Tag: collegestudent

Lies Commonly told to Graduates/College Students

~ Brooke F. ~ 3 Comments

This is a post that has been stewing around in my head for quite awhile. As a sophomore, almost a junior in college, I have heard A LOT of these. The unfortunate thing is people often think they are being helpful or supportive by offering these words of advice though I think sometimes they can do more harm than good. So, I’m going to quickly go through a few of these and say my peace as to why I have a problem with each of the selected phrases. Let’s get to it now, shall we?

1. “Just follow your dreams.”

This is a super loaded statement, nor is it particularly helpful. Students should consider a variety of factors which includes but it not only limited to their passions. If you ONLY consider this singular variable, this could lead you to a precarious position. Pursue your passions, of course, but also consider that that doesn’t always mean making it your career.

2. “The next step is always college/higher education.”

College is expensive. I think we all know this. If you’re not entirely sure if it’s the right next step for you, maybe take a step back and look at your options. There are alternatives to college. There is something to be said for trade schools or simply applying to entry level jobs and working your way up.

3. “You need to decide X, Y, and Z right now.” & “You can’t change your mind.”

Some decisions are time sensitive but decisions such as what you choose to major in, what career you’re working towards, etc. can be changed. So while it may be technically true that you need to choose a field of study soon after graduating, this is also a decision that can be

4. “Just find something that will make you money.”

Money, like your passions, is a factor that must be considered while planning your future. It should not, however, be considered solely. Again, like your passions, it is one of a few factors to think about.

I think if you were to summarize all these phrases and my problems with them is that they offer little to no nuance on a subject that depends highly on the person and their specific set of circumstances. There is no one way to live your life and certain decisions and life styles suit some people and not others. So, if you know a graduate and want to support them, do so by letting them know that no one really has it figured out in adulthood. Tell them that they should try new things and do their best. Tell them to prepared to work hard but also enjoy some little things about being an adult now. It seems scary at first, but you can do it!

Not-so Cute Study Tips

~ Brooke F. ~ 9 Comments

★Maybe take a break from that coffee? It can make you jittery sometimes and keep you from hydrating. Grab a quick glass of water instead of another coffee refill.

★Messy notes are a thousand times better than no notes. As long as you can read what you wrote, keep charging on. Your notes don’t have to look cute, just legible and somewhat organized.

★Showing up to class looking a little sloppy is better than not showing up at all. I know its tempting to skip but it is a risky decision. Plus, you don’t want to use of your “sick days” for when you just don’t feel like going or you got up a little late.

★Take a shower if you feel like you can’t study anymore. Refresh your mind a little.

★You don’t have to do a deep clean, but try and make sure that at least the surface of your desk is somewhat clean and clear. This will help you focus.

★Seriously, turn your notifications off.

★Try and stay on top of laundry to where you have at least one clean outfit-preferably the one you’re wearing.

★Sleeping the night before a test will probably do you more good than pulling an all-nighter. Wake up with a little time to eat breakfast and drink a whole glass of water before the exam. The information you crammed the night before is useless if you’re so lethargic that you can’t recall it.

★Packed lunches will save you a lot of money.

★If you’re feeling groggy mid-study session, try moving around a little. Get some fresh air, it does wonders.

★You don’t have to feel “cute” all the time to be productive. Romanticizing your education and schoolwork is awesome unless it starts to get in the way of your work. You don’t have to have perfect notes all the time & drink those aesthetically pleasing iced lattes so much. At the end of the day, it’s about the work you put in.

Remember, you can do this!

How to Study Like A Ravenclaw

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

★Cute and organized stationary is a must have. You come into studying PREPARED.

★Draw pictures and diagrams when you can.

★Use pens. Particularly the cool kind that erase. The way the ink flows onto the page is supremely satisfying.

★You review your notes daily.

★You think critically on the subject matter you are studying.

★ You do the additional reading.

★ You prioritize. The important tasks get done first.

★ Lists, lists, lists, and more lists!!

★ You actually study at a desk.

★ You check your sources before you cite them.

★ You utilize planners and study apps

★ You drink tea over coffee.

★ You don’t ignore what you don’t understand. You follow up and figure it out.

★ You take five minute breaks when needed before diving back in.

★ You know your limits as well what you are in control of.

An Open Letter to Freshman Me

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Wow! Where to begin, where to begin…

First off, hey there freshman me. Hope you’re doing well.

But I know you’re not doing well. You can’t hide it from others and most importantly, you can’t hide it from yourself. I know you’ve been trying but it just makes stuff all that much hard. When you’re hurting, sometimes it makes it worse to walk around on that broken leg or with that emotional wound exposed to the world. And all the while you’re telling yourself “yeah, I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m gonna be okay.”

Girl, stop it.

Truthfully, if this letter really could reach back in time, I think you really just needed to be served some hard truths mixed with what you were really craving during that time: a little bit of hope. Funny how those things can walk hand and hand.

Loving truth.

Those words shouldn’t be separate. They shouldn’t be seen as opposites that you must balance equally on a scale. They are partners. Perfect partners.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Dear Freshman Me,

You’re tired, aren’t you? You’ve been here before, haven’t you? And that frustrates you.

In middle school and high school, you fought tooth and nail to just be comfortable in your own skin. You desperately wanted to see some self-worth in that mirror of yours and you thought you finally had it a few years ago. You thought, Wow, glad I figured that out! Now I’m good for life!

You were not good for life.

Loving yourself and figuring out how to be a healthy individual is not a one time thing and you’re done. You have to relearn how to be comfortable with who you are and where you’re at every single time a big change comes along. (And sometimes it doesnt even have to be a big change).

And now you’re learning it in college. Which, turns out, is a lot harder than you imagined. And so you’re in denial while simultaneously being mad at yourself for not being happy or the least bit healthy. You are a champion at beating yourself up and that needs to stop because it will quite literally kill you.

This lens that you’re viewing life from is also jacked up. You’re stressing waaaaay to much over the stuff that doesn’t matter. The stuff that is out of your control. You have a work ethic, and I’m proud of you. But no amount of work will guarantee you EVERYTHING to go your way. And I know that’s going to be hard to accept.

As much as I want you to believe that you can work hard for nearly anything and reach that goal… that’s not 100% true. This is a good philosophy to hold but it is not a promise. It was never a promise.

So when you get crappy teachers, lose your job because of a pandemic, get mistreated and let down by friends and family alike, don’t quite meet the criteria for that scholarship, don’t pass that midterm despite studying for days… don’t internalize it. Take a deep breath and evaluate. Don’t blame. Evaluate.

Because sometimes, as I’m sure you’re aware of, you are going to be the bad guy, sometimes it will be your fault, and sometimes you COULD have done better. But that’s not the case here. You tried your best and you know it. And that’s where it should end. None of this beating yourself up and SEARCHING for reasons that it was your fault, because if it was, that implies you had some sort of control in the situation.

So stop! Be proud of yourself for just a couple seconds. Please. You got here and that’s worth celebrating, whether or not you choose to continue down this path or reavluate.

Secondly, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I know you can’t see it and there will be more days in the future when you can’t see it, but you’ve gotta hold your feelings loosely. Yes, they’re important and they should be addressed but feelings can be a big ol’ liar too. So have a little faith.

Did you know, you’d finish the rough draft of your novel this year? You’re going to do that! Four years in the making and you’ll be able to print it out and begin the editing process and showing it to your friends! It’s going to be awesome!

You’re going to meet new people and they’re going to be great. I know some stuff hasn’t gone how you expected when it came to your social life, but people are going to let you done and sometimes you’re going to have to make the hard decision to move on without them, BUT (and there’s always a but) there are going to be some really neat new people for you to meet out there. That, and the ones who’ve stuck around, your friendships with them will only continue to strengthen.

You remember that saying? The one that goes “when a meeting occurs, a parting is sure to follow?” Well, I’m pretty sure the reverse is also true. Because when a parting occurs, a meeting is sure to follow. I promise you.

Gosh, this is getting long, but I still have so much to tell you.

Did you know you’re going to stop biting your nails? I know that might sound trivial to others but I think we both know the significance of that. A nervous tick that even braces couldn’t get rid of.

You’re going to wake up for classes every morning next semester and feel good! The first day of classes you’re going to cry in the car on the way home not because you’re sad, but because you’re thankful and oh-so relieved because you had a GOOD day and this semester is going to be nothing like this last one.

You’re new job is going to be hard but it’s going to be what you need. And people are going to appreciate and recognize you for your work ethic. I know that’s always meant a lot to you.

You’re going to be able to get coffee with friends and step away from studying with no self guilt. You’re going to cry and pray with that girl in the school library. You know, the one who you’ve been praying you could share your faith with? Yeah, that’s going to happen. You’re going to dissect things and that’s gonna be pretty awesome (the earth worm is kind of gross though, be warned). You’re going to write and write and write. You’re going to travel a little in the summer. Go on a roadtrip with your best friend (Twice!!). You’re going to attend a new bible study and you’re going to walk away from it every Wednesday feeling filled and happy. You’re going to have things to look forward to (you’re going to see the ocean next year!). You’re going to play DnD with old friends and a new one every other Saturday. You’re going to dress up in costumes, hang out with your sister and no longer feel like you’re walking on egg shells. You’re going to be an aunt soon, hold tight. You’re going to turn twenty in a few months.

Things aren’t just going to be okay, they’re going to be good. And you’ve gotta keep going so you can see it. I’m proud of you and wish you the best. There’s going to be some hard stuff up ahead but you’ll get through it. Because it will be good because God is good. And you’re going to feel that very soon.

Ugh, sorry, this is getting long. I know you probably have a mountain of biology homework to do so I’ll let you go. Take care of yourself, alright?

Love,

Sophomore Me

Tips on Studying for an Exam (especially when memorization is involved)

~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

★Flash cards!

And while I know there are a lot of nifty online flashcard making sites like quizlet and so forth, but I personally recommend getting your own index cards and making your own by hand. Making the cards itself can help you study, plus if you’re ever somewhere without access to the internet, your phone, or computer, you can pull your cards out and study. Plus, it just really helps your memory to lay the cards out in various ways and studying them. Remember, the more physical movement involved in your studying, the more likely you are to retain the information.

★Make your own study guide.

Seriously. It helps you study while making it but can also be invaluable when actually studying. Memorize the information by covering up the answers to said study guide and writing the answers out, by hand. Which brings me to my next tip-

★Write things out you need to memorize

Not type. Write. If you’re handwriting is bad, don’t worry about it. That’s not the point. The point is to memorize and studies show that people are more likely to remember something when they write it out by hand.

★Recite and Read Out loud

And if you’re wondering if this is another memory thing, it is. Read your stuff out loud to your sibling, cat, your breakfast, whatever you want. Just solidify those words in your head and attach sounds to them. Again, you’ll be a lot more likely to remember.

★Take breaks

Your brain can only really focus for about an hour before wondering off into oblivion. So, every hour, walk around a little and take a well-deserved break. Study smarter, not harder.

★Don’t wait till the last second to study

We’ve all tried. And it rarely works out. And even when it does, the amount of stress you undergo the day before is not worth it. Do yourself a favor, and start as soon as possible.

★Reward yourself

Try and prevent burnout not only be taking breaks, but rewarding yourself if you can. My favorite way to do this, is if I’ve studied a long time, I’ll allow myself to buy an iced coffee before hitting the books again. Find out what little ways you can give your brain dopamine and integrate that into your study time.

★Eat food. Drink water.

Do you know how utterly useless your brain is when you’re dehydrated and hungry? Pretty darn useless. And even if you feel like you’re making progress, you’re probably are fatigued by a head ache. That’s why I mean it when I say to feed yourself and drink water. Not coffee. Not a smoothie. Water.

★Don’t attach your performance on this test to your self-worth

This is more of a mindset tip, but it concerns your preparation for this test. No matter what, PLEASE do not attach your performance on this test to your grade. Please. Speaking as someone who lived this her freshman semester, this does not help your testing abilities. You will probably find yourself a nervous wreck before, after, and during the test, therefore hindering your memory. The more stressed out you are, the more likely you are to forget stuff. And then if you don’t get the grade you wanted, you feel super defeated and it’s much harder to bounce back from a bad grade or a failed test when you possess this mindset. So do yourself a favor, and trash it. Try your hardest and the rest of it will workout.

How to bounce back from failing an exam (or even a class)

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know this isn’t fun to write about or even read about. As a student who grew accustomed to A’s and B’s in highschool, I found myself a little shell-shocked when I got to college and failed my first big test (RIP my biology midterm grade-you will be missed). And it was… an adjustment to say the least. Really this one grade should not have made me question my identity like it did but a someone who prides myself on how well I do at school, it was definitely a blow to my pride. I questioned whether or not I was really cut-out for college or even my major (I am a bio major by the way). But in the end, what I really ended up doing was dusting myself off and trying again. And here’s how I did it…

I had a grieving period

And boy, did it stink. I cried over this grade a lot (probably a bit more than I should have). But I really do think it is good to allow yourself to feel sad over this grade, especially if you worked really hard and did not receive the mark you feel you had earned or expected. Don’t wallow of course. You should not tie your self worth to your grades. But do allow yourself the time to be sad. Cry. Shower. And Take a nap.

I had a forgiveness period

And then I had to forgive myself. I know it may seem strange to some, but when I get a bad grade, I have to forgive myself for it because usually it means I disappointed myself. But wallowing in self-hatred is not a recipe for doing well in a class or even doing well in general for that matter. So there eventually came a point where I just had to accept it and move on.

I had an evaluation period

I had to think about why I flunked. This, in turn, and lead you to forming a better game plan for this class in the future. I had to ask myself how I got this bad grade and what led to it and whether or not it was in my control. I’ve done poorly on a few tests since the bio midterm mishap and did so for a variety of different reasons. Some were simply due to ineffective study methods or spreading of study time. And every now and then, the class itself is just plain difficult (or maybe even a professor is). This doesn’t give you an excuse to give up of course but you should definitely recognize what is and isn’t in your control.

I made a new game plan

Once I identified why exactly I did badly, I made a new game plan. Usually this step involves a new study strategy that focuses on where I was weak before and compensates for where I messed up. I recommend making this plan and then STICKING TO IT (it doesn’t do you any good to make it and not follow through).

I Tried to avoid burnout by taking breaks

I know for me it was hard to accept that I still needed breaks after my bad grade. When I don’t do well, I have a bad habit of depriving myself of such things because I felt I didn’t deserve it. But trust me, not taking-breaks just results in burn-out and that helps no one. Breaks are not optional. Stick to your game plan but your game plan should consist of a well-needed break every now and then. This step took me a few weeks to grasp but after completely wearing myself thin, I got the message that I need to rest as any normal person does.

I accepted that this happens

To the majority of people actually. College is hard. But I can do it because I can do hard things. Even if I fail sometimes. That’s a part of succeeding actually I’ve discovered. For every success I have about 100 little failures that allowed me to get there. And that’s alright. So best of luck to you. Go and achieve your goals. Because you can do hard things!