Tag: writer

Insults to Keep up your Sleeve Part 2

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Because swearing is boring.

  1. You Cold Corndog

Listen, corndogs are kind of iffy anyway. Especially the oven made ones. They’re especially bad when they’re soggy and the hot dog and the breading seem to be two totally separate entities with the bread sliding off.

2. You Crusty Toothpaste Tube

You can thank my brother for the inspiration on this one. I mean, does it REALLY take that much of your precious 12 year old boy time to put the dumb tooth paste cap back on the tube???

3. You Goblin

For if you’re feeling real whimisical.

5. You Spork

Because sporks are supposed to do two things but in actuality does neither of them at all. Often like my siblings.

6. Cough Syrup

Lovely, simply because its off the wall but obviously insulting.

7. You greasy door handle

You can just feel this one.

8. Haggis

A Scottish dish consisting of a sheep’s or calf’s offal mixed with suet, oatmeal, and seasoning and boiled in a bag, traditionally one made from the animal’s stomach. And the perfect insult for a not so savory individual.

9. You Limp Lettuce

Because the joys of Alliteration.

Night Time Adventures to be had

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Nighttime adventures to be had:

Stargazing (duh)

An all-nighter spent out on the town and then find a place for breakfast in the morning. 

A sleepover that takes place on the trampoline

Camp out complete with a campfire and ghost stories. 

Go kayaking at midnight. The water is so peaceful and in clear nights you can see the sky reflected in the water. 

Have a night reading session with friends. 

Pull an all-nighter writer if you and your friends write. 

Midnight picnic

Sparklers. 

Take a bluetooth speaker with you out at night and have a dance off with your friends. 

Make up stories and tell them to each other because original fairytales are pretty awesome. 

Geocaching but at night. 

Wake up before the sunrises and fix yourself some tea. Then wrap yourself up in a blanket and watch the sun rise. 

You know what? Just host a midnight tea party. 

Water Adventures to be Had

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Here are a few water related adventurous activities:

Canoeing 

Kayaking

Beach walking 

Swimming in a lake or ocean

Fishing 

Creek walking 

Swimming in a pool

Paint next to a body of water or even the scenery around said body of water. 

Or if you want to get real creative…

Picnicking in a boat. 

Reading in a boat 

Get a friend and send off a floating lantern in a boat, tangled style. You can buy floating lanterns online and they’re not that expensive. 

Have a water war

Throw a bottle with a note in it into the ocean. 

Paint or write in a boat. It’s incredibly relaxing. 

Learn a few sea shanties.

Road trip Tips

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Road trip Adventure Tips:

You and your friends each compose a playlist for the trip, and go through all of them. A wonderful way to share your music and explore new stuff as well. 

Stop by museums along the way. 

Libraries are good underrated places to stop as well. Not only can they be beautiful and fun, but they also have super clean bathrooms usually. 

Don’t forget your camera. You have your phone but it usually dies when it’s inconvenient. 

Bring a book selection and share it with your friends. 

Get a 5-Way Multi Headphone Audio Splitter Connector for you and the squad. If you don’t know what that is, I recommend looking them up, they’re way cool. 

Find interesting out of the way places to eat. Going to a Burger King anywhere is pretty much the same experience no matter where you are. 

Or if you don’t have the extra money to spend, being your own snacks. 

Play the license plate game. 

Keep a journal of all the days you spend traveling. 

Bring lots of pillows a blankets for a comfy ride. 

Impulse Control

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

I was thinking, what would my past week have looked like had I no impulse control. It’s a scary yet interesting question. 

I think I would have thrown a head of lettuce in my sister’s face. 

I would have told that girl her dolphin earrings were cute and that lady that her highlights were spot on. 

I would have said hello to that person I thought I recognized and asked that girl who was crying at the library if she was okay. 

I would have randomly turned left as I drove out of our driveway and would have skipped work. 

I would have gone to the coffee shop and just drawn with charcoal all day. 

I would have told the barista that I wanted the sweetest drink she could concoct and I would drink it in one gulp. 

I would have woken up at 3 am to take a walk outside at night.  

I would have punched a wall once and a fake friend twice. 

I would have bought myself a new dress and shoes and would have danced in front of the mirror just to watch the folds of fabric shimmer and wave. 

I would have dyed my hair how I always wanted and maybe even cut it short. 

Until now, I haven’t realized fear has stopped me from doing so many things. Some good and some bad. 

A Very, very, very Bad Day

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Okay, gents and ladies. It’s about time I write about an adventure…

So come and listen to my tale, sad but fantastic, of one of the worst days I’ve had in a long, long time. 

I’m am of course taking about the NyQuil and boiled egg train wreck. And I don’t mean train wreck in the sense that is was a mess of a day (though it was) but in the sense it involved a literal train wreck. 

Are you intrigued yet? Well I sure hope so because I’ve pulled nearly every trick to gain your interest. 

But truth is, it really was just a bad day. One of those days where it felt as if nothing could go right and everything that could go wrong, did. 

So let us turn back the clock… back to where it all began….

This tragic chain of events was put into motion on a Sunday night. 

I had a cold. 

Nothing too bad except for the fact that every time I tried to lie down my nose decided to run like Usain Bolt. So it was kind of hard to sleep. So (like a Norma person) I took some pills that just so happened to be cold medicine.  But what I didn’t realize is this wasn’t just any cold medicine; this was NyQuil night time, coma inducing, death emulating cold medicine whereas I didn’t even think I was taking a night time cold medicine (it was in a regular day time box). So I, without being in full possession of this knowledge, took not one but TWO of these pills. When I realized my mistake, I was… stressed?

You see, NyQuil is some pretty strong stuff and it seemed to effect me pretty bad in the past. So much so that if I ever needed to take it, I would only take on capsule and even then I was a zombie the next day.  

But I had work this Monday, so the next morning I needed to be up and going at a pretty decent hour. 

So I googled how long it took NyQuil to leave one’s system. I wasn’t super happy with the results where I found that it could take anywhere from 8 hours to THREE DAYS. 

yikes. 

But there was nothing to be done at this point, so I just went to bed and slept in my tired defeat. 

And so began my soon to be bad day, when I woke the next morning feeling about as conscious and awake as A sloth during hibernation (I don’t think they actually hibernate but that’s not the point). 

But simply getting out of bed wasn’t the end of my problems. Turns out my siblings don’t know how to replace the toilet paper roll so I had that fun moment. 

Then I had the boiled egg issue. Usually The night before work I would pre-boil an egg for myself so I wouldn’t have to worry about breakfast on a Monday morning. But I had forgotten to mark the egg so my mother thought it was just a plain ol regular one and put it in a container with all our raw ones. 

So I began cracking our eggs into a bowl in a desperate search for my chosen boiled one. I never found it. So instead I had six scrambled eggs for breakfast. Yummy.

And then it came time for work. Or so I thought. The road the way I normally went was blocked off so I had to go the slighter longer way. No big deal… until I realized they had construction going on down that road. And to top things off, when I slammed on my breaks a little to quickly to stop for said construction, my coffee decided to have a will of its own and commit coffee suicide, pitching itself forward so it could spill all over my radio, blue tooth speaker, and music player. But hey, at least my entire car smells like a caramel frappecino. I’m sure THATS going to age well with hours of sunlight!

But I didn’t have time to clean up that mess just yet. I was still driving at the time. So I drove on, trying to wipe my jeans dry as best as I knew how. When I leaned over I noticed that only half of my coffee had been spilt so there was still a little silver lining there. 

Noooopee. 

I cross over a railroad track to my work and unfortunately this train just decided to take a quick nap right in the middle of the place I needed to cross over to get to work. And (also unfortunately) I wasn’t expecting this stop so I slammed on my breaks and said goodbye to that last half of my coffee. You will be missed. 

Thankfully they got the train up and running fairly quickly though so I was only about twenty minutes late for work. But it wasn’t too bad for there on out. I had to kind of deep clean my car though. 

But hey! I lived!

Graduation Thoughts

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

“We ARE rich,” said Anne staunchly. “Why, we have sixteen years to our credit, and we’re happy as queens, and we’ve all got imaginations, more or less. Look at that sea, girls—all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen.” 

Let me tell you something. This quote is everything. Never have I felt something that so perfectly mirrors what I feel about looking back on high school. 

High school has been hard but it’s like any time period of your life. You take it: for the good and the bad. 

If I had any regrets in my high school experience, it would probably be the very thing that this quote seems to express. 

I wish I had spent less Monday’s wishing it were Friday. I wish it didn’t take me this long to figure out that I’m happy as a queen. 

But better now then never.  But I guess that’s just how life works. Especially when you have eighteen years to your credit. You finally realize how rich you are. And knowing this makes facing the uncertain future all the easier. 

It’s that Time of Year…

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

I came to a realization the other day. The phrase, “it’s that time of year” is suitable to proceed any sentence and make sense. 100% of the time you follow up what someone says with, “it’s that time of year”, they’ll nod in agreement and know exactly what you mean. Because apparently it’s ALWAYS that time of year. For example:

Person a: my banana went bad on the counter in just two days.
Person b: it’s that time of year.

Or

Person a: my Christmas tree shed all over my floor.
Person b: it’s that time of year.

It works all the time.

Why I Like Rain

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

It’s so calming

I will always treasure The memory of sitting on the porch, the cold air nipping at my nose and a warm drink in hand. Complete peace before the chaos of the day. 

And finally I can drown in something that isn’t my stupid thoughts of how things can go wrong and how I’m going to mess stuff up.  

And the smell. Good glory,  the smell is amazing. Fresh air, newly cleansed, crisp and so utterly perfect it almost stings to inhale. The smell of starting over. The smell the growth. The smell of everything becoming more alive amidst the storm. 

And The sound is music to my ears, more comforting than a thousand lullabies. The gentle, rhythmic thrum of rain on grass or on the roof, almost as if you are hearing the heartbeat of the sky. 

And it somehow comforts me as I watch the grey come and go. The heavy clouds come and leave. And no matter how chaotic and dark the storm, the sky still manages to pull itself together and becomes a vibrant shade of blue. It may take it an afternoon or even a few days but it will return to its original hue.