Evening Poems: Lost

Once I found home In a place  

A House of brick I couldn’t replace  

But in wind and rain, it crumbled down.  

Home in a Thing, cannot be found.  

Once I found home in a love 

But twas fleeting as a dove 

I came to realize then, when they left 

You cannot find home in what draws breath.  

Once I found home in the mirror 

In life I plunged forward with no fear 

But failure came, despite giving my best  

You cannot find home in your own chest.  

Then I found a home, in a voice  

The path that I had chosen was my own choice 

But there is one, who can renew, 

And transform even the likes of you.  

On this Earth, no home is found. 

Not in person, thing, or town.  

It is found in someone who offers grace.  

I’ll know home, when I see his face.  

Evening Poems: Tired of losing sleep over this

Regret 

Sounds like… 

Voices cracking in the middle of the explanation. 

Apologies that never get heard. 

Rehearsal but no performance.

Regret 

Looks like… 

Everything but their face, because you’re looking all around so you don’t have to meet their gaze. 

Silence that weighs heavier than any words ever could.

Absence.

Regret 

Tastes like… 

The same cup of coffee you’ve had every morning for the past three years. 

Evening Poems: The Ninth

How do you think a cat would spend its final life?

If it were old and on the ninth

I think a cat would spend its last days

Snoozing in the sun’s streaming rays.

Batting around that ball of lint

Dart around the hall, in a sprint.

And did I mention the

Sleeping. Sleeping. Sleeping.

And around the corners always peeping.

In short I would have to say,

That a cat would spend even its final day

Much how spent every year

Happy and without a single fear.

A cat on even its final minute.

Wouldn’t hesitate to then spend it

Dozing peacefully next to you, as your pet.

Because unlike you, he has no regret.

Evening Poem: I

I dont know why

I try and try

But theres no strength left in I

I turn left, and then turn right

I feel I am lost without a light

There is no strength left in I

I rely on that “I” so much.

So much that I start most sentences with an I.

I

I

I

Identity starts with I.

That’s on who I rely.

Me, myself, and I.

But not matter what I do

There is no strength left in I

At end of I

There is nothing.

Ironic.

Evening Poems: Velvet Hearts

I’m sorry, they lied to you
Your heart isnt made of gold
I’m afraid, It is a lie most commonly told.

Your heart is made of velvet, vulnerable and soft.
Those who boast invincible
Are liars who should be scoffed

It is unavoidable,
The tearing of the heart,
So when you’re left in pieces, it is often hard to know where to start.

But there is a tailor,
Whose trade it is to mend.
I’m sure If you’ll ask him, a hand he will lend.

And then you will be
Stitched together by mercy and grace.
And better off you’ll be, in this world you must face.

Evening Poems: Its not that I hate myself, I’m just tired of my own crap

It’s kind of sad.
I dont know when exactly but I think I stopped enjoying my own company.
I dont enjoy being alone anymore.
It’s been forever since I’ve enjoyed my thoughts and told myself stories before falling asleep.
My head hasn’t been a nice place to be lately.
Things weigh down heavier than I remember.
And I’m just so tired of myself. Which is unfortunate as she’s the only person in this world that I’m guaranteed to have.
I dont know when exactly I started being uncomfortable with being alone. Maybe it was a slow sort of process.
But it makes sense now why I have so many hobbies. Things that can distract me from the company that I’m keeping.
I dont particularly hate myself but she’s a very exhausting person to be around.
And so I’m tired all the time.

Evening Poems: Battles

I love you
Coming from the wrong person
Those words feel like a weapon
And twenty swords drawn, aimed at your heart,
Just waiting for the precise moment to thrust.
You do not trust the person you love to love you back in a gentle way
A way that is good for your soul.
No, they are the type of person that will hit you, all while dripping good intentions like blood from a wound.
Punch you in the stomach while softly telling you that you are their world.
And the tragedy is, they often mean it. But cannot see beyond their own red hands.
The special pain of oblivious lovers.
Am I cursed to love the ignorant?

Perhaps so. For you are a poison that smells of Roses and I drink you in all the same.

Evening Poems: Victorious

The many victories of a healthy mind
Are In the small things I’ve come to find.
Nails no longer bitten to nubs
Flesh and blood and hangnail stubs.
I buy myself a coffee with little guilt.
And By midmorning, I no longer wilt.
Hunger is something I actually feel.
Food can be enjoyed, senses real.
I can sleep and wake with the sun.
And I feel full when the day is done.
Even if I haven’t exactly changed the world.
I was not lost in a sickening whirl.
I saw my coffee thick with cream.
Walked barefoot in a little stream.
I saw the rain fall in a mist.
Along the pane the water kissed.
These things weren’t lost on me- I saw them all.
I couldnt before- I was too busy with my fall.
These are the victories of a healthy mind.
All the little things that you can find.