How to Mourn that Story you never Finished

Some stories don’t make it. I’m sure you’re already WELL aware of that if you’re a writer.
Not because they weren’t good, or because you didn’t care enough, but because something shifted. You outgrew it. Life got busy. The plot unraveled. Or maybe the fire that lit it up when you first started just… dimmed. It doesn’t interest you anymore.

And now it sits in your drafts folder, collecting dust or …uh… pixels.

If that’s where you’re at: I see you.

So here’s a little post I’ve been wanting to write for awhile on mourning the death of your story and what you can learn from the whole thing. Very similar to my post on knowing when to quit on a story, this post will focus on the after and the questions you can critically ask so you can grow and learn. Otherwise, the experience can be discouraging and it feels like you just dumped your time into a project that never showed tangible results. So let’s try and avoid that. 🙂

Read It With Curiosity, Not Criticism

When you’re ready, go back and reread the draft. Not to fix it, but to understand it.

Ask yourself some qestions such as:

  • What parts still make you feel something?
  • What parts confused you or dragged?
  • Where were you trying too hard to be someone you’re not as a writer?

Remember: you wrote that version of the story with the skills and heart you had then. That’s a snapshot of a creative moment in time. It deserves to live on. Please, please, please don’t delete no matter how cringe and blackmail worthy this piece might be.

Look for the Seeds You Can Replant Elsewhere

Even if the story didn’t grow into what you imagined, that doesn’t mean it was wasted. Often, buried in “dead” drafts are pieces worth saving:

  • A compelling side character
  • A setting that still sparkles in your mind
  • A line of dialogue that makes you sit up and whisper, “That’s it.”

You might not resurrect the whole story but you can borrow from its bones. Let it compost into something new.

Track Your Creative Patterns

Unfinished stories are often full of clues about yourself. It holds your interests, your hang-ups, and what you feel is important.

Try this:

  • Make a list of your abandoned stories.
  • Jot down what each one was trying to explore (themes, feelings, questions).
  • See what repeats.

You might realize you always write about lonely girls and overgrown gardens. Or that your stories die when the middle turns into a slog. That kind of self-awareness? Invaluable. Plus you can use it to inform your creative decisions moving forward. Try and place what you wanted from this draft.

Final Thought:

It’s okay if the ending never got written. And who knows? One day you might go back. Maybe not to fix it, but to pick up where you left off. Or not. Either way, the story gave you something.

Something I simply must share

Hello readers!

I know it’s been a minute. I haven’t been as consistent lately with posting since midterms smacked me like a bird flying into a window. But now it’s officially spring break and I definitely have a few fun and different posts planned to share with you all. But, taking a step back, I have something I wanted to share with everyone reading this.

This wasn’t a planned post. In fact, I just made up my mind to talk about this about 20 seconds ago. What happened 20 seconds ago to spur this post you might ask? Well, I was reading and I came across a quote that I wished I could shout to the world, specifically every 20-something year old or graduating teen. I wished I could speak back in time to tell my 18 year old self this:

“The opportunity sometimes simply isn’t yours but that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.”

This is the quote that I ran across today that made me stop and tear up a little.

I am an ambitious person. I had a very specific view of how my life would turn out from an early age. But, as it always does, reality struck me. Multiple times. And it continues to do so even now. Life is, truthfully, full of disappointments. And, sometimes, I take that very personally.

I used to think that if you worked hard enough for something, you could obtain it. And while I believe that is a good PRINCIPLE to live by, I now believe that it is NOT a set in stone rule. Sometimes you work hard and circumstances out of your control slap you in the face and say “Hahaha, sorry, that ain’t happening.”

Your 20’s are when your dreams are crushed.

At least that’s how it feels at times. But the truth is something a little less depressing. And it’s that not every opportunity is ours even if we want it to be. And that’s okay. It’s not wrong to want it. It’s not wrong to have worked towards it. In fact, I believe there is something honorable in having a dream and trying to obtain it.

But it doesn’t always work out.

And we didn’t do anything wrong.

The opportunity just simply wasn’t ours.

Thanks for reading this quick post. And if anyone is wondering where the quote is from, it’s from a book by Nicki Koziarz called “Why Her?”. Definitely recommend it if you want an insightful, Biblically oriented read.

Hope everyone is doing well & is safe during these uncertain times.

How to Tackle Test Anxiety

Welp, my winter break will be over next week, as much as it saddens me to say. So, in honor of that, I’ve decided to do yet another college/school related post to help all the students out there. If you’re like me, you struggle with a little bit of test anxiety so below I’m going to leave my personal tips on how you can tackle the little testing butterflies. Enjoy, readers & fellow students!

★Make a study plan.

Be prepared for this test. Know in your mind that you’re doing what you can. Don’t burn yourself out studying but definitely make a plan of attack so you can walk into your test feeling more confident in yourself and your abilities.

★Practice positive self talk.

Encourage yourself. Tell yourself that you are capable. But also remind yourself that your worth is not derived from your performance.

★Get plenty of sleep the night before.

This plays into your mindset going into the test. You will feel worse about yourself if your sluggish and exhausted from studying all night.

★Have a nice breakfast or meal before leaving for school in the morning.

You want your brain ready for this test. Plus, sometimes having something on your stomach can squelch that “pukey” feeling. Coffee on an empty stomach can sometimes make that feeling worse as it’s pretty acidic.

★Visualize Success.

Think about how good it will feel to have the test out of the way and, even better, making a good grade on it.

★Give yourself practice tests.

This will help you get used to the feeling of being tested on these things and will help you study the material itself.

★Separate your fears.

Some fears are ridiculous and sometimes you gotta recognize that. Some are founded and I would recommend talking those fears out with someone close to you or a teacher or even writing them down. But the fear that “everyone will think I’m a moron and a failure” is probably not a very realistic one. It definitely exists in your head sometimes as I know it can exist in mine, but it is vital to label these fears as lies that we agonize over.

★Let go of perfectionism

You’re not going to make all A’s all the time. That’s not realistic. Definitely study in hopes of getting an A, but please don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect all the time. College is hard and can be even harder if we heap insane expectations upon ourselves.

★During the test, remember to breath and think positively

Take it one question at a time. Select the answers you know are correct first and then go back. If you find yourself spiraling into fear and self doubt, take a moment to take a deep breath and remind yourself of your past successes and that you can do this.

★Don’t obsess over questions

Agonizing over a question can often result in you changing the correct answer (your gut answer) to a wrong one as you second guess yourself. Check your answers but don’t obsess over them.

★Keep it in perspective.

Your life doesn’t hang in the balance here. This is a test. And while you want to do well, sometimes you’ve just gotta do your best and what will be will be. Besides, you’ll probably do worse on the test if you’re feeling rattled. It is in your best interest to keep it all in perspective and have a healthy mindset going into it.

Remember, you can do this!

21 Little Ways to Love People

★ Send them cards.

★ Bake them bread.

★ Send them a bunch of memes that you know that will make them laugh.

★Write them a poem.

★Send them a perfume or lotion of a smell that makes you think of them or that you think they’ll like.

★Asking them how their day was.

★ Buy or pick them flowers and tie it with a ribbon.

★Spend time with them

★ Make them a playlist.

★Recommend them a movie that you know they’ll enjoy.

★Send them a little note of gratitude.

★ Write them a letter.

★ Recommend them a book that you know they’ll enjoy.

★ Make them soup.

★ Make them a list of things that make you think about them.

★ Draw them a picture or just making them some sort of art.

★Make them cookies.

★ Write them a short story.

★ Recommend them a flavor of coffee/tea

★ Send them a Bible Verse or a Motivational quote.

★Tell them you love them.

Evening Poems: Tired of losing sleep over this

Regret 

Sounds like… 

Voices cracking in the middle of the explanation. 

Apologies that never get heard. 

Rehearsal but no performance.

Regret 

Looks like… 

Everything but their face, because you’re looking all around so you don’t have to meet their gaze. 

Silence that weighs heavier than any words ever could.

Absence.

Regret 

Tastes like… 

The same cup of coffee you’ve had every morning for the past three years. 

Evening Poems: Anxiety

Anxiety is man, 

He tells earnestly 

For what I should worry 

But as I focus on his features 

He seems to be blurry 

So I’ve come to find out 

He thinks he knows best 

In his well trimmed suit 

With a velvet vest. 

But his words are empty 

A spiral of care. 

Obsession dressed in good intentions

To hide the nightmare.

Here’s the tea ☕

Chamomile-

Amazing for winding down and relaxation. Good to drink before bed. Also helps with anxiety, head aches, and bloating. Recommended for those who are stressed. 

Peppermint-

Helps with bloating as well but also combats nausea. Another perk  includes combating bad breath.  

Chai-

For those with crappy immune systems (haha me). Fights inflammation. Aids digestion.

Black-

Treats anxiety (yay). Helps with weight loss. Also relieves head aches. 

Oolong-

Promotes weight loss & boosts one’s metabolism. It also might decrease your risk of developing type 2 diabetes and protect against certain types of cancer. Good for dental health. 

White-

Good for stress and detoxification. Also promotes weight loss. 

Hibiscus-

Good for high blood pressure and fights respiratory diseases. 

Matcha-

Also good for bad immune systems.  Burns belly fat and is a good detoxifier. 

Hard Health Tips We All Need to Hear

Health tips we all need to hear (I’m kind of calling myself out too)

-stop drinking coffee for the aesthetic. Drink water. 

-actually make your bed. It makes your entire room look so much more neater. Trust me, I was a skeptic about this too but once you get into the habit, it really improves the feel of your space and gives you a clearer mind. 

-snack less. 

-Procrastinate Less. As soon as you get an assignment, DO IT. 

-it’s okay to buy yourself little treats every now and then. You feel guilty too much. It’s okay to buy that package of new socks for yourself, seriously.

-make yourself a playlist, it really helps. 

-wash your face at night, it can help you “wash away the day”. 

-if you want a warm, comfort drink, I recommend tea. I plan on making a full post on this. 

-don’t play your phone in bed. The blue light hinders your sleep and you want your mind to associate your bed with sleep.