The “Don’t Save the Sticker” Theory: There’ll never be a perfect time for anything

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

This concept is not novel, but I was thinking about it in specific terms the other day. When you were a kid, did you have save stickers to wait for the perfect time and perfect surface to use them on? But, surprise, surprise, that perfect moment never came? Circumstances were never quite right enough.

I logically know that life is imperfect by nature and most things are hard to begin but the seriousness of decision paralysis hit me in a special way when I considered this childhood lens. Those stickers I hoarded? I have no CLUE where they are now. The window for using them ended at some point, unbeknownst to me. A theory very similar to this one that I’ve dubbed the “don’t save the sticker” theory (so official sounding, I’m really breaking new ground over here) is the Fig Tree analogy. The idea is that in life, you are presented with a branch of figs which represent opportunities. These figs tend to serve as a metaphor for different careers and life paths one could pursue BUT you only have so much time to choose your figs as they will eventually rot. You have to choose one or you essentially choose none.

This theory is a bit hyper-focused in career paths and “roles” one could play in life so, to a degree, I disagree with it. I think you can be a successful artist who is also a horse-back rider. An accountant can go home and write novels. We are limited by time, yes, but I don’t think it’s quite so dire that we can only choose one singular fig. I think we can be many things in life and it’s never too late to try pivoting.

That’s why I like the concept of the “Don’t save the sticker”. It really emphasizes simply taking what opportunities you can, even if they’re not what you perceive as “perfect” circumstances. This is theory is in line with the saying of “do it tired” or “do it scared”. Just do it. (Oh look, I’m Nike now).

I think the real tragedy of saving the sticker isn’t that we might use it “wrong,” but that we quietly accept inaction as neutrality when it’s actually a choice. Not choosing is still choosing. I have to remember that not making a decision is often me choosing comfort, familiarity, or the illusion that I’ll be more ready later. And later is SUCH a slippery concept. It feels infinite right up until it isn’t.

Maybe the goal isn’t to use every sticker wisely, but to use them at all. To slap them onto notebooks that get scuffed, water bottles that eventually crack, or moments that aren’t Instagram-worthy but are real and lived-in. A sticker on a scratched surface still did its job: it existed.

I don’t want a life where everything stays pristine because I was too afraid to commit. Let things be temporary, flawed, and unfinished if that’s the cost of letting them exist at all.

After all, unused stickers don’t become more valuable with time. They just disappear.

That time I started writing a Self-Help Book

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Did you guys know that I started a self-help book at one point in time? It sounds goofy, but it was on a topic I had become passionate about as it personally affected me. This, of course, as this title suggests, was the art of living alone. Guys, when I tell you I struggled…

I grew up a fairly introverted person (at least I thought anyways). I liked playing alone. I didn’t have tons of friends in middle school, which generally didn’t bother me too much. I liked having my own space and keeping it nice and neat. I thought moving out would be a cinch.

After a brief stint with a roommate, I was living alone. Which was amazing! Until it wasn’t. And then I started writing this book and got 5 chapters in before abandoning it. I was actually revisiting it recently as I was cleaning some files off my computer and started rereading. While there are already some edits I think I would make (gosh, I was melodramatic at this time), I did enjoy the trip back in time especialy now that I’m married and definitely NOT living alone. So I thought I’d share the first chapter with you here. Let me know what you guys think and if I should bother resurrecting this long-dead project! So here we have it! Chapter one of…

How to not go Crazy (And other notes on living alone)

Introduction

The windchime outside my window is a reminder that there’s a world beyond these four walls, but some days, it’s hard to remember that I’m part of it. Inside my apartment, the air hangs heavy with the kind of silence that amplifies every creak, every hum, and every thought with nowhere else to go. The fridge drones away in the kitchen. The coffee machine sighs and grumbles like a mechanical beast awakening from slumber as my coffee drips into the mug. This is my life as a woman in her 20s, living alone.

In my newly found sanctuary, I find myself night after night, wrestling with thoughts that only seem to show their ugly face when the house is still. They whisper about the coming future, taunting me with the “what ifs” that I am far too familiar with. The apartment that is filled with the laughter of friends and family during the day sighs with the weight of my loneliness when everyone eventually parts ways.

It was on one of these nights that I started a list. I can see it clearly: me, lying in bed, the phone’s glow illuminating the darkened room, fingers poised over the keyboard. The title was simple and direct. I just want to be good at being Alone. It was a declaration of intent, a manifesto, a silent shout into the void that was my apartment. I’d uttered it out loud many times, often to myself, sometimes to close friends, my mother, and my sisters. Truth be told, they’re probably tired of hearing it. I feared that if I didn’t get better at this, they’d stop asking me how I was.

But they didn’t, and they haven’t. They still care. They still ask. They still listen. It’s a testament to the most important lesson I’ve learned in my solitary living: I am alone, but I am also not alone. Nights may be long, but, as corny as it sounds, morning always comes.

Chapter 1: Learn to Cook for One

I began jotting.

Learn to Cook. Have a Crock Pot. Collect Recipes.

Then underneath:

This is not only a practical skill to learn but a point I want to prove. People often equate companionship with a shared meal. I just want to show myself that I can be satisfied. I want to show myself that I can take care of her.

Cooking for one is an art form. It is one that requires patience, foresight and even a bit of creativity. It’s about finding joy in those little victories. The comforting warmth of a meal prepared with care as well as the knowledge that you’ve provided for yourself. It’s not just about feeding your body; it’s also about feeding your soul. It’s about telling oneself that you deserve to invest time into your meals even if they’re just for you and you alone.

In the beginning, it was hard. I found myself standing in the grocery store, staring at the aisles of food that seemed designed for families or couples. Bulk packaging, family-sized portions were my biggest opposition at first. Nothing seemed to fit my life. But I quickly realized that cooking for one is about more than just cutting recipes in half. It’s about learning to see the kitchen as a place of possibility rather than yet another area of life that highlights my loneliness.

The first dish I mastered was a simple one—beef stew. There is something deeply comforting about a bowl of homemade stew, especially on those days when the world feels too big and scary. I made it in my trusty crock pot, the slow cooker that has become my closest ally in this solo culinary journey. The process was meditative, and I loved every bit of it from The slow chopping of vegetables, to the seasoning of the broth, to the slow simmering that filled my apartment. It made my humble abode actually feel like a home.

As I stirred the stew, I realized that cooking for one shouldn’t’ be a chore. It’s should be about savoring the moment, taking the time to care for yourself in a way that’s both practical and deeply loving. It should be about being present. There’s a satisfaction that comes from knowing that you can sustain yourself, that you can create something yummy (even if its only for you!)

I began to experiment more in the kitchen by trying new recipes and adapting them to fit my needs. I learned how to freeze portions for later and how to make a meal that would last for days without losing its appeal. I found joy in the ritual of cooking and in the simple pleasure of feeding myself well.

Over time, I elaborated on this list item even more.

  • See grocery shopping as a little solo adventure and not a chore.
  • Invest in good ingredients sometimes; don’t be afraid to spend a little $$$ on yourself sometimes
  • Don’t be afraid to try something new.

Cooking for one became a way to reclaim my independence and to remind myself that I am enough, just as I am. It was no longer a task to be dreaded, but a skill to be honed. It was a form of self-care that nourished not just my body, but my spirit.

And so, I encourage you to do the same. Find your favorite recipes, experiment with new ones, and most importantly, savor the experience. This is your space, your life. Take the time to make it delicious.

Have a Crock Pot.

Of all the kitchen appliances you could own, the humble crock pot might just be the most useful when living alone. At first glance, it’s easy to overlook. I historically disliked it when I lived at home. It was a bit bulky as well as a bit old-fashioned (very reminiscent of my grandmother’s kitchen). But don’t let appearances fool you. This unassuming appliance is your secret weapon in the art of solo living.

Why a crock pot? Because of its simplicity, convenience, and the power to transform basic ingredients into something that feels like coming home. When you’re living alone, time can either stretch or shrink depending on the day, and a crock pot gives you the flexibility to feed yourself without being tethered to the stove or forced to babysit a dish all day.

Imagine this: you wake up in the morning, knowing it’s going to be one of those long, exhausting days. The last thing you want to do when you get home is cook. We’ve all been there. But the good news is, with a crock pot, all you need is a few minutes of preparation. Throw in your ingredients—maybe some chicken, vegetables, broth, and spices. Then set it, and forget it, sister. As you go about your day, your meal is quietly simmering away, filling your home with the comforting aroma of something cozy and yummy. By the time you return, dinner is ready, and you’ve already put all the work in at the front end of the process and even then it wasn’t that much.

Having a crock pot isn’t just about convenience (though that is an enormous plus). It’s also about consistency. When you’re cooking for one, it’s easy to fall into the habit of eating quick, unhealthy meals or skipping dinner altogether. I know the latter was a trap I found myself falling into far too often. It came to a point where I had to tell myself that no, chips and salsa don’t count for an entire meal. My eating habits were bad and all over the place. Another plus of the crock pot is that encourages you to take the time to plan ahead as well as create meals that will carry you through the week. It’s a tool that helps you establish a routine and a rhythm in your life that grounds you when everything else feels uncertain. It helped add a certain level of dependency to my meal plan.

Next, let’s talk about versatility. Whether you’re in the mood for a rich beef stew, tender pulled pork, or even a comforting mac and cheese, the crock pot can do it all. It’s particularly great for making meals in batches, which means you can cook it once and eat multiple meals. This is a lifesaver for those days when you simply don’t have the energy to prepare anything but still want something home-cooked. It isn’t just limited to soups and stews.

Another benefit of using a crock pot is that it’s incredibly forgiving. Unlike other cooking methods that require precise timing and constant attention, the crock pot is more laid back. You can experiment with different ingredients and spices without worrying too much about getting it wrong. The long cooking process melds flavors together in a way that makes even the simplest of ingredients taste like you’ve been slaving over the stove for hours.

And let’s not forget the cleanup. As you may be all too aware of, cleaning up is up to you and you alone. The last thing you want is a sink full of dishes to deal with after work. With a crock pot, you can often make your entire meal in one pot, saving you both time and effort. A quick wash and rinse and it’s ready to go!

In the end, I view my crock pot as more than an appliance. It’s a companion on my journey of living alone. It is a simple but amazing tool that makes the everyday task of meal prep feel a little less daunting. Please take this as a reminder that you deserve to eat well, even if you’re the only one at the table. So, invest in a good one, and let it become a reliable, old friend.

Collect Recipes.

In learning to cook, recipes can serve as more than just instructions for making food—they can be threads that connect you to the people and places you love. When you’re standing in your kitchen, cooking a meal from a recipe handwritten by your mother, it’s as if she’s right there with you, sharing a moment that transcends the physical distance between you.

Collecting recipes isn’t just about building a repertoire of dishes; it’s about creating a personal archive of memories, stories, and connections. Each recipe you gather is a piece of your history, a way to carry the warmth of loved ones into your daily life. Your mother’s handwriting on a worn recipe card, the smudges of flour and sauce, the little notes in the margins—they all tell a story. They speak of her care, her love, and the countless meals she prepared with you in mind.

When you cook from these recipes, you’re not just feeding yourself; you’re participating in a ritual that spans generations. It’s a way of saying, “I’m here, and so are they.” In a way, your kitchen becomes a meeting place for the people who’ve shaped you, even if they’re miles away or are no longer with us.

It’s not just family recipes that carry this power either. Recipes from friends should also hold a special place in your collection. Each one is a token of friendship, a shared experience that lives on long after the meal has ended. When a friend shares their favorite recipe with you, they’re offering a piece of themselves, a gesture of affection. And when you cook that recipe, you’re reminded of the times you’ve spent together along with the bond you share.

Just think about it! How cute is it that humans not only developed unique ways to prepare their food and nutrients to please their palette but also feel a sense of identity with these aforementioned methods? We record these processes and share them with those close to us. Sharing recipes is an innately human experience so please take part of it!

Building a recipe collection is also a way to create new connections, to expand your culinary horizons. You might come across a recipe online or in a cookbook that intrigues you, something you’ve never tried before. As you experiment with it, tweak it, make it your own. Who knows? Maybe it’ll become one of your regular meals and something you can one day pass on to others.

In this way, your recipe collection becomes a living, evolving document of your life. It’s a mix of the old and the new, the familiar and the adventurous. It can become a reflection of who you’ve known and where you’ve been. I’d like to think that as I add to my growing collection of recipes, I am also collecting memories, experiences and a sense of community.

When I’m feeling particularly alone, pulling out one of these cherished recipes can be a huge comfort. It’s a way of reaching out to the people who care about me, even when they’re not physically present in my small one-bedroom apartment. The act of cooking becomes a way of reconnecting with my roots, of grounding myself in the love that surrounds me, even in the quiet moments of solitude.

So, take the time to gather these recipes, to write them down, to keep them close. Whether it’s your mother’s famous apple pie, your friend’s go-to pork recipe, or a killer casserole recipe that you discovered on your own, each one is a reminder that you are never truly alone. Allow your recipe collection to be more than just a list of meals. Let it be a physical testament of the enduring power of community and the connections that sustain us, even when we’re cooking for one.

Romanticizing being an Author over actually Writing: A Discussion of Age of Scorpius

~ Brooke F. ~ 3 Comments

Tiktok being in my life has brought me very little positives if I’m being real. A time suck at worst, most days, an overwhelming source of writing tips and information I can barely process at best. That being said, it did make me aware of an interesting situation that was unfolding on the booktok side of the app. I’m going to give you a quick recap if you’re not aware of what has been going down, maybe because you are spending your time actually being productive and are NOT chronically online. Sooooo…. let’s get started.

Ok. So. Our story begins with Audra Winter, an aspiring author who through her various tik toks promoting her book, amassed an audience eagerly awaiting the release of her first book, Age of Scorpius. Her world was based on a magic zodiac system that I will not be delving into at this time, but just know, people were excited. I think naturally, people love to sort stuff, especially when it comes to book factions. I think that’s one of the secrets behind the Hunger Games or Harry Potter success so perhaps the same thing was occurring here. It also didn’t hurt that she had an amazing team of artists on her side. She commissioned character artwork, helping people visualize the characters and the world and, as someone who has seen this artwork, it is GOOD.

So the stage is set. Everyone is pumped and she announces she’s going to be publishing her book. Pre-orders come flooding in. It’s a success before it has even found its way into the hands of readers. But then it did…

Age of Scorpius received overwhelmingly negative reviews for poor writing, plot, and editing, despite its viral marketing. Due to the backlash, Audra is reportedly re-editing the book for a new edition, as the first version is no longer available. Wow. Yeah.

So, what happened here exactly? Is the book that bad? According to the overwhelming majority of reviews, yes. And from the passages I have read, also yes. The book reads as a first, unedited draft. I’m not going to pretend I have not produced work similar to Audra. No one is really taking issue really with the work she has produced here, except for the fact that she chose to publish it, expected people to pay for this work, and then had a rather defensive reaction when negative reviews came flooding in. Honestly, her continual reaction to criticism seems to be single-handedly keeping the discussion surrounding this debacle going.

People got what they had paid money for, true, but as paying customers who were dissatisfied with the product, they had the right to leave their review, bad or good. End of story. I don’t think many people would disagree on this point so I’m not really interested in pursuing it further.

What I am interested in in this scenario is what Audra seems to represent here. Their social media illustrates someone very proud of their entrepreneurship and a desire to assemble a whole team and multimedia studio based around their work. All before their book actually came out, mind you. It seemed Audra had built in her head this idea of what her author status would lead to. That everyone would love her book and she would continue to see success… clearly she was getting to ahead of herself, though, because step 1 of the plan was fumbled. Step 1 being writing a good book!

Age of Scorpius read as rushed. It did not get the time, care, or attention the story truly needed. It seemed Audra’s eyes were so set on appearing to be a successful author that they forgot that in order to get there, they needed to make something worth reading. They liked the idea of having a end product more than actually writing. They lost sight of the craft. I think that’s something we can all learn from.

Social media commodifies everything. Everything gets reduced to an aesthetic and/or brand. This process can apply to our hobbies, and then suddenly we are “performing” our hobby and not actually DOING the hobby or enjoying it for that matter. In a world that is filled with terms like “hustle” and a “be your own boss” mindset, it’s easy to see any hobby as a business or a means to an end. We should not be focusing on this when it comes to true craft. Our main goal should simply be to get better. Improve our writing and maybe, at the end of it all, produce something worth other people’s time to read.

If you are interested in further deep dives on the Audra Winter controversy, I’m sure you can find plenty of videos on it on youtube (I should know, I’ve listened to multiple). Mostly the point I want to get across in this post is simple: We are all capable of this. Social media makes this mistake easier and even encourages it. Don’t give in. Get good. Get better. Slowly and steady wins the race.

No One Prepared Us for Adult Friendship

~ Brooke F. ~ 4 Comments

Recently, a certain topic has been occupying my thoughts more and more. I have read a few books and listened to a handful of podcasts on it, yet I still feel like it is not discussed nearly enough. I am, of course, talking about friendship. Female friendship specifically.

Right now, we live in a time where dating advice is everywhere. Dating coaches dominate social media feeds, and the internet is overflowing with content about how to attract, keep, or heal from “the one.” Meanwhile, friendship, and the role it plays in shaping our lives, often feels like an afterthought. It is treated as something secondary or assumed, rather than something that also requires intention, care, and understanding.

My interest in this topic has only grown as I have moved through different stages of life. There are particular growing pains that surface when you and your friends make the leap from high school to college. Things become complicated, but not in the dramatic, obvious ways we expect. Instead, the complications are quieter, slower, and often harder to name.

High school friendships are already known for their turbulence. There are obvious highs and lows, and plenty of material there for discussion. Lately, though, what draws my attention most are articles and podcasts that focus on adult friendship. These are conversations led by people who are trying to put language to experiences many of us share, especially those that feel unique to this moment in history. How do you transition from high school to college without losing everyone you care about? Why does it suddenly feel like people are drifting away or ignoring you? Why do your friends start changing in ways that make you wonder whether the friendship can survive at all?

There are also new complications that previous generations did not have to navigate in quite the same way. I have a friend who is a terrible texter, and our friendship has suffered because of long distance. Before the age of phones, this kind of constant but uneven communication was barely possible. Now, silence can feel personal, even when it is not meant to be. We find ourselves living in a unique era for adult friendship, one shaped by technology, mobility, and shifting expectations. That reality fascinates me.

These nuances still feel under-discussed, so I want to share a few of the voices I have been reading and listening to lately that have really fueled my interest in this topic.

First, and easily my favorite, is Alexandra Hayes Robinson. She is a YouTuber who runs an advice column, and she gives friendship the kind of thoughtful attention it deserves. One of her most well-known ideas is the “six besties” theory, which I love so much that I want to briefly recap it here.

The core idea is that different friends play different roles in your life, with varying levels of closeness and responsibility. She talks about a Good-Time Bestie, someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with and can have fun with, but who may not be the person you call during a crisis. She also introduces the North Star Bestie, the friend who plays an active, steady role in your life and who feels safe knowing the deepest parts of you. She goes on to describe coworker besties, people you genuinely like and enjoy within a work environment, even if you rarely see each other outside of professional settings, along with other friendship categories that reflect real adult dynamics.

I appreciate this theory because it helps make sense of how messy adult friendships can look once you leave the structured world of school. Not every friendship has to be all-consuming or lifelong to be meaningful. This framework allows for friendships to shift without immediately jumping to the conclusion that they have failed or must be ended entirely.

I also think this approach helps manage expectations. Not every friend can, or should, meet the same emotional needs. This theory simply gives language to a truth many of us already feel but struggle to articulate. For that reason alone, I highly recommend checking her work out.

Next up is Charlotte Morabito. While I do not watch her content quite as regularly, she has a strong catalog of thoughtful videos on friendship, particularly on the unhealthy mindsets we often cling to that end up creating unnecessary conflict in our relationships.

Just this morning, I watched an excellent video of hers titled “Why You Always Care More Than Your Friends.” What I appreciated most is what the video does not do. She does not default to the familiar narrative of telling you that you are “just such a giver,” while everyone else is lazy, selfish, or simply not worthy of your time. There is no rush to villainize your friends or to encourage cutting people off at the first sign of imbalance.

Instead, she approaches the topic with a more critical and grounded lens, walking through a variety of dynamics that could realistically be at play. One possibility she explores is the idea that you might be trying to prove your friendship to someone by immediately showering them with praise, favors, and attention. While this often comes from a good place, it can quickly become overwhelming and even unhealthy, especially when it is rooted in insecurity or fear of being abandoned.

She also talks about how mismatched expectations can quietly erode friendships. It is possible that you have never clearly communicated what you need from your friends. Maybe they genuinely believe you enjoy planning every outing or initiating every conversation and do not want to step on your toes. In that case, what feels like neglect to you may simply be a misunderstanding on their end.

I really appreciate this framework for discussion because it steers away from accusation and instead encourages self-reflection. It asks people to consider how their own patterns, assumptions, and unspoken expectations might be contributing to the situation or even creating it entirely. If there is one thing that feels universally true, it is that people can get very lost inside their own heads.

Anyway, I have linked the video below if you are interested in checking it out for yourself.

Third up is Psychology with Dr. Ana. She is a licensed psychologist, which brings a slightly different and more scientific perspective to many of the scenarios she discusses, and that is especially true when it comes to her conversations about friendship.

Much of her content centers on the expectations we carry in our heads but never actually communicate to the people around us. She talks about boundaries, the importance of naming your needs, and the thinking patterns that can quietly cause us to get in our own way without us realizing it. Rather than framing these issues as personal failures, she presents them as habits that can be examined and adjusted with awareness and practice.

What I appreciate most is that she manages to cover these topics without slipping into overly polished, holier-than-thou therapy language. Her approach feels accessible and practical, which makes her insights easier to absorb and apply to real-life friendships rather than leaving them stuck in the abstract.

Finally, I read a book. Yes, everyone, I am now an expert.

That said, I will admit it is not as directly related to adult friendship as my previous recommendations. The book focuses specifically on female friendship during middle school and high school. Even so, I found it incredibly relevant. It explores how, as women, our friends often have the ability to wound us more deeply than almost anyone else in our lives, all while leaving us questioning whether we are imagining the hurt in the first place.

A large portion of the book examines female aggression and the subtle ways it tends to be expressed. Rather than overt conflict, it looks at exclusion, silence, passive behavior, and emotional manipulation, patterns that are often dismissed or minimized. While the book is not explicitly about adult friendship, I still think it is an excellent resource for anyone who carries a lot of baggage from past female friendships, or honestly, for anyone at all.

I do not have to tell you that some people do not outgrow the behaviors described in this book. Those patterns can easily follow us into adulthood if they are never named or challenged. Because of that, I also think this book can be useful as a mirror. It gives us the opportunity to check ourselves, to make sure we are saying what we mean, communicating clearly, and having necessary conversations instead of letting resentment quietly build. (See said book below)

IN CONCLUSION…

Friendship is not a static thing we master once and carry effortlessly through life. It changes as we change, shaped by distance, time, technology, and the quiet evolution of who we are becoming. The transition from adolescent friendship to adult friendship can feel disorienting precisely because there are so few clear scripts for it. We are often left trying to interpret silence, shifting priorities, and unmet expectations on our own.

What these books, videos, and conversations have helped me realize is that many of the tensions we experience in friendship are not signs of failure, but signs of growth happening in real time. Adult friendship asks us to be more self-aware, more communicative, and more honest than we were ever required to be before. It challenges us to examine our expectations, our insecurities, and the roles we unconsciously assign to the people we love and probably want to keep around!

If nothing else, I hope this encourages more open conversation around friendship, especially female friendship. It deserves the same thought, care, and nuance we so readily give to romantic relationships. I think this post is probably the beginning of many, as I delve deeper into this topic, so there is likely more to come! Stay tuned!

TikTok is Bad for your Writing

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

And in other news, water is wet!

Please excuse the obvious titling. In truth, it’s not just TikTok specifically, though, that has been the newest catalyst for this problem I’m experiencing regarding social media and its relationship to the creative process. You might be wondering: what problem exactly am I referring to? What is there to be said on this topic that hasn’t already been reiterated numerous times online? Social media is distracting and, therefore, we become too distracted to create. Duh. We all know this.

And yes, this much is true. Social media is horrible for our attention spans, but I’m going to take a break from railing against this specific issue and focus on another one that I have personally experienced this month. This is the issue of inspiration overload and the resulting creative paralysis that ensues.

I love a good Pinterest scroll. This was my first social media of choice as a teen. I felt like it helped me get started on a project by getting my brain churning with endless inspiration. It had it all! Writing prompts, concept art, writing playlists, tips, life hacks—everything!!!

For the most part, I walked away from my Pinterest scrolls feeling positive at this time. I’d scroll with a specific goal in mind, further develop an idea, pin a few pins (or even create a new board for this one idea), and then walk away within 10–15 minutes. Done!

I don’t know where I went wrong… well, I have a guess, so let’s discuss.

There came a point where my social media habits became less orderly. As an adult, school took up less time, I got on additional social media, and simultaneously, those platforms became more attention-grabbing and endless. I remember a time when you could scroll Instagram and it would eventually give you a message like, “That’s it! You’ve seen everything new that there is to see! Now go do something else!”

It definitely no longer does this.

You can scroll and scroll and scroll. This is true of every social media platform right now.
“It’s for inspiration!” I’d say. After all, it was writing-related content that I was consuming. After a point, however (whether due to the nature of the content or the sheer amount of it), I found it very easy to slip into the role of consumer as opposed to creator. Ideally, you should be able to do both, but that does require a certain level of balance that feels nearly impossible to obtain. What is that magic amount of time to scroll BookTok or Pinterest concept art before the very practice itself becomes a creativity-eating monster?

What I found was that after consuming copious amounts of writing content, I was hit with this intense feeling of creative paralysis. I recalled the gazillions of writing tips and do’s and don’ts. I recalled all that I should be doing. Show, don’t tell. Use metaphors. Don’t use metaphors. Use them sparingly. Adverbs are evil. Adjectives are evil. Passive voice is okay. Passive voice is evil. Develop your world entirely before writing. It will develop as you write, and then you have to rewrite it all. Put your character development above worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is key. And blah, blah, blah, blah.

I can’t write and I suck. That’s the conclusion of today’s writing session.

You see, we weren’t made to have this many voices speaking into our lives, much less our creative process.

At some point, inspiration stops being fuel and starts being noise. And while social media loves to market itself as a wellspring of creativity, it rarely tells us when to stop drinking. Creativity, at least for me, doesn’t thrive in a crowded room full of opinions shouting over one another. It needs quiet. It needs boredom. It needs the uncomfortable stretch of sitting with an idea long enough for it to become something mine.

So maybe the solution isn’t cutting out inspiration entirely, but treating it with a little more intention and a lot more restraint. Fewer voices. Fewer rules. More trust. Because the work doesn’t happen in the scroll. It happens when you finally close the app, sit down, and let yourself write badly, imperfectly, and freely again.

So happy late new year! Let’s make stuff again and give it a rest. The mantra I want to embody this year is Less is more. No more drinking out of a fire hose. Let’s try to think of it more as taking a sip from a well. Slow and steady.

Book Trends I’m Low-Key Hating Right Now

~ Brooke F. ~ 1 Comment

Look, I know reading is supposed to be fun. And if you love any of these tropes, that’s great. Truly. I’m not judging you. I promise, dear, reader. I’m directing my judgment towards the industry that keeps churning out the same lukewarm leftovers and calling it gourmet fiction. I know these tropes have a place in fiction somewhere but I have a few gripes as they become widespread…

So buckle up while I gently roast some beloved tropes. If I hit your comfort trope… I’m sorry. (I’m not sorry.)

Enemies to Lovers (I’m begging… please stop)

Look, I know this trope is BookTok’s golden child. But at this point, it’s been done so much that authors are scrambling to manufacture hostility out of absolutely nothing. Or worse…they’re romanticizing behaviors that go way beyond a mild red flag.

I’m tired. I want conflict with substance, not passive-aggressive banter and emotional constipation that magically becomes love in chapter 17.

Morally Grey / Redeemed Villain (Rarely Done Well)

It’s either:

legitimately abusive people who get a redemption arc because they’re hot

or

villains who are “morally grey,” except their actions are… actually just evil?

There’s a difference between “tragic complexity” and “this man kills entire villages but has one soft scene with a kitten so we swoon.”

BookTok, release him. I’m begging.

Every Brooding Love Interest, Ever

I’ve reached my broody quota for the decade. If has “shadows behind his eyes” one more time, I’m throwing the book.

Can we get more emotionally balanced romantic leads??? Men who communicate??? Men who don’t describe themselves as a monster but just… deal with it in other ways? They don’t even always have to be healthy, I just need a break from the “I treat X main character like crap because of the tragedy.” What if he deals with his feelings by cracking jokes all time? Trying to be liked and loved by everyone? A greed for money or power because it would have prevented his personal tragedy? Idk, I’ll even take a shopping addiction at this point. Please, just change it up sometimes.

Mythological Retellings

I’ve my breaking point. Every Greek myth, Roman myth, Celtic myth, minor footnote of a myth has been rewritten, gender-swapped, aestheticized, and thrown into a love triangle. You name it, its been done but with a twist!

I used to love these, but the market is so flooded I feel like I need a snorkel. Give the myths a nap. Let them rest.

Underdeveloped Magic Systems

I’m tired of magic that’s basically:

✨ vibes ✨

and zero rules.

Magic doesn’t need to be hard sci-fi level, but if plot problems are solved with “because the magic suddenly works this time,” then I’m checking out. I need a little structure here. Develop. Elaborate. Establish. Please.

Fantasy Formula Fatigue

A much more broader complaint but the BookTok effect is real. Something goes viral, sells 10 billion copies, and suddenly we get:

the same cover,

the same “aesthetic”,

the same plot beats,

the same protagonist with “fire in her veins” or whatever.

It feels like copy-paste culture. I want fresh stories, not reskinned bestsellers.

Childhood Friends Who End Up Together

This one is personal: I just don’t care for it.

Also applies to “the leads always end up together” no matter how incompatible, underdeveloped, or generically pleasant they are. Sometimes characters should just… not date? Sometimes the chemistry isn’t there?

And that’s okay!

Let them end the book with growth, not forced romance. Ghibli has been doing this right since forever.

Tragic Backstories (Especially the Last-Minute Ones)

Not everyone needs a traumatic fifteen-page flashback to be interesting.

And oh my goodness, can we PLEASE have more stories where the characters have loving, functional families? Actual parents? Actual siblings? Families that aren’t evil, dead, or conveniently absent so the protagonist can be “strong and independent”?

There is so much narrative potential in healthy, intact families.

Imagine:

an adventuring party that’s literally a family business

siblings questing together and bickering the whole time

a fantasy inn run by a chaotic family who’ve seen every hero, villain, and bard in the realm

a family cracking a mystery together and following clues

Tell me that wouldn’t slap.

Broody Mentors

Sorry if I’m repeating myself but this combo of tropes specifically gets under my skin. If the mentor is mysterious, brooding, evasive, emotionally stunted, and 500 years old… no thank you.

There is something inherently weird about that dynamic, and adding brooding on top of it makes my skin crawl. Give me wise, funny mentors. Give me competent, happy mentors. Give me mentors who aren’t one bad day away from a villain arc.

The Chosen One (I Don’t Hate It, But Please Cool It)

It started as a classic but hasn’t evolved much since.

I’d love to see more stories about the supporting character who never becomes the star, who chooses loyalty over destiny, who stays in the background and is okay with it.

There’s beauty in being the one who helps and not the one who saves the world.

Aaaand I think that about wraps it up! I could probably go on but that’s enough venting and negativity for the day. Hopefully you got some mild enjoyment from this post or at least related a little to some of my reading icks.

Hopefully see you in the next post, reader!

Yay or Nay Book Tag!

~ Brooke F. ~ 5 Comments

Got tagged by Riddhi B. over at Whispering Stories! Thank you so much for the tag—it’s been far too long since I’ve done one of these, and honestly? I miss it. I love feeling connected to the broader blogging world, so today we’re diving into a little game of “Yay or Nay” with some popular bookish trends.

This trend was originally created by Becky over on her blog, so definitely check out her post if you want to see where it all started!

With the intro out of the way… let’s jump in.

Bookish Tropes

I’m very on the fence here. Tropes can be fun and comforting…like that warm blanket you’ve wrapped yourself in a thousand times sitting on the corner of your couch (And may look a little ratty) but still love. But sometimes they feel exhausted (Much like aforementioned couch blanket). (And yes, I’m looking straight at you, enemies-to-lovers. I’ve read so many versions that my eyes roll on instinct now.)

The real issue is when publishing leans too heavily on whatever trope BookTok is obsessed with that month. It can feel like creativity gets shoved into a garbage can and quickly forgotten: “Write this trope, this way, with these beats, or it won’t sell.” So tropes are a Half Yay, Half Nay for me.

Alternating POV

Yay! When authors do this well, it’s incredibly engaging. You get different layers of the story, different emotional angles, and sometimes even dramatically different interpretations of the same event.

But when it’s done badly? It’s torture. You’re stuck slogging through a POV you don’t care about, flipping pages praying to get back to the character who actually has something interesting going on. So maybe technically another half yay and half nay, thinking on it now.

Ambiguous Endings

Mostly Yay from me. I love when an ambiguous ending feels intentional. I like when the author is almost asking you at the end to imagine where they go. Use that brain of yours!

What I don’t love is when it feels like the author simply… ran out of ideas. Or panicked. Or thought, “What if I just… stopped here?” Ambiguity should fit the story, not be a last-minute escape hatch.

Non-Fiction

Yay! Shocking to my high-school self, who would’ve voted “Nay” with her whole chest. But I’ve grown to love nonfiction of all sorts… memoirs, nature writing, cultural commentary, even the occasional self-help (ok, a lot of self help). Sometimes real life is intriguing.

Historical Fiction

A personal Nay for me. I’ve tried! I really have! Something about the pacing or the tone or the dusty-old-period-piece vibes doesn’t click for me. Maybe I just haven’t met the right historical fiction book yet, but until then… nay. I am so far from a Jane Austen girl too.

Morally Grey Characters

Another split vote. Truly morally grey characters? A Yay. Give me complex motivations, ethical dilemmas, conflicted loyalties! It can be chef’s kiss.

But a lot of “morally grey” characters in romance are really just… rude. Or emotionally unavailable. Or hot with trauma. That’s not morally grey, that’s a red flag. Go get therapy. So: Half Yay, Half Nay.

First Person POV

Big Yay. My favorite POV, honestly. I just love being inside a character’s brain and hearing their inner monologue, watching them rationalize questionable decisions, and getting that close, personal connection. When it’s done well, it feels like borrowing someone else’s brain for a few hundred pages.

Audiobooks

Nay! I’ve tried but it simply doesn’t work for me. My brain wanders unless I’m physically turning pages. Plus, I feel like I retain the story so much better when reading visually. There’s something about the tactile act of reading that makes the story stick.

Re-Reading

Yay! If it was good the first time, why not revisit it? I love catching details I missed or rediscovering lines that hit harder now that I’m older… or just more tired.

Classic Novels

Mostly Nay. I struggle to read a lot of classics without feeling like I’m decoding something. But I do have my favorites: The Princess Bride (forever iconic), Sherlock Holmes (so witty), Little House on the Prairie, and Animal Farm (simple and brutal).

Annotating

Nay. I wish I could be that aesthetic cottagecore annotator with all the colorful tabs but I can’t bring myself to write in my books. It feels like vandalism. My brain screams “crime!” every time.

Cracking Book Spines

Depends. A beautiful special edition? Absolutely not, I treat it like a museum artifact. A beat-up, well-loved personal copy? Crack away. That’s character development.

Character-Driven Books

BIG FAT YAY. My beloved. Give me deep and flawed characters, emotional journeys, growth arcs…yes, please. Plot is great, but characters are what keep me thinking about a book weeks later.

Past/Present Split Timeline

Mostly Nay. I can admire the skill required to weave two timelines together, but it’s not my favorite reading experience. There’s a lot of hopping around, and sometimes I feel like I’m doing mental gymnastics just to keep track of who knows what and when.

Heavy World Building

Yay! Build your world! Flesh it out! Let me smell the air and know the currency system! I love when an author actually commits to making their universe feel real. It shows care.

Signed,
Me (your local fantasy enthusiast)

In conclusion…

That’s all for this round of Yay or Nay! Thanks so much for reading and thanks again to Riddhi for tagging me. I’ll drop my own tags below as I have already put together my list of victims… I mean, fellow bloggers and friends.

Stay cozy and keep reading! 📚✨

I tag:

  1. Forest Stories aka Feather&Pen
  2. Deborah O’ Carroll
  3. Reflections and Reads
  4. Lillian Keith
  5. The Texas Lass

The Ultimate Guide to Using AI to Write a Novel

~ Brooke F. ~ 6 Comments

Hello, readers! I’ve got a useful “writing” guide for you today. I realize that I’ve dedicated this blog to writing tips on how to better one’s craft, so what’s more on theme with that mission than making a guide on how to use AI to accelerate your “writing” process! No, not editing. Writing. The writing itself. You read that right. Read on to figure out how you can craft a best seller without typing a single paragraph of prose and bothering with the whole pesky process of… actually thinking up original ideas and how to effectively communicate that to your readers.

In short, in today’s rapidly accelerating digital age, writers have unprecedented tools at their disposal. With the rise of artificial intelligence, crafting an entire manuscript has never been easier. Why rely on your own voice, perspective, or hard-earned life experience when a silicon parrot can spit back something resembling prose?

Step 1: Pick Your Genre

Choose a genre you love deeply. Something personal. Something meaningful. Then immediately ignore all of that and ask AI to brainstorm “10 hot book ideas in any genre that sells.” Even try “trending book themes” if you’re at a loss for what moral you should convey in this piece. Morality should be determined by mas market, which is what your AI companion will reflect.

Step 2: Prompt the AI… a Lot.

Type a prompt. Then rewrite it fourteen times because the AI keeps misunderstanding your “tone.”
(It’s almost like… writing? Except somehow worse.)

“Make it more whimsical.”
“But also somber.”
“But also funny, but not too funny.”
“And can it sound like me even though I haven’t written a word?”

Step 3: Marvel at How Fast the Words Appear

After all, this is the age of INSTANT gratification. Our writing process should evolve to follow suit. Books should be written in the time it takes to make instant oatmeal. That’s how you get a meaningful piece of work worth sharing with the world.

Step 4: Experience the Sudden Realization That This… Is Mediocre

Realize that this work is nothing but a Frankenstein of everything that has come before it. With extra emphasis on what’s been trending in writing in the last 5 years. As everyone knows, literature peaked when Romantasy Slop started being churned out and hitting shelves. These books are all so similar, you can’t quite remember if you’ve read them before or not, but that’s alright, the indulgent story beats are comforting if not entirely formulaic and overdone… right? We read for comfort. Comfort should always be a priority in literature at all times. At. All. Times. Do NOT present anything discomforting or something that could be perceived as causing your reader to THINK.

Wait, what we’re we talking about again.

Step 5: Denial or Rewrite

You’re at a crossroads at this step. You can continue to tell yourself it’s fine and send it off for publishing anyway, or you can attempt to salvage your AI slop by editing. A lot. Please, by all means, continue editing. Realize every sentence feels like it was handcrafted by someone who has never tasted food, felt sunlight, or endured a junior-high breakup. Rewrite one paragraph. Then two.

Suddenly, you’ve rewritten the entire chapter.

Suddenly, you’re rewriting the entire book.

Congratulations! You have now done the exact amount of work you were trying to avoid in the first place. You’ll tell yourself this is simply “refining your AI-assisted draft,” but really you’ve rewritten 90% of it because your actual human brain finally woke up and said, “No. This is wrong. It sounds wrong and it’s not good.”

Step 6: Face the Existential Crisis

Ask yourself why you thought skipping the workout would get you stronger.
Then look at AI and realize it’s not your writing partner. It can’t write for you in the same way it can go on a run for you, make a call to your mother for you, can’t eat healthy for you, can’t laugh for you, can’t love people for you, can’t, can’t, can’t.

The shortcut is so tempting, and AI companies will lead you to believe that the possibilities of AI are endless. Sure, there are uses to be explored, but AI is not endless, nor should it be. AI will never write a novel for you. AI will never be a human for you. It is in its name. It is against its very nature. You are human. Writing is in YOUR nature.

Author’s note:

This is not an ultimate condemnation of AI. More so a thought exercise to make sure we’re not using it irresponsibly. I’m quite curious how AI can function as an editing assistant or writing prompt generator. But the sudden flood of AI slop books on Amazon, where not a single word was penned by a being with a brain, has me clutching my pearls a bit. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below, AI in writing has become a common topic on this blog as it invades the writing world, for better worse, and I’m always happy to hear others’ thoughts on these changes.

k byeeee! Thanks for reading!

Your Screentime Problem Isn’t Discipline, It’s Boredom

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Or, at least mine is, come to find out. But before I dive into today’s blog post, I just wanted to say hi and recap my last post. I gave you readers a little life update about how I want to commit more time to writing and continue to fight this nasty habit of mine: doomscrolling instead of doing something that actually makes me feel fulfilled. I’ve made numerous posts about this little struggle, which I’m sure is becoming almost universal at this point. Who isn’t trying to lower their screen time these days? Especially when we all know there are tons of more fulfilling things to do.

So that leads me into today’s post, which comes from a few random thoughts I had when I realized that I’d actually managed to lower my screen time lately. To a whole two hours a day! (Cue the round of applause.)

Okay… so maybe it could still be better, but as a self-proclaimed YouTube essay addict, cut me some slack. This is better. But I began to wonder how I managed this over the past month. I’ve made a variety of attempts to lower my screen time with varying degrees of success, so it felt important to pinpoint what strategy finally worked for my life. Why exactly was I able to reduce my screen time this time around? What changed?

The conclusion I arrived at was simple: I needed a hobby.

In my previous blog posts, I’ve described my distant desire to reduce screentime, but I didn’t elaborate much on my strategy for doing so because I assumed it would be as simple as that. I’d decide to be on my phone less, and therefore, I would be. Alas, it doesn’t always pan out that way (hence those varying degrees of success I mentioned).

Turns out sheer willpower is a tough thing to rely on when it comes to breaking a bad habit. You need to fill that empty space with something else. You, or at least I, need something else to occupy your time. I feel a little sheepish typing that out. The conclusion seems obvious, but it wasn’t so obvious to me at first. Certain months, I was terrible about filling my evenings after work, and lo and behold, those were the nights I was most likely to do something… screen-y.

This last month, however, was different. I didn’t plan for it to be different. It just sort of happened. I wanted a book from the library. I wanted to spend more time writing. So I invested time in both. My focus was less on reducing screen time and more on simply doing something else. But it seems that the lack of doomscrolling was a delightful byproduct. And so, my conclusion was made: I need to stop focusing so much on not getting on my phone and instead focus on what hobby sounds fun to dive into on a random weeknight.

This is probably obvious to everyone reading and hardly a novel discovery, but, fool that I am, I didn’t realize until recently that I need more than willpower to kick an overindulging screen habit. I need a hobby. Actually, a few of them.

But if you happen to be in my shoes and are possibly just as dense as me, maybe this post helped you realize that you’re not a weak-willed weenie. You just need to direct your attention toward something else you enjoy. Focus less on not doing something, and more on doing something better for you.

So here’s your gentle reminder for the week: put the phone down, pick something up, and let your hands and mind get busy with life again.

And I think that’s all for now! Byeeee! 🙂

October Life Update

~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

I’ll probably keep making these posts until I die. Yaknow, the obligatory “I haven’t posted in X months but! I’m not dead!” posts. All that being said, wow! I haven’t posted in about 2 months, and yes! I am indeed not dead. I think ya’ll are used to this song and dance by now.

So! What have I been up to, two or maybe even THREE of you may be wondering. In short: not writing. But before you bring out the tomatoes and fruit to throw at me (as I literally wrote a post about not procrastinating writing like three posts ago), I will say, it’s been a busy past couple of weeks. This was less of me blobbing around and doing anything but writing and more of me rushing around and doing anything but writing. Big difference.

Okay, okay, I’ll cut to the chase. I got married.

And gosh, it was lovely.

(Relevant instagram post inserted above because I actually have no pictures on my computer yet).

So yeah! It’s been busy. Making room in your house for another human is also an arduous task, especially if you find yourself a collector of a wide array of trinkets and are used to being utterly selfish with your use of space. It has been accomplished, however (if you ignore the study/office space), and we find ourselves finally lapsing into a semblance of routine that we now call normal.

The aftermath is very real though. I am a routine person by nature. When this routine is messed with, I find myself collecting a nice little bouquet of bad habits before I try to get my crap together and shed them again. And that pretty much sums up where I’m at currently.

Living with a lovely man, now known as my husband, and learning to share my life. I have also, as of late, found myself struggling to manage my time (namely, overusing my phone, a constant frenemy of mine), struggling to read, and struggling to eat actual meals, not just a weird variety of snacks and junk food. And then I got sick.

I write this post sitting at home during regular business hours with a cup of mint coffee in a mug beside me (which I’m quite proud of actually, because another bad habit that has been wriggling its way into my life is my over-eagerness to spend $7 on a fancy but delicious coffee. Great treat, but not an everyday purchase.). I caught an annoying cold, which required me to call out sick for probably the rest of the week. Irksome, but I have decided to use the time to do a few dishes and reflect on my life.

This reflecting has yielded a few conclusions: One, I need to get back on track with both my caffeine and time management. Second, I need to work on a new writing project. Now, figuring out what this creative project is, is a whole other problem of its own.

I love thinking up writing ideas, but I think it’s an entirely separate hobby from writing them. I am overflowing with concepts and projects I would love to see brought to life, but I often find myself grasping to find the motivation and time management skills to produce something (ugh, there it is again. Time management. Ick).

Creating an actual end product writing-wise just takes so darn long, and, possibly, linking me back to the whole time management thing, I don’t like taking that time. I often find myself spending that time making a Pinterest board for it and nothing more. This, unsurprisingly, leaves me entirely dissatisfied. And I’m tired of being dissatisfied.

(After all, it’s been a few months since my latest poetry book release and I’m getting ANTSY)

So! The anthem for the next month or so is to work on SOMETHING. It doesn’t matter if it’s a singular huge project or a bunch of tiny little ones. I just need to get back into the creative mindset of making something and letting it suck. And perhaps, in all this project bouncing around, I’ll find out what I want to set my eyes and attention on consistently, and that elusive next project will make itself known.

So stick around, there’ll hopefully be more to come as I’m getting back into the swing of things. And if not, I give you permission to throw the fruit this time. Throw a few “boos” in there too if you’d like.