet. It needs boredom. It needs the uncomfortable stretch of sitting with an idea long enough for it to become something mine.

So maybe the solution isn’t cutting out inspiration entirely, but treating it with a little more intention and a lot more restraint. Fewer voices. Fewer rules. More trust. Because the work doesn’t happen in the scroll. It happens when you finally close the app, sit down, and let yourself write badly, imperfectly, and freely again.

So happy late new year! Let’s make stuff again and give it a rest. The mantra I want to embody this year is Less is more. No more drinking out of a fire hose. Let’s try to think of it more as taking a sip from a well. Slow and steady.

Your Screentime Problem Isn’t Discipline, It’s Boredom

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Or, at least mine is, come to find out. But before I dive into today’s blog post, I just wanted to say hi and recap my last post. I gave you readers a little life update about how I want to commit more time to writing and continue to fight this nasty habit of mine: doomscrolling instead of doing something that actually makes me feel fulfilled. I’ve made numerous posts about this little struggle, which I’m sure is becoming almost universal at this point. Who isn’t trying to lower their screen time these days? Especially when we all know there are tons of more fulfilling things to do.

So that leads me into today’s post, which comes from a few random thoughts I had when I realized that I’d actually managed to lower my screen time lately. To a whole two hours a day! (Cue the round of applause.)

Okay… so maybe it could still be better, but as a self-proclaimed YouTube essay addict, cut me some slack. This is better. But I began to wonder how I managed this over the past month. I’ve made a variety of attempts to lower my screen time with varying degrees of success, so it felt important to pinpoint what strategy finally worked for my life. Why exactly was I able to reduce my screen time this time around? What changed?

The conclusion I arrived at was simple: I needed a hobby.

In my previous blog posts, I’ve described my distant desire to reduce screentime, but I didn’t elaborate much on my strategy for doing so because I assumed it would be as simple as that. I’d decide to be on my phone less, and therefore, I would be. Alas, it doesn’t always pan out that way (hence those varying degrees of success I mentioned).

Turns out sheer willpower is a tough thing to rely on when it comes to breaking a bad habit. You need to fill that empty space with something else. You, or at least I, need something else to occupy your time. I feel a little sheepish typing that out. The conclusion seems obvious, but it wasn’t so obvious to me at first. Certain months, I was terrible about filling my evenings after work, and lo and behold, those were the nights I was most likely to do something… screen-y.

This last month, however, was different. I didn’t plan for it to be different. It just sort of happened. I wanted a book from the library. I wanted to spend more time writing. So I invested time in both. My focus was less on reducing screen time and more on simply doing something else. But it seems that the lack of doomscrolling was a delightful byproduct. And so, my conclusion was made: I need to stop focusing so much on not getting on my phone and instead focus on what hobby sounds fun to dive into on a random weeknight.

This is probably obvious to everyone reading and hardly a novel discovery, but, fool that I am, I didn’t realize until recently that I need more than willpower to kick an overindulging screen habit. I need a hobby. Actually, a few of them.

But if you happen to be in my shoes and are possibly just as dense as me, maybe this post helped you realize that you’re not a weak-willed weenie. You just need to direct your attention toward something else you enjoy. Focus less on not doing something, and more on doing something better for you.

So here’s your gentle reminder for the week: put the phone down, pick something up, and let your hands and mind get busy with life again.

And I think that’s all for now! Byeeee! 🙂

October Life Update

~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

I’ll probably keep making these posts until I die. Yaknow, the obligatory “I haven’t posted in X months but! I’m not dead!” posts. All that being said, wow! I haven’t posted in about 2 months, and yes! I am indeed not dead. I think ya’ll are used to this song and dance by now.

So! What have I been up to, two or maybe even THREE of you may be wondering. In short: not writing. But before you bring out the tomatoes and fruit to throw at me (as I literally wrote a post about not procrastinating writing like three posts ago), I will say, it’s been a busy past couple of weeks. This was less of me blobbing around and doing anything but writing and more of me rushing around and doing anything but writing. Big difference.

Okay, okay, I’ll cut to the chase. I got married.

And gosh, it was lovely.

(Relevant instagram post inserted above because I actually have no pictures on my computer yet).

So yeah! It’s been busy. Making room in your house for another human is also an arduous task, especially if you find yourself a collector of a wide array of trinkets and are used to being utterly selfish with your use of space. It has been accomplished, however (if you ignore the study/office space), and we find ourselves finally lapsing into a semblance of routine that we now call normal.

The aftermath is very real though. I am a routine person by nature. When this routine is messed with, I find myself collecting a nice little bouquet of bad habits before I try to get my crap together and shed them again. And that pretty much sums up where I’m at currently.

Living with a lovely man, now known as my husband, and learning to share my life. I have also, as of late, found myself struggling to manage my time (namely, overusing my phone, a constant frenemy of mine), struggling to read, and struggling to eat actual meals, not just a weird variety of snacks and junk food. And then I got sick.

I write this post sitting at home during regular business hours with a cup of mint coffee in a mug beside me (which I’m quite proud of actually, because another bad habit that has been wriggling its way into my life is my over-eagerness to spend $7 on a fancy but delicious coffee. Great treat, but not an everyday purchase.). I caught an annoying cold, which required me to call out sick for probably the rest of the week. Irksome, but I have decided to use the time to do a few dishes and reflect on my life.

This reflecting has yielded a few conclusions: One, I need to get back on track with both my caffeine and time management. Second, I need to work on a new writing project. Now, figuring out what this creative project is, is a whole other problem of its own.

I love thinking up writing ideas, but I think it’s an entirely separate hobby from writing them. I am overflowing with concepts and projects I would love to see brought to life, but I often find myself grasping to find the motivation and time management skills to produce something (ugh, there it is again. Time management. Ick).

Creating an actual end product writing-wise just takes so darn long, and, possibly, linking me back to the whole time management thing, I don’t like taking that time. I often find myself spending that time making a Pinterest board for it and nothing more. This, unsurprisingly, leaves me entirely dissatisfied. And I’m tired of being dissatisfied.

(After all, it’s been a few months since my latest poetry book release and I’m getting ANTSY)

So! The anthem for the next month or so is to work on SOMETHING. It doesn’t matter if it’s a singular huge project or a bunch of tiny little ones. I just need to get back into the creative mindset of making something and letting it suck. And perhaps, in all this project bouncing around, I’ll find out what I want to set my eyes and attention on consistently, and that elusive next project will make itself known.

So stick around, there’ll hopefully be more to come as I’m getting back into the swing of things. And if not, I give you permission to throw the fruit this time. Throw a few “boos” in there too if you’d like.

How to Be More Whimsical (Without Moving to a Forest)

~ Brooke F. ~ 6 Comments

Sometimes life feels like a never-ending list of emails and meal-prepping and remembering your passwords. And while that’s all very adult and responsible of us, sometimes you just want to inject a little whimsy into the day. I’m not talking wearing a tutu to work of course (unless you’re into that? Idk where you work). I mean tiny, delightful oddities that make life feel like a storybook for a second.

So here are some specific ways to be more whimsical. Even if you’re a practical person with bills to pay and a Google Calendar that rules your life. Aright, here we gooo:

Start carrying around one overly specific item for no clear reason.
A vintage skeleton key. A feather quill. A deck of cards. Let people ask questions. Refuse to explain. Mystery is 30% of whimsy.

Host a “mismatched tea moment” once a week.
No guests needed. Just you, an oddly paired mug and saucer, maybe a cookie, maybe a journal. Bonus points if you wear a shawl like you’re some mysterious wizard woman.

Leave secret messages for your future self.
Tuck tiny notes into your coat pocket or inside a book you’ll eventually re-read. “You are loved. Also, buy ice cream.” It’s like time-traveling kindness.

Assign your day a genre.
Decide that today is a romantic comedy, or a slow-burn fantasy epic, or a chaotic detective story. Suddenly your coffee run is a plot point, and your bus ride has cinematic tension.

Make a “soundtrack” for your day.
Start your morning with French café jazz, switch to dramatic classical when you do emails, then blast 2000s bops while you make dinner. Be the main character in the most eccentric indie film ever made.

Pick a word of the week and use it dramatically.
Not a normal word. Something like “bewildered” or “henceforth.” Use it in casual conversation.

Choose a random object as your daily talisman.
A marble, a mini pinecone, a button. Carry it like it has secret powers.

Add a secret ingredient to something you cook just because it feels magical.
Nutmeg in your eggs. Rose water in your lemonade. Not because it’s gourmet, but because it feels like a potion. Say “a dash of enchantment” while doing it.

Tell the time like you’re in a fantasy novel.
“It is the second hour past dawn, and I have yet to answer my emails.”
“It is nearly the witching hour—I must fetch snacks.”

Hide something for a stranger to find.
A doodle. A quote. A “congratulations, you found this” note under a library chair or taped to the back of a street sign. It’s low-stakes mischief. Good for the soul.

Rename your calendar events.
Instead of “Dentist Appointment,” call it “Royal Council with the Tooth Kingdom.” Instead of “Grocery Store,” try “Foraging Quest.” Suddenly errands are… thrilling?

Go out dressed like a book character.
Not full cosplay. Just a little nod. A scarf like Miss Marple. Overalls like Anne of Green Gables. Boots like a pirate.

Hopefully these will add a bit of sparkle to your routine!

How to Rebuild an Attention Span

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

In the digital era, where the currency of our time is measured in fleeting moments and short form content and the ting! of notifications are ever present, the art of focus has become as elusive. Our attention spans have been whittled down to where we can barely settle down long enough to read a paragraph, leaving us scattered and unfulfilled as we leap from tab to tab, app to app, in a never-ending quest for the next dopamine hit. And yet, there are a few of us, who are waking up to the startling effects of a shattered attention span. Though recognizing the problem and fixing it are two totally different issues.

I am far from perfect on this journey to rebuild my attention span. My blog is proof of that. If you’ve kept up with my posts at all, you’ve probably heard my bemoaning my constant struggle to put the phone down. I have been delighted that in the recent year, my efforts have been fruitful. I enjoy reading again. It was a bit of a trick finding the correct genre but it’s also been a consistent effort of mentally yelling at myself when I find myself doom scrolling. But now that I’ve achieved this minor victory, this seems like a good time to impart what little I feel I’ve learned in the process of rebuilding my attention span. It’s been a slow process that will continue to be a struggle in this digital age but the joy of reading cozy mysteries in the evening to wind down for bed has encouraged me to say the least.

So, without any more stalling, here is my tips on rebuilding a scattered, tattered attention span:

1. Rethinking your Night Time Routine

Often what has been motivating me to move further and further away from the short-form content consuming life has been this anxious, awful feeling that I get when I finish scrolling. This feeling was by far the worst at the end of the day where I settled into bed and would find myself scrolling for…who knows what?

I’m winding down, I’d tell myself though, I realize now, that I was winding myself up! Scrolling doesn’t relax you in the same way a book or even a comfort movie might. You still paying attention to too much. And I don’t have to remind anybody that it doesn’t take much scrolling to find some bad news that’s infiltrates your mind and messes with your faith in humanity or the world (if there was much of that left anyway?)

This routine, like any routine, is training your brain. In this case, it’s training your brain to think and continue to think even long after you’re ready to be drifting off to sleep. Replace this habit with something entirely different. If you can’t sit through a regular schmegular book, maybe grab a magazine or a poetry book (or something less intimidating and more short). Try and read in some form. This will train your brain to focus on ONE thing and will better relax you for rest.

2. On a Similar Note, Don’t reach for your phone first thing

Still guilty on this front sometimes. But if you do find yourself reaching for your phone, try and replace scrolling with maybe a quick read of an article you like or a quick WORDLE. When that’s done, get up. Though, I will say, in an ideal world, one wouldn’t be reaching for their phone at all, but baby steps! I think, overall, the goal is to not start your day scrolling.

I eventually want to personally progress towards reading a devotional or something else to start my day. Yaknow, something that doesn’t involve my phone BUT we’ll get there eventually. Just not there yet. It’s nice to have something to wake my brain up with and right now that’s a quick crossword that happens to be on my phone.

3. Set Boundaries

Designate certain times of the day as “sacred,” where you commit to a distraction-free zone. This could be the first hour of your morning (like what I was talking about in the above point), where you greet the day with a cup of tea and a good book, or the final hour before bed, where you bid adieu to the screens and let your brain unwind with a gentle stretch or a page-turning novel. These pockets of time, like stepping stones, will help you cross the river of distraction. Each small pocket of time is training your brain, no matter how small. It builds over time. Remember, your brain is a muscle and becomes stronger with consistency and patterns of thinking and focus.

4. Adjust Your Mindset

Try and pivot your brain into a mono-tasking type of mindset. In a world that glorifies multitasking, this can be almost a rebellious act of sorts. Yet, studies have consistently shown that our brains are not wired to juggle multiple tasks efficiently. Instead, we pay a heavy cognitive tax, switching between tasks with the grace of a clumsy octopus who does everything but none of it well. We forget little things. We’re hardly ever present. Our sense of time degrades. And when it comes time for us to focus on something important, it’s a constant battle to not check and see what else is happening in the world through a screen.

Embrace the beauty of single-tasking. Choose one activity and commit to it fully, giving it your undivided attention. This could mean turning off notifications during work hours, using tools that block distracting websites, or even adopting the Pomodoro Technique, where you dedicate chunks of time to a single task followed by short breaks. As you train your brain to focus on one thing at a time, you’ll find that your productivity (likely) skyrockets and your sense of satisfaction deepens.

One thing I found is when I’m getting ready to go somewhere, the time it takes is nearly cut in half if I’m not using my phone. But, if I’m watching a youtube video while I do my makeup or find myself watching reels while I tie my shoes, these actions take a lot longer and I am moving MUCH slower. And my attention is so scattered, I don’t even realize it till I glance at the time and shoot! Running late again!

5. Practice being still

Next, incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. This ancient practice has been shown to be a potent antidote to the fragmented attention that plagues our modern lives. Begin with short sessions of meditation, stillness, or deep-breathing exercises, gradually increasing the duration as you become more adept. Mindfulness is not about clearing the mind entirely but rather about becoming aware of the thoughts that flit through it like butterflies in a garden. Observe them without judgment, and gently guide your attention back to the present moment. This mental workout strengthens the muscle of focus, making it easier to resist the sirens of distraction when you need to be productive. It’s like doing push-ups for your prefrontal cortex.

What I personally like to do is sit out on my porch at the end of a day, and just…do nothing. Sit, with my eyes shut and listen to my brain or the birds outside. It steadies me and while, I don’t do it every day, I never regret it when I take the time to do so.

To Conclude…

You’re probably never going to reach this fully “zen”, undistracted state. I’ve had to come to terms with this. It is simply because of the times we live in. Unless you’re interested in becoming a hermit, there is always going to be a slight tug to become distracted again. And giving in sometimes isn’t the end of the world. What I’m really after here are the patterns I’m giving into that is harming my brain in the long term. Not that random scroll I did the other day through pinterest while I was in the waiting room of a Doctor’s Office.

The ultimate goal, at least for me, in doing all these things, is to be present. I want to remember my life and feel deeply. And if I’m bouncing from task to task and never trying anything new or focusing, how is that classified as living?

Anyways, I don’t wanna go too deep with you guys on a random Saturday morning where you were just hunting around for some little tips on how you can better your attention span. So, I’ll see ya’ll later!

A Vibe Check for Spring: What’s In & What’s Out (According to Me, for No Real Reason)

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Look, I’m not saying I’m a trend forecaster or anything, but I am saying I have a lot of feelings about things right now. Spring has me in a refresh-and-renew mood. Think open windows, iced drinks, and a chaotic urge to either completely change my life or do absolutely nothing. There’s no in-between. I live in a world of extremes…

So here it is: a completely arbitrary and highly personal list of what I’m loving lately and what I’m politely (or not so politely) retiring. No real logic. Just vibes.

🌸 What’s IN (aka bringing me unreasonable joy lately)

  • Cream soda – I don’t know why this tastes like childhood nostalgia and magic at the same time, but it does. Bonus points if it’s pink.
  • Cute coffee shops – I’m talking mismatched mugs, plants in every corner, and baristas who remember your name. We’re romanticizing our lives this year.
  • Taking walks everywhere – Walking as a personality trait? Absolutely yes. Give me sunshine, a good playlist, and no real destination.
  • Impressionistic art – Big yes to blurry florals and soft, moody landscapes. If it looks like a daydream, I’m into it.
  • Gas station snacks – High-end cuisine? No thanks. Give me peach rings and a questionable corn dog.
  • Retro games – N64, pixelated chaos, that clunky PS1 startup sound. Inject that straight into my bloodstream please.
  • Pasta – Any kind. All kinds. Pasta is self-care now.
  • Formal gowns for no reason – Go ahead, wear that dramatic dress to buy toilet paper. I support you.
  • Saying “no” to protect your mental space – Revolutionary, honestly. I feel like I have to remind myself to do this at some point every year. Gotta keep that FOMO in check.
  • Giving people the benefit of the doubt – Life’s weird for everyone. Let’s chillout for a second and maybe stop making character assessments of everyone on the interstate just because they didn’t use a turn signal once. Draining honestly and yet I indulge.
  • Microwave popcorn – The perfect snack for every situation. Salty, satisfying, and takes two minutes. Iconic.
  • Herb gardens – Even if it’s just one sad basil plant on a windowsill. We’re farming now.
  • Petting as many cats as possible – If there’s a cat, I’m stopping. Priorities.
  • Body spray – Strong 2006 mall energy.
  • Changing your bedding regularly – Like hitting a mental reset button. Plus clean smelling sheets are *chef’s kiss*,

🧼 What’s OUT (aka, I’m over it)

  • Buying ingredients but never cooking – If I have to throw out one more wilted bunch of cilantro…
  • Cheap soap – We are grown. Our hands deserve better.
  • Grudges – Too heavy to carry. Let it go, Elsa-style.
  • Cruddy socks that need to be replaced – Why do I still have socks with holes in them?? And why does it feel illegal to just throw them away?????
  • Plain coffee – I want cinnamon. I want foamed milk. I want joy.
  • Falling asleep to your phone/TV – No more scrolling into the void. Let’s reclaim bedtime.
  • Minimalism – Bring back cluttercore. Give me trinkets. Give me personality.
  • 6am alarms – Unless it’s for something exciting or airport-related, no thank you.
  • Self guilt – You don’t have to earn rest or joy or snacks. Be nice to yourself.
  • Hanging in groups that make you feel bad – Nope. Friendship should feel like sunshine, not stomach knots.
  • Not complimenting people but still thinking it – Just say it! Give strangers their flowers!
  • The color grey – It’s giving “dentist office.” Let’s inject some color into our lives.
  • Monochrome stuff – Matchy-matchy is out. Chaos layering is in.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at right now. Spring is the time to throw open the windows, eat snacks that make no sense, and maybe (just maybe) give yourself a break.

Tell me what’s on your in-and-out list. I love knowing what little things are making people happy lately.

🌼✨

I Tried As Many Hobbies as I could In A Week

~ Brooke F. ~ 7 Comments

Growing up, I had so many hobbies I enjoyed. I loved drawing. I loved painting. I loved writing. I rode horses. Did gymnastics. Was briefly on an archery team?? I had so much time and energy—it felt like nothing could stop me. Now, I’m older, with significantly less time on my hands, and what little time I do have is not always spent… wisely.

It’s my phone. The eternal black hole of productivity. On and off, I try to counter this issue, but it’s way too easy to fall back into the habit. It sneaks up on me. One minute, I’m checking one little thing, and the next, I’m horrified by my weekly screen usage report, which is somehow two hours higher than it should be. My goal? Keep my phone use under an hour a day. My reality? A solid three. That adds up to a whopping 1,095 hours a year. That’s 45 entire days.

Wild.

So, in an attempt to reclaim my life from the digital abyss, I decided to try as many hobbies as possible in one week and see how they stack up. My criteria?

  1. How well does it keep me off my phone?
  2. How much do I enjoy it?
  3. Is it something I’d realistically keep doing?

Here’s how it went:

Day 1: Guitar – 5/5

Super easy to pick up. I took lessons for years but stopped when I moved out. I still strum occasionally, but life (aka school and work) got in the way. Now that I have a stable schedule, it’s actually feasible to play again, and I should. It was cathartic pulling out my old music, even if my skills have gotten a little rusty. The only time I reached for my phone was to look up song tabs. A win.

Day 2: Baking – 3/5

I made brownies and a strawberry cake. Baking is a high risk, high reward type of cooking. When you nail it, you feel like a domestic goddess. When you don’t, you’re left with wasted ingredients and existential despair. Also, those 30-minute baking times? Very tempting for a little doomscrolling.

Day 3: Drawing – 4/5

I love making stuff, but I have to be in the mood for drawing. At first, I wasn’t feeling it, but once I got started, I enjoyed it. The tangible result is satisfying, but my inner perfectionist is a menace. Still, solid phone-free time.

Yoga – 5/5

So relaxing. Felt great afterward. No desire to check my phone because I was literally too busy being zen.

Day 4: Running – 4/5

I felt amazing afterward, but actually convincing myself to start? Struggle city. Also, my cardio is tragic. I sounded like a winded cow. But I can see this being rewarding long-term.

Fashion Design – 4/5

A throwback hobby. Very fun and creative, but I didn’t love it as much as I used to. Also, I wish I didn’t despise sewing because that would make this hobby a lot more functional.

Day 5: Journaling – 4/5

I like journaling, but sometimes my brain is just ??? when trying to figure out what to write. Pinterest prompts were a lifesaver. Also, my handwriting is an atrocity, but I powered through.

Graphic Design – 5/5

Worked on page designs for my poetry book and loved it. Canva supremacy. Zero distractions.

Day 6: Reading – 3/5

My attention span is fried, friends. I struggled so hard to focus on what I was reading for longer than 15 minutes. This isn’t the book’s fault. I just need to rewire my brain to focus again.

Crossword Puzzles – 3/5

Fun! Until my brain taps out and I stare at a half-finished puzzle, contemplating my life choices. A clear sign I need more mental workouts.

Day 7: Junk Journaling – 5/5

A top-tier hobby. Relaxing, creative, and sentimental. I collected bits and pieces throughout the week, making it feel like a little time capsule. Highly recommend—but invest in quality glue, or you’ll have regrets.

And there you have it! A week of hobbies, a slight reduction in screen time, and a few activities I might actually stick with. If you’re looking for a way to break free from the phone trap, I highly suggest giving this a go!

New Year’s Mantras for a New Season

~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

Every year, I’ve set goals, made resolutions, and tried to will myself into change. I will add that sometimes it works! (And sometimes it doesn’t.) But this year I wanna do something a tad bit different. Instead of adding more to-do lists and lofty goals, I am instead going to (attempt to) ground myself with a few simple mantras: words I can carry with me into this next chapter of my life.

1. Learn, Learn, Learn

I started my career as an environmental scientist this year, and let me tell you, it’s a humbling experience to realize how much I don’t know. There’s training to complete, processes to understand, and a whole world of knowledge to absorb. But instead of letting the learning curve overwhelm me, I’m going to try and embrace it.

“Learn, learn, learn” isn’t just about my job too. It’s also about staying curious in everything. It’s about asking questions, making mistakes, and knowing that growth doesn’t happen overnight. Additionally, I want it to serve as a gentle reminder that I don’t have to be perfect. The learning process involves failure and it is impossible to skate around. While this concept hurts my perfectionistic, failure-fearing soul, it is something I simply need to continue to work towards getting past.

2. Do the Thing

This one’s for my poetry and my perfectionism. For too long, I’ve held back. (Camera cut to me editing endlessly, second-guessing myself, and letting fear keep me from sharing my writing). But this year, I’m done waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect version of anything.

“Do the thing” is about action. It’s hitting “publish” on that blog post. It’s sharing a poem without worrying how it will be received. It’s letting creativity flow without overthinking it. Fear might still be there, but this year, it doesn’t get to win.

3. Enjoy the Life Phase

If there’s one habit I know I have, it’s looking forward into the future. I do this in every possible way. I look to the next step, the next milestone, and the next season of life. I’ve always been someone with one eye on the future, dreaming of what’s to come. But in doing so, I often miss what’s right in front of me.

“Enjoy the life phase” is my reminder to slow down. To appreciate the small joys of where I am: my new job, my cozy home, my two cats (who are as chaotic as ever). I don’t want to rush this time just because it feels like a stepping stone to something bigger. I want to look back and remember how full and good this season was—even with its growing pains.

4. Show Up for Yourself

This is a mantra I’m adding to the list because I think we all need it. “Show up for yourself” means being your own cheerleader when things get hard. It’s about taking care of your mind, your body, and your heart. Showing up looks different every day. Some days it might mean eating a real lunch instead of chips from the pantry, going for a walk, or saying no to something you don’t have energy for. Whatever it is, it’s a promise to treat yourself like someone worth showing up for.

5. Let Life Be Messy

I’m someone who loves a plan. I like knowing what comes next, how it’ll happen, and where it’s all leading. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life rarely fits neatly into plans.

“Let life be messy” is permission to let things unfold as they will. It’s accepting that some days will be chaotic, some dreams will take longer, and some journeys will twist and turn in unexpected ways (and, again, that’s okay!). The messy parts are often where the magic happens, right?

These mantras are my anchors for the year ahead. They’re reminders to take things one step at a time, to be brave, to be present, and to let life happen as it comes.

If you’re feeling inspired, I’d love to hear what mantras you’re carrying into the new year. What words or phrases will guide you through this next season? Share them in the comments!

xoxo,

Brooke F.

The Over-acceptance of Introversion: When to Know When You’re Just Being a Bad Friend

~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

This post is a little different from my usual topics. It’s not some big epiphany, just a thought that’s been bouncing around in my head for a while. As someone who enjoys overthinking (a core introvert trait, we all know it), I couldn’t shake this idea. So, here we are. Let’s talk about introversion, friendships, and whether some behaviors we attribute to being “introverted” are actually… kind of selfish.

This train of thought started when I stumbled across one of those relatable memes. Yaknow the type. Something that went along the lines of : “I don’t want to go, but I do want to be invited. Lol, introverts, am I right?” At first, I chuckled, because I could relate. But then I started reflecting on what it’s really saying. Is this just a funny nod to introverted tendencies, or does it normalize putting minimal effort into our friendships? Cue the over thinking due to a relatively harmless online post.

The more I thought about it, the more it reminded me of a situation from my late high school and early college years. Back then, my close friend and I loved organizing activities for our friend group. Bowling nights, game days, holiday parties—you name it, we planned it. We weren’t just trying to have fun; we genuinely enjoyed bringing everyone together.

But more often than not, it ended up being just the two of us. Our friends, though kind and fun in their own right, rarely showed up. The reasons varied. Some excuses were totally valid—homework, work shifts, family obligations. But over time, it became clear that many simply didn’t prioritize showing up. A few even admitted they “liked being invited” but never had any intention of coming.

At the time, it was frustrating. We’d put in all this effort, only to feel like the rest of the group didn’t care enough to reciprocate. It stung, but life moved on, and so did we. Now, years removed from those memories, I look back without resentment. Those friends weren’t bad people—they were just young, busy, and maybe a little unaware of how their actions came across.

Still, that experience planted a seed in my mind only to be watered by a random Instagram post on a random Tuesday. The memes and “relatable” posts about introverts avoiding plans or ghosting their friends in the name of self-care make me pause. Are we glorifying a healthy need for recharge time, or are we excusing bad friendship behaviors?

Here’s the thing: self-care is important. Recharge time is vital. Life gets busy and overwhelming, and sometimes, skipping plans is the right choice for your mental health. But if every plan becomes your recharge time, you’re not just protecting your peace—you’re neglecting your friendships.

Good friendships require effort. Showing up matters. And showing up only when the whim strikes you? That doesn’t make you a good friend. Sure, you have the right to set boundaries. But if you consistently flake, cancel, or avoid participating, maybe it’s time to reassess what you can realistically give to your friendships. I maybe it’s significantly less than it once was?

If that’s the case, the kinder thing to do is to be honest with yourself—and with your friends. Let them know if your capacity to maintain the friendship has changed. It’s far better than leading someone on to believe you want to stay close, only to repeatedly let them down when it comes time to show up.

Here’s the plot twist (that almost everyone knows): I am an introvert. A big one. I thrive on alone time, I love my cozy evenings at home, and I sometimes dread leaving my bubble. I’ve canceled more plans than I care to admit. But I’ve also been on the other side of this equation—the one doing the planning, hoping people will show up. And that’s given me a deep appreciation for the balance between respecting my own needs and respecting my relationships.

It’s not about guilt-tripping yourself into saying yes to every invite or sacrificing your mental health for others. It’s about being intentional. Being an introvert doesn’t give us a free pass to neglect the people who care about us. If anything, it challenges us to communicate better, show up when it counts, and be honest about what we can give.

So, the next time you’re tempted to laugh off a missed gathering with, “Lol, introverts, am I right?” take a moment to think about what that really means. Are you protecting your peace, or are you unintentionally letting your friends down? Because the truth is, being an introvert doesn’t mean we don’t care about our friendships. It just means we have to work a little harder to show it.

Hopefully you found this post useful in some way. I suppose in some ways, it could be considered a little mini-rant. More than anything, I think it’s a reflection and I hope it makes you reflect too, whether you’re an introvert like me or a big planner who relates to the feelings of disappointment when no one shows. Just know you’re not alone!

Take care, friends, and thanks for reading!