Tag: personalblog

That time I started writing a Self-Help Book

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Did you guys know that I started a self-help book at one point in time? It sounds goofy, but it was on a topic I had become passionate about as it personally affected me. This, of course, as this title suggests, was the art of living alone. Guys, when I tell you I struggled…

I grew up a fairly introverted person (at least I thought anyways). I liked playing alone. I didn’t have tons of friends in middle school, which generally didn’t bother me too much. I liked having my own space and keeping it nice and neat. I thought moving out would be a cinch.

After a brief stint with a roommate, I was living alone. Which was amazing! Until it wasn’t. And then I started writing this book and got 5 chapters in before abandoning it. I was actually revisiting it recently as I was cleaning some files off my computer and started rereading. While there are already some edits I think I would make (gosh, I was melodramatic at this time), I did enjoy the trip back in time especialy now that I’m married and definitely NOT living alone. So I thought I’d share the first chapter with you here. Let me know what you guys think and if I should bother resurrecting this long-dead project! So here we have it! Chapter one of…

How to not go Crazy (And other notes on living alone)

Introduction

The windchime outside my window is a reminder that there’s a world beyond these four walls, but some days, it’s hard to remember that I’m part of it. Inside my apartment, the air hangs heavy with the kind of silence that amplifies every creak, every hum, and every thought with nowhere else to go. The fridge drones away in the kitchen. The coffee machine sighs and grumbles like a mechanical beast awakening from slumber as my coffee drips into the mug. This is my life as a woman in her 20s, living alone.

In my newly found sanctuary, I find myself night after night, wrestling with thoughts that only seem to show their ugly face when the house is still. They whisper about the coming future, taunting me with the “what ifs” that I am far too familiar with. The apartment that is filled with the laughter of friends and family during the day sighs with the weight of my loneliness when everyone eventually parts ways.

It was on one of these nights that I started a list. I can see it clearly: me, lying in bed, the phone’s glow illuminating the darkened room, fingers poised over the keyboard. The title was simple and direct. I just want to be good at being Alone. It was a declaration of intent, a manifesto, a silent shout into the void that was my apartment. I’d uttered it out loud many times, often to myself, sometimes to close friends, my mother, and my sisters. Truth be told, they’re probably tired of hearing it. I feared that if I didn’t get better at this, they’d stop asking me how I was.

But they didn’t, and they haven’t. They still care. They still ask. They still listen. It’s a testament to the most important lesson I’ve learned in my solitary living: I am alone, but I am also not alone. Nights may be long, but, as corny as it sounds, morning always comes.

Chapter 1: Learn to Cook for One

I began jotting.

Learn to Cook. Have a Crock Pot. Collect Recipes.

Then underneath:

This is not only a practical skill to learn but a point I want to prove. People often equate companionship with a shared meal. I just want to show myself that I can be satisfied. I want to show myself that I can take care of her.

Cooking for one is an art form. It is one that requires patience, foresight and even a bit of creativity. It’s about finding joy in those little victories. The comforting warmth of a meal prepared with care as well as the knowledge that you’ve provided for yourself. It’s not just about feeding your body; it’s also about feeding your soul. It’s about telling oneself that you deserve to invest time into your meals even if they’re just for you and you alone.

In the beginning, it was hard. I found myself standing in the grocery store, staring at the aisles of food that seemed designed for families or couples. Bulk packaging, family-sized portions were my biggest opposition at first. Nothing seemed to fit my life. But I quickly realized that cooking for one is about more than just cutting recipes in half. It’s about learning to see the kitchen as a place of possibility rather than yet another area of life that highlights my loneliness.

The first dish I mastered was a simple one—beef stew. There is something deeply comforting about a bowl of homemade stew, especially on those days when the world feels too big and scary. I made it in my trusty crock pot, the slow cooker that has become my closest ally in this solo culinary journey. The process was meditative, and I loved every bit of it from The slow chopping of vegetables, to the seasoning of the broth, to the slow simmering that filled my apartment. It made my humble abode actually feel like a home.

As I stirred the stew, I realized that cooking for one shouldn’t’ be a chore. It’s should be about savoring the moment, taking the time to care for yourself in a way that’s both practical and deeply loving. It should be about being present. There’s a satisfaction that comes from knowing that you can sustain yourself, that you can create something yummy (even if its only for you!)

I began to experiment more in the kitchen by trying new recipes and adapting them to fit my needs. I learned how to freeze portions for later and how to make a meal that would last for days without losing its appeal. I found joy in the ritual of cooking and in the simple pleasure of feeding myself well.

Over time, I elaborated on this list item even more.

  • See grocery shopping as a little solo adventure and not a chore.
  • Invest in good ingredients sometimes; don’t be afraid to spend a little $$$ on yourself sometimes
  • Don’t be afraid to try something new.

Cooking for one became a way to reclaim my independence and to remind myself that I am enough, just as I am. It was no longer a task to be dreaded, but a skill to be honed. It was a form of self-care that nourished not just my body, but my spirit.

And so, I encourage you to do the same. Find your favorite recipes, experiment with new ones, and most importantly, savor the experience. This is your space, your life. Take the time to make it delicious.

Have a Crock Pot.

Of all the kitchen appliances you could own, the humble crock pot might just be the most useful when living alone. At first glance, it’s easy to overlook. I historically disliked it when I lived at home. It was a bit bulky as well as a bit old-fashioned (very reminiscent of my grandmother’s kitchen). But don’t let appearances fool you. This unassuming appliance is your secret weapon in the art of solo living.

Why a crock pot? Because of its simplicity, convenience, and the power to transform basic ingredients into something that feels like coming home. When you’re living alone, time can either stretch or shrink depending on the day, and a crock pot gives you the flexibility to feed yourself without being tethered to the stove or forced to babysit a dish all day.

Imagine this: you wake up in the morning, knowing it’s going to be one of those long, exhausting days. The last thing you want to do when you get home is cook. We’ve all been there. But the good news is, with a crock pot, all you need is a few minutes of preparation. Throw in your ingredients—maybe some chicken, vegetables, broth, and spices. Then set it, and forget it, sister. As you go about your day, your meal is quietly simmering away, filling your home with the comforting aroma of something cozy and yummy. By the time you return, dinner is ready, and you’ve already put all the work in at the front end of the process and even then it wasn’t that much.

Having a crock pot isn’t just about convenience (though that is an enormous plus). It’s also about consistency. When you’re cooking for one, it’s easy to fall into the habit of eating quick, unhealthy meals or skipping dinner altogether. I know the latter was a trap I found myself falling into far too often. It came to a point where I had to tell myself that no, chips and salsa don’t count for an entire meal. My eating habits were bad and all over the place. Another plus of the crock pot is that encourages you to take the time to plan ahead as well as create meals that will carry you through the week. It’s a tool that helps you establish a routine and a rhythm in your life that grounds you when everything else feels uncertain. It helped add a certain level of dependency to my meal plan.

Next, let’s talk about versatility. Whether you’re in the mood for a rich beef stew, tender pulled pork, or even a comforting mac and cheese, the crock pot can do it all. It’s particularly great for making meals in batches, which means you can cook it once and eat multiple meals. This is a lifesaver for those days when you simply don’t have the energy to prepare anything but still want something home-cooked. It isn’t just limited to soups and stews.

Another benefit of using a crock pot is that it’s incredibly forgiving. Unlike other cooking methods that require precise timing and constant attention, the crock pot is more laid back. You can experiment with different ingredients and spices without worrying too much about getting it wrong. The long cooking process melds flavors together in a way that makes even the simplest of ingredients taste like you’ve been slaving over the stove for hours.

And let’s not forget the cleanup. As you may be all too aware of, cleaning up is up to you and you alone. The last thing you want is a sink full of dishes to deal with after work. With a crock pot, you can often make your entire meal in one pot, saving you both time and effort. A quick wash and rinse and it’s ready to go!

In the end, I view my crock pot as more than an appliance. It’s a companion on my journey of living alone. It is a simple but amazing tool that makes the everyday task of meal prep feel a little less daunting. Please take this as a reminder that you deserve to eat well, even if you’re the only one at the table. So, invest in a good one, and let it become a reliable, old friend.

Collect Recipes.

In learning to cook, recipes can serve as more than just instructions for making food—they can be threads that connect you to the people and places you love. When you’re standing in your kitchen, cooking a meal from a recipe handwritten by your mother, it’s as if she’s right there with you, sharing a moment that transcends the physical distance between you.

Collecting recipes isn’t just about building a repertoire of dishes; it’s about creating a personal archive of memories, stories, and connections. Each recipe you gather is a piece of your history, a way to carry the warmth of loved ones into your daily life. Your mother’s handwriting on a worn recipe card, the smudges of flour and sauce, the little notes in the margins—they all tell a story. They speak of her care, her love, and the countless meals she prepared with you in mind.

When you cook from these recipes, you’re not just feeding yourself; you’re participating in a ritual that spans generations. It’s a way of saying, “I’m here, and so are they.” In a way, your kitchen becomes a meeting place for the people who’ve shaped you, even if they’re miles away or are no longer with us.

It’s not just family recipes that carry this power either. Recipes from friends should also hold a special place in your collection. Each one is a token of friendship, a shared experience that lives on long after the meal has ended. When a friend shares their favorite recipe with you, they’re offering a piece of themselves, a gesture of affection. And when you cook that recipe, you’re reminded of the times you’ve spent together along with the bond you share.

Just think about it! How cute is it that humans not only developed unique ways to prepare their food and nutrients to please their palette but also feel a sense of identity with these aforementioned methods? We record these processes and share them with those close to us. Sharing recipes is an innately human experience so please take part of it!

Building a recipe collection is also a way to create new connections, to expand your culinary horizons. You might come across a recipe online or in a cookbook that intrigues you, something you’ve never tried before. As you experiment with it, tweak it, make it your own. Who knows? Maybe it’ll become one of your regular meals and something you can one day pass on to others.

In this way, your recipe collection becomes a living, evolving document of your life. It’s a mix of the old and the new, the familiar and the adventurous. It can become a reflection of who you’ve known and where you’ve been. I’d like to think that as I add to my growing collection of recipes, I am also collecting memories, experiences and a sense of community.

When I’m feeling particularly alone, pulling out one of these cherished recipes can be a huge comfort. It’s a way of reaching out to the people who care about me, even when they’re not physically present in my small one-bedroom apartment. The act of cooking becomes a way of reconnecting with my roots, of grounding myself in the love that surrounds me, even in the quiet moments of solitude.

So, take the time to gather these recipes, to write them down, to keep them close. Whether it’s your mother’s famous apple pie, your friend’s go-to pork recipe, or a killer casserole recipe that you discovered on your own, each one is a reminder that you are never truly alone. Allow your recipe collection to be more than just a list of meals. Let it be a physical testament of the enduring power of community and the connections that sustain us, even when we’re cooking for one.

Romanticizing being an Author over actually Writing: A Discussion of Age of Scorpius

~ Brooke F. ~ 3 Comments

Tiktok being in my life has brought me very little positives if I’m being real. A time suck at worst, most days, an overwhelming source of writing tips and information I can barely process at best. That being said, it did make me aware of an interesting situation that was unfolding on the booktok side of the app. I’m going to give you a quick recap if you’re not aware of what has been going down, maybe because you are spending your time actually being productive and are NOT chronically online. Sooooo…. let’s get started.

Ok. So. Our story begins with Audra Winter, an aspiring author who through her various tik toks promoting her book, amassed an audience eagerly awaiting the release of her first book, Age of Scorpius. Her world was based on a magic zodiac system that I will not be delving into at this time, but just know, people were excited. I think naturally, people love to sort stuff, especially when it comes to book factions. I think that’s one of the secrets behind the Hunger Games or Harry Potter success so perhaps the same thing was occurring here. It also didn’t hurt that she had an amazing team of artists on her side. She commissioned character artwork, helping people visualize the characters and the world and, as someone who has seen this artwork, it is GOOD.

So the stage is set. Everyone is pumped and she announces she’s going to be publishing her book. Pre-orders come flooding in. It’s a success before it has even found its way into the hands of readers. But then it did…

Age of Scorpius received overwhelmingly negative reviews for poor writing, plot, and editing, despite its viral marketing. Due to the backlash, Audra is reportedly re-editing the book for a new edition, as the first version is no longer available. Wow. Yeah.

So, what happened here exactly? Is the book that bad? According to the overwhelming majority of reviews, yes. And from the passages I have read, also yes. The book reads as a first, unedited draft. I’m not going to pretend I have not produced work similar to Audra. No one is really taking issue really with the work she has produced here, except for the fact that she chose to publish it, expected people to pay for this work, and then had a rather defensive reaction when negative reviews came flooding in. Honestly, her continual reaction to criticism seems to be single-handedly keeping the discussion surrounding this debacle going.

People got what they had paid money for, true, but as paying customers who were dissatisfied with the product, they had the right to leave their review, bad or good. End of story. I don’t think many people would disagree on this point so I’m not really interested in pursuing it further.

What I am interested in in this scenario is what Audra seems to represent here. Their social media illustrates someone very proud of their entrepreneurship and a desire to assemble a whole team and multimedia studio based around their work. All before their book actually came out, mind you. It seemed Audra had built in her head this idea of what her author status would lead to. That everyone would love her book and she would continue to see success… clearly she was getting to ahead of herself, though, because step 1 of the plan was fumbled. Step 1 being writing a good book!

Age of Scorpius read as rushed. It did not get the time, care, or attention the story truly needed. It seemed Audra’s eyes were so set on appearing to be a successful author that they forgot that in order to get there, they needed to make something worth reading. They liked the idea of having a end product more than actually writing. They lost sight of the craft. I think that’s something we can all learn from.

Social media commodifies everything. Everything gets reduced to an aesthetic and/or brand. This process can apply to our hobbies, and then suddenly we are “performing” our hobby and not actually DOING the hobby or enjoying it for that matter. In a world that is filled with terms like “hustle” and a “be your own boss” mindset, it’s easy to see any hobby as a business or a means to an end. We should not be focusing on this when it comes to true craft. Our main goal should simply be to get better. Improve our writing and maybe, at the end of it all, produce something worth other people’s time to read.

If you are interested in further deep dives on the Audra Winter controversy, I’m sure you can find plenty of videos on it on youtube (I should know, I’ve listened to multiple). Mostly the point I want to get across in this post is simple: We are all capable of this. Social media makes this mistake easier and even encourages it. Don’t give in. Get good. Get better. Slowly and steady wins the race.

TikTok is Bad for your Writing

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

And in other news, water is wet!

Please excuse the obvious titling. In truth, it’s not just TikTok specifically, though, that has been the newest catalyst for this problem I’m experiencing regarding social media and its relationship to the creative process. You might be wondering: what problem exactly am I referring to? What is there to be said on this topic that hasn’t already been reiterated numerous times online? Social media is distracting and, therefore, we become too distracted to create. Duh. We all know this.

And yes, this much is true. Social media is horrible for our attention spans, but I’m going to take a break from railing against this specific issue and focus on another one that I have personally experienced this month. This is the issue of inspiration overload and the resulting creative paralysis that ensues.

I love a good Pinterest scroll. This was my first social media of choice as a teen. I felt like it helped me get started on a project by getting my brain churning with endless inspiration. It had it all! Writing prompts, concept art, writing playlists, tips, life hacks—everything!!!

For the most part, I walked away from my Pinterest scrolls feeling positive at this time. I’d scroll with a specific goal in mind, further develop an idea, pin a few pins (or even create a new board for this one idea), and then walk away within 10–15 minutes. Done!

I don’t know where I went wrong… well, I have a guess, so let’s discuss.

There came a point where my social media habits became less orderly. As an adult, school took up less time, I got on additional social media, and simultaneously, those platforms became more attention-grabbing and endless. I remember a time when you could scroll Instagram and it would eventually give you a message like, “That’s it! You’ve seen everything new that there is to see! Now go do something else!”

It definitely no longer does this.

You can scroll and scroll and scroll. This is true of every social media platform right now.
“It’s for inspiration!” I’d say. After all, it was writing-related content that I was consuming. After a point, however (whether due to the nature of the content or the sheer amount of it), I found it very easy to slip into the role of consumer as opposed to creator. Ideally, you should be able to do both, but that does require a certain level of balance that feels nearly impossible to obtain. What is that magic amount of time to scroll BookTok or Pinterest concept art before the very practice itself becomes a creativity-eating monster?

What I found was that after consuming copious amounts of writing content, I was hit with this intense feeling of creative paralysis. I recalled the gazillions of writing tips and do’s and don’ts. I recalled all that I should be doing. Show, don’t tell. Use metaphors. Don’t use metaphors. Use them sparingly. Adverbs are evil. Adjectives are evil. Passive voice is okay. Passive voice is evil. Develop your world entirely before writing. It will develop as you write, and then you have to rewrite it all. Put your character development above worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is key. And blah, blah, blah, blah.

I can’t write and I suck. That’s the conclusion of today’s writing session.

You see, we weren’t made to have this many voices speaking into our lives, much less our creative process.

At some point, inspiration stops being fuel and starts being noise. And while social media loves to market itself as a wellspring of creativity, it rarely tells us when to stop drinking. Creativity, at least for me, doesn’t thrive in a crowded room full of opinions shouting over one another. It needs quiet. It needs boredom. It needs the uncomfortable stretch of sitting with an idea long enough for it to become something mine.

So maybe the solution isn’t cutting out inspiration entirely, but treating it with a little more intention and a lot more restraint. Fewer voices. Fewer rules. More trust. Because the work doesn’t happen in the scroll. It happens when you finally close the app, sit down, and let yourself write badly, imperfectly, and freely again.

So happy late new year! Let’s make stuff again and give it a rest. The mantra I want to embody this year is Less is more. No more drinking out of a fire hose. Let’s try to think of it more as taking a sip from a well. Slow and steady.

The Ultimate Guide to Using AI to Write a Novel

~ Brooke F. ~ 6 Comments

Hello, readers! I’ve got a useful “writing” guide for you today. I realize that I’ve dedicated this blog to writing tips on how to better one’s craft, so what’s more on theme with that mission than making a guide on how to use AI to accelerate your “writing” process! No, not editing. Writing. The writing itself. You read that right. Read on to figure out how you can craft a best seller without typing a single paragraph of prose and bothering with the whole pesky process of… actually thinking up original ideas and how to effectively communicate that to your readers.

In short, in today’s rapidly accelerating digital age, writers have unprecedented tools at their disposal. With the rise of artificial intelligence, crafting an entire manuscript has never been easier. Why rely on your own voice, perspective, or hard-earned life experience when a silicon parrot can spit back something resembling prose?

Step 1: Pick Your Genre

Choose a genre you love deeply. Something personal. Something meaningful. Then immediately ignore all of that and ask AI to brainstorm “10 hot book ideas in any genre that sells.” Even try “trending book themes” if you’re at a loss for what moral you should convey in this piece. Morality should be determined by mas market, which is what your AI companion will reflect.

Step 2: Prompt the AI… a Lot.

Type a prompt. Then rewrite it fourteen times because the AI keeps misunderstanding your “tone.”
(It’s almost like… writing? Except somehow worse.)

“Make it more whimsical.”
“But also somber.”
“But also funny, but not too funny.”
“And can it sound like me even though I haven’t written a word?”

Step 3: Marvel at How Fast the Words Appear

After all, this is the age of INSTANT gratification. Our writing process should evolve to follow suit. Books should be written in the time it takes to make instant oatmeal. That’s how you get a meaningful piece of work worth sharing with the world.

Step 4: Experience the Sudden Realization That This… Is Mediocre

Realize that this work is nothing but a Frankenstein of everything that has come before it. With extra emphasis on what’s been trending in writing in the last 5 years. As everyone knows, literature peaked when Romantasy Slop started being churned out and hitting shelves. These books are all so similar, you can’t quite remember if you’ve read them before or not, but that’s alright, the indulgent story beats are comforting if not entirely formulaic and overdone… right? We read for comfort. Comfort should always be a priority in literature at all times. At. All. Times. Do NOT present anything discomforting or something that could be perceived as causing your reader to THINK.

Wait, what we’re we talking about again.

Step 5: Denial or Rewrite

You’re at a crossroads at this step. You can continue to tell yourself it’s fine and send it off for publishing anyway, or you can attempt to salvage your AI slop by editing. A lot. Please, by all means, continue editing. Realize every sentence feels like it was handcrafted by someone who has never tasted food, felt sunlight, or endured a junior-high breakup. Rewrite one paragraph. Then two.

Suddenly, you’ve rewritten the entire chapter.

Suddenly, you’re rewriting the entire book.

Congratulations! You have now done the exact amount of work you were trying to avoid in the first place. You’ll tell yourself this is simply “refining your AI-assisted draft,” but really you’ve rewritten 90% of it because your actual human brain finally woke up and said, “No. This is wrong. It sounds wrong and it’s not good.”

Step 6: Face the Existential Crisis

Ask yourself why you thought skipping the workout would get you stronger.
Then look at AI and realize it’s not your writing partner. It can’t write for you in the same way it can go on a run for you, make a call to your mother for you, can’t eat healthy for you, can’t laugh for you, can’t love people for you, can’t, can’t, can’t.

The shortcut is so tempting, and AI companies will lead you to believe that the possibilities of AI are endless. Sure, there are uses to be explored, but AI is not endless, nor should it be. AI will never write a novel for you. AI will never be a human for you. It is in its name. It is against its very nature. You are human. Writing is in YOUR nature.

Author’s note:

This is not an ultimate condemnation of AI. More so a thought exercise to make sure we’re not using it irresponsibly. I’m quite curious how AI can function as an editing assistant or writing prompt generator. But the sudden flood of AI slop books on Amazon, where not a single word was penned by a being with a brain, has me clutching my pearls a bit. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below, AI in writing has become a common topic on this blog as it invades the writing world, for better worse, and I’m always happy to hear others’ thoughts on these changes.

k byeeee! Thanks for reading!

How to Be More Whimsical (Without Moving to a Forest)

~ Brooke F. ~ 6 Comments

Sometimes life feels like a never-ending list of emails and meal-prepping and remembering your passwords. And while that’s all very adult and responsible of us, sometimes you just want to inject a little whimsy into the day. I’m not talking wearing a tutu to work of course (unless you’re into that? Idk where you work). I mean tiny, delightful oddities that make life feel like a storybook for a second.

So here are some specific ways to be more whimsical. Even if you’re a practical person with bills to pay and a Google Calendar that rules your life. Aright, here we gooo:

Start carrying around one overly specific item for no clear reason.
A vintage skeleton key. A feather quill. A deck of cards. Let people ask questions. Refuse to explain. Mystery is 30% of whimsy.

Host a “mismatched tea moment” once a week.
No guests needed. Just you, an oddly paired mug and saucer, maybe a cookie, maybe a journal. Bonus points if you wear a shawl like you’re some mysterious wizard woman.

Leave secret messages for your future self.
Tuck tiny notes into your coat pocket or inside a book you’ll eventually re-read. “You are loved. Also, buy ice cream.” It’s like time-traveling kindness.

Assign your day a genre.
Decide that today is a romantic comedy, or a slow-burn fantasy epic, or a chaotic detective story. Suddenly your coffee run is a plot point, and your bus ride has cinematic tension.

Make a “soundtrack” for your day.
Start your morning with French café jazz, switch to dramatic classical when you do emails, then blast 2000s bops while you make dinner. Be the main character in the most eccentric indie film ever made.

Pick a word of the week and use it dramatically.
Not a normal word. Something like “bewildered” or “henceforth.” Use it in casual conversation.

Choose a random object as your daily talisman.
A marble, a mini pinecone, a button. Carry it like it has secret powers.

Add a secret ingredient to something you cook just because it feels magical.
Nutmeg in your eggs. Rose water in your lemonade. Not because it’s gourmet, but because it feels like a potion. Say “a dash of enchantment” while doing it.

Tell the time like you’re in a fantasy novel.
“It is the second hour past dawn, and I have yet to answer my emails.”
“It is nearly the witching hour—I must fetch snacks.”

Hide something for a stranger to find.
A doodle. A quote. A “congratulations, you found this” note under a library chair or taped to the back of a street sign. It’s low-stakes mischief. Good for the soul.

Rename your calendar events.
Instead of “Dentist Appointment,” call it “Royal Council with the Tooth Kingdom.” Instead of “Grocery Store,” try “Foraging Quest.” Suddenly errands are… thrilling?

Go out dressed like a book character.
Not full cosplay. Just a little nod. A scarf like Miss Marple. Overalls like Anne of Green Gables. Boots like a pirate.

Hopefully these will add a bit of sparkle to your routine!

A Beginner’s Guide to Finishing Stuff (From a Chronic Abandoner of Various Projects)

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Hi, my name is Brooke, and I’m a chronic abandoner. Not of people (I promise), but of projects, books, hobbies, that one prom dress I swore I’d make in an attempt to teach myself how to sew… you get the idea I think.

Finishing things has never been my spiritual gift. I’m the queen of a passionate beginnings, you see. I romanticize the planning stage. I make Pinterest boards. I buy cute supplies. I tell at least three people, “I’m so excited about this!” And then somewhere between “this is so fun” and “this is taking longer than I thought,” the energy fizzles out. The end result, I’m sure you can vividly pictures. Shelves of crafting supplies. Half-finished books in word docs galore. A USB stocked with outlines for projects that never quite made it. And not a lot to show for it!

But lately, I’ve been trying something new: actually finishing things. Ok, not everything. But SOME things. Like my poetry book. Like my journals. Like that book series I forgot about. The Prom dress still needs to be hemmed though I’m afraid. We’re not all perfect.

From all this “finishing” going on, I have learned a few things in the process. Disclaimer though, I still have more unfinished projects than finished ones so DEFINITELY take what I say with a pinch-no, a CUP of salt. So! With that disclaimer on the table, let’s get rollin’.

1. Start Smaller Than You Think You Need To

I used to set goals like “write a book,” “learn to quilt,” or “organize my entire life in one weekend.” Funnily enough, these goals would often occur on a late night during the weekend when I was suddenly zapped with ambition. These are not goals. These are lofty, unsustainable, and vague finish lines that realistically take ages to actually cross if ever crossed at all.

Now I aim to “write for 10 minutes,” “sew one line,” or “put away the laundry mountain (just the socks).” Turns out finishing is a lot more achievable when you’re not setting yourself up for theatrical failure. Be realistic and be kind to yourself.

2. Romanticize the Middle

We romanticize beginnings and endings. The start is all fresh notebooks and adrenaline. The end is the glorious Instagram post or the satisfying checkmark. But the middle? That’s where things get boring, awkward, and full of self-doubt.

If you can learn to love the middle and make a vibe out of it, throw on a playlist, light a candle, celebrate the slog, Congrats! You’re halfway there. Progress is still progress, even if nothing is complete just yet. Celebrate more than just the finish-line.

3. Keep a “Done” List

Everyone loves a to-do list, but I’ve started keeping a done list. Every time I finish something (even the tiniest task), I jot it down. Finished a book? On the list. Replied to that one email that’s been haunting me since Tuesday? Absolutely going on the list. Wrote 300 words on a story I’ve been ignoring for months? That’s going in bold and underlined.

There’s something deeply satisfying about seeing all the little wins pile up. It proves that yes, I do finish things, just not always on the dramatic scale I imagined.

4. Stop Waiting to Feel “Ready”

Finishing stuff isn’t about being ready. It’s about deciding to move even when the ending isn’t in sight or planned out. Waiting until I feel motivated has kept me in procrastination purgatory more times than I can count. I’ve learned to accept that I won’t feel like finishing most things but if I just start walking, the motivation catches up eventually.

(Usually after snacks. Snacks are the ultimate motivator.) (And maybe a nap. Naps are important too.) (Honestly, just make sure you’re taking care of your basic needs before you take any of this advice).

5. Embrace the “Imperfectly Done”

Not everything you finish has to be amazing. It just has to be done. The first poem you actually finish might sound weird and cringy. The painting might look better in your head than on canvas. The short story might never get published. But hey! It exists. That’s pretty neat!

AND it’s done. And that’s worth celebrating. You saw it through. You beat the voice that said, “Why bother?”

And with every imperfectly finished thing, you build the muscle. You prove to yourself that you can finish projects. Even if it takes longer than you originally intended (when DOESN’T it???). Even if you abandoned it once and came back weeks later with coffee and renewed determination. Still worth throwing some confetti. Perfection is NOT a prerequisite for appreciation or celebration. (I find myself constantly yelling this at myself mentally).

So here’s your permission slip: Go finish something tiny today. A draft. A to-do item. That sandwich. (Never let a sandwich go unfinished. We eat our crusts around here) You don’t have to be perfect, fast, or even consistent.

You just have to keep going, little by little.

From one recovering abandoner to another, I believe in you.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go add this finished blog post to my list!!

How to Rebuild an Attention Span

~ Brooke F. ~ 1 Comment

In the digital era, where the currency of our time is measured in fleeting moments and short form content and the ting! of notifications are ever present, the art of focus has become as elusive. Our attention spans have been whittled down to where we can barely settle down long enough to read a paragraph, leaving us scattered and unfulfilled as we leap from tab to tab, app to app, in a never-ending quest for the next dopamine hit. And yet, there are a few of us, who are waking up to the startling effects of a shattered attention span. Though recognizing the problem and fixing it are two totally different issues.

I am far from perfect on this journey to rebuild my attention span. My blog is proof of that. If you’ve kept up with my posts at all, you’ve probably heard my bemoaning my constant struggle to put the phone down. I have been delighted that in the recent year, my efforts have been fruitful. I enjoy reading again. It was a bit of a trick finding the correct genre but it’s also been a consistent effort of mentally yelling at myself when I find myself doom scrolling. But now that I’ve achieved this minor victory, this seems like a good time to impart what little I feel I’ve learned in the process of rebuilding my attention span. It’s been a slow process that will continue to be a struggle in this digital age but the joy of reading cozy mysteries in the evening to wind down for bed has encouraged me to say the least.

So, without any more stalling, here is my tips on rebuilding a scattered, tattered attention span:

1. Rethinking your Night Time Routine

Often what has been motivating me to move further and further away from the short-form content consuming life has been this anxious, awful feeling that I get when I finish scrolling. This feeling was by far the worst at the end of the day where I settled into bed and would find myself scrolling for…who knows what?

I’m winding down, I’d tell myself though, I realize now, that I was winding myself up! Scrolling doesn’t relax you in the same way a book or even a comfort movie might. You still paying attention to too much. And I don’t have to remind anybody that it doesn’t take much scrolling to find some bad news that’s infiltrates your mind and messes with your faith in humanity or the world (if there was much of that left anyway?)

This routine, like any routine, is training your brain. In this case, it’s training your brain to think and continue to think even long after you’re ready to be drifting off to sleep. Replace this habit with something entirely different. If you can’t sit through a regular schmegular book, maybe grab a magazine or a poetry book (or something less intimidating and more short). Try and read in some form. This will train your brain to focus on ONE thing and will better relax you for rest.

2. On a Similar Note, Don’t reach for your phone first thing

Still guilty on this front sometimes. But if you do find yourself reaching for your phone, try and replace scrolling with maybe a quick read of an article you like or a quick WORDLE. When that’s done, get up. Though, I will say, in an ideal world, one wouldn’t be reaching for their phone at all, but baby steps! I think, overall, the goal is to not start your day scrolling.

I eventually want to personally progress towards reading a devotional or something else to start my day. Yaknow, something that doesn’t involve my phone BUT we’ll get there eventually. Just not there yet. It’s nice to have something to wake my brain up with and right now that’s a quick crossword that happens to be on my phone.

3. Set Boundaries

Designate certain times of the day as “sacred,” where you commit to a distraction-free zone. This could be the first hour of your morning (like what I was talking about in the above point), where you greet the day with a cup of tea and a good book, or the final hour before bed, where you bid adieu to the screens and let your brain unwind with a gentle stretch or a page-turning novel. These pockets of time, like stepping stones, will help you cross the river of distraction. Each small pocket of time is training your brain, no matter how small. It builds over time. Remember, your brain is a muscle and becomes stronger with consistency and patterns of thinking and focus.

4. Adjust Your Mindset

Try and pivot your brain into a mono-tasking type of mindset. In a world that glorifies multitasking, this can be almost a rebellious act of sorts. Yet, studies have consistently shown that our brains are not wired to juggle multiple tasks efficiently. Instead, we pay a heavy cognitive tax, switching between tasks with the grace of a clumsy octopus who does everything but none of it well. We forget little things. We’re hardly ever present. Our sense of time degrades. And when it comes time for us to focus on something important, it’s a constant battle to not check and see what else is happening in the world through a screen.

Embrace the beauty of single-tasking. Choose one activity and commit to it fully, giving it your undivided attention. This could mean turning off notifications during work hours, using tools that block distracting websites, or even adopting the Pomodoro Technique, where you dedicate chunks of time to a single task followed by short breaks. As you train your brain to focus on one thing at a time, you’ll find that your productivity (likely) skyrockets and your sense of satisfaction deepens.

One thing I found is when I’m getting ready to go somewhere, the time it takes is nearly cut in half if I’m not using my phone. But, if I’m watching a youtube video while I do my makeup or find myself watching reels while I tie my shoes, these actions take a lot longer and I am moving MUCH slower. And my attention is so scattered, I don’t even realize it till I glance at the time and shoot! Running late again!

5. Practice being still

Next, incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. This ancient practice has been shown to be a potent antidote to the fragmented attention that plagues our modern lives. Begin with short sessions of meditation, stillness, or deep-breathing exercises, gradually increasing the duration as you become more adept. Mindfulness is not about clearing the mind entirely but rather about becoming aware of the thoughts that flit through it like butterflies in a garden. Observe them without judgment, and gently guide your attention back to the present moment. This mental workout strengthens the muscle of focus, making it easier to resist the sirens of distraction when you need to be productive. It’s like doing push-ups for your prefrontal cortex.

What I personally like to do is sit out on my porch at the end of a day, and just…do nothing. Sit, with my eyes shut and listen to my brain or the birds outside. It steadies me and while, I don’t do it every day, I never regret it when I take the time to do so.

To Conclude…

You’re probably never going to reach this fully “zen”, undistracted state. I’ve had to come to terms with this. It is simply because of the times we live in. Unless you’re interested in becoming a hermit, there is always going to be a slight tug to become distracted again. And giving in sometimes isn’t the end of the world. What I’m really after here are the patterns I’m giving into that is harming my brain in the long term. Not that random scroll I did the other day through pinterest while I was in the waiting room of a Doctor’s Office.

The ultimate goal, at least for me, in doing all these things, is to be present. I want to remember my life and feel deeply. And if I’m bouncing from task to task and never trying anything new or focusing, how is that classified as living?

Anyways, I don’t wanna go too deep with you guys on a random Saturday morning where you were just hunting around for some little tips on how you can better your attention span. So, I’ll see ya’ll later!

Preview of my Next Book

~ Brooke F. ~ 4 Comments

I don’t talk about my faith a ton on the blog. Not that I am ashamed of it but it’s something I usually I don’t delve too deep into as most people are probably here for writing tips and random writing experiments. BUT when I write poetry, it tends to spill out in all its honest glory. My next poetry book is all about love lost and God. The heartbreak stuff, the deep stuff, the wrestling-through-questions kind of stuff. It’s the most vulnerable I’ve been with my writing in a while, admittedly.

I wanted to give you a little sneak peek. If this sounds like your cup of tea at all, feel free to keep reading. If not, see ya in the next post, I’ll not hold it against you 😉

This poem came from one of those thoughts that just wrecks you in the best way: Do you think Jesus, when He prayed in the garden, thought about Adam and Eve? About walking with them in the cool of the day? And did He already know that His sacrifice would reach all the way back to redeem even them?

I had never considered that before and when I did, the parallel seemed interesting. So, naturally, I wrote a poem about it.

Here it is: The Tale of Two Gardens

The Tale of Two Gardens

Do you think, when Christ knelt in the garden all alone,

That He thought of the first breath, or the first bone?

Of footsteps that walked on soil in the cool of the day

Two souls unashamed, then two led astray.

Did He think of the fruit, the reaching of hands,

Yearning beyond what he commands.

Of fig leaves stitched with a shiver of dread,

Of paradise lost, and the very first tears ever shed?

Did he think of their conversations with his first own,

As He whispered His prayer in that garden of stone?

Did He see not just thorns but a tree once denied,

Where mercy was given, but they were not yet justified.

He sweat drops of blood where they once walked free,

But even then, grace reached backward, far beyond what we see.

Redemption is deeper than we understand.

It touches the first folly of humans, the Savior’s extended hand.

And Father, perhaps, when night turned to day,

And the stone rolled back from where Love chose to stay,

The echo of Eden rang sweet through the skies,

For even the first ones were brought back to life.

Have you Written a Book? Drop a link down below!

~ Brooke F. ~ 9 Comments

Have You Written Something Outside Your Blog? Tell Me Everything.

Lately I’ve been realizing that a surprising number of bloggers have written books. Like actual, full books. Some self-published, some traditionally published, some still tucked away in Google Docs waiting for the right moment to be unleashed upon on the world. And it made me wonder…what else have we all been up to?

Blogging is already such a creative thing, but it turns out it’s just the tip of the iceberg for a lot of people. So this is me being nosy in the best way possible. If you’ve written a book, I want to hear about it. Fiction, nonfiction, poetry, memoir, cookbook, anything. Drop the title, maybe a synopsis, and a link if you’ve got one.

And even if you haven’t written a book, I’d still love to know if you’ve done something creative outside your blog. Art? Music? Zines? A newsletter you’re proud of? I want to cheer you on.

Leave a comment below and let’s build each other up. I’m excited to read what you’ve been working on.

k byeeeee!

Finding My Lazy Genre (And Escaping Reader’s Block with Cozy Mysteries)

~ Brooke F. ~ 4 Comments

Reader’s block hit me like a wet paper towel after college. Who knew years of reading ONLY for school and committing every braincell to your degree could burn you out on books??

I used to devour books as if they were my favorite dessert. But once I graduated high school, I’d open a book, read two paragraphs, and suddenly remember I needed to reorganize my closet or wanted to scroll on pinterested for an hour. I could not for the life of me focus.

Then, I cracked open a cozy mystery a month ago, and, just like that, I was back. Not back in an “I’m suddenly reading 700-page literary fiction before bed” way. No, I was back in the “I finished this paperback in two sittings with a latte and a blanket and now I want ten more just like it” kind of way.

It made me realize something: I’d finally found my lazy genre.

Now allow me to explain. A lazy genre isn’t a dig at the books, first off. It’s a term of endearment. It’s the genre you can slide into like sweatpants after a long day. The kind that requires zero brain gymnastics but still gives you all the serotonin of a well-timed twist or a slow-burn romance. For some people, that’s YA fantasy with dragons and chosen ones. For others, it’s angsty romance with dramatic rainstorms and not-so-conveniently timed confessions (hey, Jane Austin readers. How ya doing?)

For me I had just found out that It’s cozy mysteries with predictable plots, modern settings, and characters who are funny without being emotionally exhausting. Like, please don’t give me a main character going through too much. I’m tired. I want her to bake muffins, accidentally find a dead body, and flirt with the local cop. Is that so much to ask?

There’s something comforting in knowing exactly what’s going to happen: someone dies, someone investigates, someone has a quirky pet, and justice is served along with with tea and cookies. It’s like watching reruns of your favorite show. You’re not surprised, but you are deeply content.

So here’s a thought for you all that I wanted to share: If you’ve been struggling to get back into reading, maybe you don’t need a “better” book. Maybe you just need your lazy genre. The one that goes down easy. The one that feels like a warm cup of Jo for your overstimulated brain.

Find it. Embrace it. Stack your nightstand with it.

And if anyone judges your reading choices, remind them that reading is reading. Whether it’s Tolstoy or a sassy amateur sleuth named Mabel who keeps stumbling over corpses in her idyllic coastal town.