Insults to Keep up your Sleeve Part 2

Because swearing is boring.

  1. You Cold Corndog

Listen, corndogs are kind of iffy anyway. Especially the oven made ones. They’re especially bad when they’re soggy and the hot dog and the breading seem to be two totally separate entities with the bread sliding off.

2. You Crusty Toothpaste Tube

You can thank my brother for the inspiration on this one. I mean, does it REALLY take that much of your precious 12 year old boy time to put the dumb tooth paste cap back on the tube???

3. You Goblin

For if you’re feeling real whimisical.

5. You Spork

Because sporks are supposed to do two things but in actuality does neither of them at all. Often like my siblings.

6. Cough Syrup

Lovely, simply because its off the wall but obviously insulting.

7. You greasy door handle

You can just feel this one.

8. Haggis

A Scottish dish consisting of a sheep’s or calf’s offal mixed with suet, oatmeal, and seasoning and boiled in a bag, traditionally one made from the animal’s stomach. And the perfect insult for a not so savory individual.

9. You Limp Lettuce

Because the joys of Alliteration.

Unpopular Opinions of Mine

Unpopular Opinions of mine

Country music, by large, I find not very enjoyable. 

Chewing with your mouth open is like the vilest thing and it will actually make me dislike you a little bit. I know it’s petty but I’m sorry.

Pop music isn’t that bad sometimes when it’s not annoying. 

Fast food doesn’t taste awful as long as I don’t have tons of it because then it’s kind of gross. 

Rainy days are the best because you can cuddle up in a blanket and drink warm stuff and be happy. 

Musicals can be annoying sometimes. 

Corny shows and movies are actually relaxing to watch. 

Forgiveness doesn’t automatically = everything was the same as before. 

I think cats are better then dogs. 

I like introverts and homeschoolers but I’ll be honest, I think by large, public schoolers tend to be more inclusive.

People who practice inaction get on my nerves every now and then. 

Optimism and pessimism both have their place but both can be stupid in access. 

There are sometimes points in life where giving up is okay. 

British accents are cool and all but SCOTTISH. 

Pencils are the best art medium. 

As much as I have night owl pride, I wish I was a morning person. It seems more productive. (While being a night owl is more enjoyable). 

Buzzards are nice birds. They’re environment smart and without them we’d have corpses everywhere. Recycle!

Coffee is good (with lots of creamer)

Cake isn’t really that great. 

Dark chocolate is gross. 

Sleeping in socks is awful. 

People who are slobs get on my nerves. 

You can be a good friend and still not support someone in everything they do. 

Forgiving someone as quickly as possible isn’t really smart. (Let me explain, I think people just need time to process their emotions and if they just smooth it over, they really haven’t put any thought into their forgiveness which can lead to future hard feelings because you haven’t REALLY forgiven them.)

Oreo cream is nasty. 

Popcorn is like the best dessert ever. 

And bbq sauce is kind of gross too. Like sloppy joes and meat loaf. Blech.