Tag: college

Lies Commonly told to Graduates/College Students

~ Brooke F. ~ 3 Comments

This is a post that has been stewing around in my head for quite awhile. As a sophomore, almost a junior in college, I have heard A LOT of these. The unfortunate thing is people often think they are being helpful or supportive by offering these words of advice though I think sometimes they can do more harm than good. So, I’m going to quickly go through a few of these and say my peace as to why I have a problem with each of the selected phrases. Let’s get to it now, shall we?

1. “Just follow your dreams.”

This is a super loaded statement, nor is it particularly helpful. Students should consider a variety of factors which includes but it not only limited to their passions. If you ONLY consider this singular variable, this could lead you to a precarious position. Pursue your passions, of course, but also consider that that doesn’t always mean making it your career.

2. “The next step is always college/higher education.”

College is expensive. I think we all know this. If you’re not entirely sure if it’s the right next step for you, maybe take a step back and look at your options. There are alternatives to college. There is something to be said for trade schools or simply applying to entry level jobs and working your way up.

3. “You need to decide X, Y, and Z right now.” & “You can’t change your mind.”

Some decisions are time sensitive but decisions such as what you choose to major in, what career you’re working towards, etc. can be changed. So while it may be technically true that you need to choose a field of study soon after graduating, this is also a decision that can be

4. “Just find something that will make you money.”

Money, like your passions, is a factor that must be considered while planning your future. It should not, however, be considered solely. Again, like your passions, it is one of a few factors to think about.

I think if you were to summarize all these phrases and my problems with them is that they offer little to no nuance on a subject that depends highly on the person and their specific set of circumstances. There is no one way to live your life and certain decisions and life styles suit some people and not others. So, if you know a graduate and want to support them, do so by letting them know that no one really has it figured out in adulthood. Tell them that they should try new things and do their best. Tell them to prepared to work hard but also enjoy some little things about being an adult now. It seems scary at first, but you can do it!

????

~ Brooke F. ~ 18 Comments

Did you know I once heard
In a poetry class
That a sign of a weak poem
Is when the writer asks?
Did you know that I heard
The teacher say
That a question has no place
In a poet’s wordplay?
So then I asked myself
Can you do this task?
Where the narrator does nothing
But question and ask?
Maybe I could end every line
With that lovely little mark?
What’s wrong with this symbol?
Am I correct in saying its not dirty or dark?
Dont you think that we owe
It a little respect?
A symbol of curiosity
Lovely Punctuation and not a defect?

How to Tackle Test Anxiety

~ Brooke F. ~ 8 Comments

Welp, my winter break will be over next week, as much as it saddens me to say. So, in honor of that, I’ve decided to do yet another college/school related post to help all the students out there. If you’re like me, you struggle with a little bit of test anxiety so below I’m going to leave my personal tips on how you can tackle the little testing butterflies. Enjoy, readers & fellow students!

★Make a study plan.

Be prepared for this test. Know in your mind that you’re doing what you can. Don’t burn yourself out studying but definitely make a plan of attack so you can walk into your test feeling more confident in yourself and your abilities.

★Practice positive self talk.

Encourage yourself. Tell yourself that you are capable. But also remind yourself that your worth is not derived from your performance.

★Get plenty of sleep the night before.

This plays into your mindset going into the test. You will feel worse about yourself if your sluggish and exhausted from studying all night.

★Have a nice breakfast or meal before leaving for school in the morning.

You want your brain ready for this test. Plus, sometimes having something on your stomach can squelch that “pukey” feeling. Coffee on an empty stomach can sometimes make that feeling worse as it’s pretty acidic.

★Visualize Success.

Think about how good it will feel to have the test out of the way and, even better, making a good grade on it.

★Give yourself practice tests.

This will help you get used to the feeling of being tested on these things and will help you study the material itself.

★Separate your fears.

Some fears are ridiculous and sometimes you gotta recognize that. Some are founded and I would recommend talking those fears out with someone close to you or a teacher or even writing them down. But the fear that “everyone will think I’m a moron and a failure” is probably not a very realistic one. It definitely exists in your head sometimes as I know it can exist in mine, but it is vital to label these fears as lies that we agonize over.

★Let go of perfectionism

You’re not going to make all A’s all the time. That’s not realistic. Definitely study in hopes of getting an A, but please don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect all the time. College is hard and can be even harder if we heap insane expectations upon ourselves.

★During the test, remember to breath and think positively

Take it one question at a time. Select the answers you know are correct first and then go back. If you find yourself spiraling into fear and self doubt, take a moment to take a deep breath and remind yourself of your past successes and that you can do this.

★Don’t obsess over questions

Agonizing over a question can often result in you changing the correct answer (your gut answer) to a wrong one as you second guess yourself. Check your answers but don’t obsess over them.

★Keep it in perspective.

Your life doesn’t hang in the balance here. This is a test. And while you want to do well, sometimes you’ve just gotta do your best and what will be will be. Besides, you’ll probably do worse on the test if you’re feeling rattled. It is in your best interest to keep it all in perspective and have a healthy mindset going into it.

Remember, you can do this!

How to Romanticize Studying

~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

Studying doesn’t have to be a “cute” experience all the time, but sometimes it just feel nice to pretend you’re in a dark academia film or something. And for those of us who sometimes struggle to come up with the motivation to study, makin the process a little fun when we can is a nice thing to do our ourselves.

★Make a playlist

With whatever music you love. Though I do personally recommend something that fits the “vibe” of your study session. This could be orchestral or lo-fi or whatever feels “right”.

★Find Inspo

Make yourself a cute little moodboard on pinterest to find inspiration on how to arrange your study space to look pretty and pleasing to the eyes.

★rewrite your notes to be pretty

Not only does this help you study, but it also means your notes look cleaner and more organized, therefore being easier on the eyes.

★A clean desk. and a clean room for that matter

Your brain might feel cluttered if your space is cluttered. Do a quick little room and desk clean and actually try to make your bed. It does wonders.

★Drink/Eat warm things

Tea, coffee, croissants, bread, soup, whatever. Warm things definitely help the vibe. Though remember to not skimp out on your water.

★Make yourself feel cute

Maybe tie your hair up with a ribbon or change into a warm sweater. Anything that makes you feel more put-together.

★Consider fairylights or some sort of cool lighting decor

Totally optional (well, technically this entire list is) but I personally am a huge fan of lamps and fairylights. You can find them pretty cheap on amazon and they really add a cozy touch to your space.

★Light a candle

Candles are pretty plus they make your room smell great. Double points!

And that’s all for now! Good luck, my fellow students! Study hard!

How to Juggle being a Writer & Student

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Hello everyone! It’s me! Winter break has been kind to my thus far and I am super relieved finals are over at long last. And even though I’ll miss some of my teachers and class, overall, I’m excited I don’t have to worry about the whole writing & school juggling thing that I have to do for the majority of the year.

Admittedly, some weeks I’m better at it than others. But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t picked up a few tips and tricks along the way that help me balance writing and doing homework/attending classes like a good college student. And here are a few.

★Read

Reading gets your brain in that “book” mindset. It helps exercise your brain and keeps you sharp and in the zone to write. Plus, reading other people’s books is always a marvelous way for you to pick up writing nuances and techniques that you could employ in your own work when you finally have the time to work on it.

★Write between classes

Filling up the random chunks of time you have between classes with a bit of writing never hurt anyone. In fact, you don’t even need to sit down and write for a long time. I had a goal of a 200 daily word goal throughout the semester and while I didn’t manage it everyday, most times I met it while writing between my biology lab and poetry class.

★Write on breaks

I mean during Winter break, spring break- whatever you feel like you can manage. But I do caution people in the event that they really need the mental break for themselves and not for writing, that is 100% fine too. I did that many times throughout the school year. At first it made me feel guilty as I felt I was wasting precious writing time, but really, sometimes the mental rest is worth more.

★Write in more chill ways

For example, journaling. Or roleplaying with your friends. Or writing a blog post. Or setting a timer for five minutes to crank out a flash fiction piece. Writing a little or badly is better than not writing at all. Quantity over quality is a philosophy that applies to writing as you naturally get better with more practice.

★Be kind to yourself

Just keep in mind that you’re student. You have limits. And school is going to cut into your writing time quite a bit. That’s just the reality of it. School also might cut into your “mental space” to where you don’t have the brain power to write all the time. And that’s fine too. It’s a hard thing, juggling two parts of yourself, and sometimes you just need to step away from it all and just be a person.

Not a writer.

Not a student.

Just you.

And that is enough.

An Open Letter to Freshman Me

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Wow! Where to begin, where to begin…

First off, hey there freshman me. Hope you’re doing well.

But I know you’re not doing well. You can’t hide it from others and most importantly, you can’t hide it from yourself. I know you’ve been trying but it just makes stuff all that much hard. When you’re hurting, sometimes it makes it worse to walk around on that broken leg or with that emotional wound exposed to the world. And all the while you’re telling yourself “yeah, I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m gonna be okay.”

Girl, stop it.

Truthfully, if this letter really could reach back in time, I think you really just needed to be served some hard truths mixed with what you were really craving during that time: a little bit of hope. Funny how those things can walk hand and hand.

Loving truth.

Those words shouldn’t be separate. They shouldn’t be seen as opposites that you must balance equally on a scale. They are partners. Perfect partners.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Dear Freshman Me,

You’re tired, aren’t you? You’ve been here before, haven’t you? And that frustrates you.

In middle school and high school, you fought tooth and nail to just be comfortable in your own skin. You desperately wanted to see some self-worth in that mirror of yours and you thought you finally had it a few years ago. You thought, Wow, glad I figured that out! Now I’m good for life!

You were not good for life.

Loving yourself and figuring out how to be a healthy individual is not a one time thing and you’re done. You have to relearn how to be comfortable with who you are and where you’re at every single time a big change comes along. (And sometimes it doesnt even have to be a big change).

And now you’re learning it in college. Which, turns out, is a lot harder than you imagined. And so you’re in denial while simultaneously being mad at yourself for not being happy or the least bit healthy. You are a champion at beating yourself up and that needs to stop because it will quite literally kill you.

This lens that you’re viewing life from is also jacked up. You’re stressing waaaaay to much over the stuff that doesn’t matter. The stuff that is out of your control. You have a work ethic, and I’m proud of you. But no amount of work will guarantee you EVERYTHING to go your way. And I know that’s going to be hard to accept.

As much as I want you to believe that you can work hard for nearly anything and reach that goal… that’s not 100% true. This is a good philosophy to hold but it is not a promise. It was never a promise.

So when you get crappy teachers, lose your job because of a pandemic, get mistreated and let down by friends and family alike, don’t quite meet the criteria for that scholarship, don’t pass that midterm despite studying for days… don’t internalize it. Take a deep breath and evaluate. Don’t blame. Evaluate.

Because sometimes, as I’m sure you’re aware of, you are going to be the bad guy, sometimes it will be your fault, and sometimes you COULD have done better. But that’s not the case here. You tried your best and you know it. And that’s where it should end. None of this beating yourself up and SEARCHING for reasons that it was your fault, because if it was, that implies you had some sort of control in the situation.

So stop! Be proud of yourself for just a couple seconds. Please. You got here and that’s worth celebrating, whether or not you choose to continue down this path or reavluate.

Secondly, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I know you can’t see it and there will be more days in the future when you can’t see it, but you’ve gotta hold your feelings loosely. Yes, they’re important and they should be addressed but feelings can be a big ol’ liar too. So have a little faith.

Did you know, you’d finish the rough draft of your novel this year? You’re going to do that! Four years in the making and you’ll be able to print it out and begin the editing process and showing it to your friends! It’s going to be awesome!

You’re going to meet new people and they’re going to be great. I know some stuff hasn’t gone how you expected when it came to your social life, but people are going to let you done and sometimes you’re going to have to make the hard decision to move on without them, BUT (and there’s always a but) there are going to be some really neat new people for you to meet out there. That, and the ones who’ve stuck around, your friendships with them will only continue to strengthen.

You remember that saying? The one that goes “when a meeting occurs, a parting is sure to follow?” Well, I’m pretty sure the reverse is also true. Because when a parting occurs, a meeting is sure to follow. I promise you.

Gosh, this is getting long, but I still have so much to tell you.

Did you know you’re going to stop biting your nails? I know that might sound trivial to others but I think we both know the significance of that. A nervous tick that even braces couldn’t get rid of.

You’re going to wake up for classes every morning next semester and feel good! The first day of classes you’re going to cry in the car on the way home not because you’re sad, but because you’re thankful and oh-so relieved because you had a GOOD day and this semester is going to be nothing like this last one.

You’re new job is going to be hard but it’s going to be what you need. And people are going to appreciate and recognize you for your work ethic. I know that’s always meant a lot to you.

You’re going to be able to get coffee with friends and step away from studying with no self guilt. You’re going to cry and pray with that girl in the school library. You know, the one who you’ve been praying you could share your faith with? Yeah, that’s going to happen. You’re going to dissect things and that’s gonna be pretty awesome (the earth worm is kind of gross though, be warned). You’re going to write and write and write. You’re going to travel a little in the summer. Go on a roadtrip with your best friend (Twice!!). You’re going to attend a new bible study and you’re going to walk away from it every Wednesday feeling filled and happy. You’re going to have things to look forward to (you’re going to see the ocean next year!). You’re going to play DnD with old friends and a new one every other Saturday. You’re going to dress up in costumes, hang out with your sister and no longer feel like you’re walking on egg shells. You’re going to be an aunt soon, hold tight. You’re going to turn twenty in a few months.

Things aren’t just going to be okay, they’re going to be good. And you’ve gotta keep going so you can see it. I’m proud of you and wish you the best. There’s going to be some hard stuff up ahead but you’ll get through it. Because it will be good because God is good. And you’re going to feel that very soon.

Ugh, sorry, this is getting long. I know you probably have a mountain of biology homework to do so I’ll let you go. Take care of yourself, alright?

Love,

Sophomore Me

Tips on Studying for an Exam (especially when memorization is involved)

~ Brooke F. ~ 2 Comments

★Flash cards!

And while I know there are a lot of nifty online flashcard making sites like quizlet and so forth, but I personally recommend getting your own index cards and making your own by hand. Making the cards itself can help you study, plus if you’re ever somewhere without access to the internet, your phone, or computer, you can pull your cards out and study. Plus, it just really helps your memory to lay the cards out in various ways and studying them. Remember, the more physical movement involved in your studying, the more likely you are to retain the information.

★Make your own study guide.

Seriously. It helps you study while making it but can also be invaluable when actually studying. Memorize the information by covering up the answers to said study guide and writing the answers out, by hand. Which brings me to my next tip-

★Write things out you need to memorize

Not type. Write. If you’re handwriting is bad, don’t worry about it. That’s not the point. The point is to memorize and studies show that people are more likely to remember something when they write it out by hand.

★Recite and Read Out loud

And if you’re wondering if this is another memory thing, it is. Read your stuff out loud to your sibling, cat, your breakfast, whatever you want. Just solidify those words in your head and attach sounds to them. Again, you’ll be a lot more likely to remember.

★Take breaks

Your brain can only really focus for about an hour before wondering off into oblivion. So, every hour, walk around a little and take a well-deserved break. Study smarter, not harder.

★Don’t wait till the last second to study

We’ve all tried. And it rarely works out. And even when it does, the amount of stress you undergo the day before is not worth it. Do yourself a favor, and start as soon as possible.

★Reward yourself

Try and prevent burnout not only be taking breaks, but rewarding yourself if you can. My favorite way to do this, is if I’ve studied a long time, I’ll allow myself to buy an iced coffee before hitting the books again. Find out what little ways you can give your brain dopamine and integrate that into your study time.

★Eat food. Drink water.

Do you know how utterly useless your brain is when you’re dehydrated and hungry? Pretty darn useless. And even if you feel like you’re making progress, you’re probably are fatigued by a head ache. That’s why I mean it when I say to feed yourself and drink water. Not coffee. Not a smoothie. Water.

★Don’t attach your performance on this test to your self-worth

This is more of a mindset tip, but it concerns your preparation for this test. No matter what, PLEASE do not attach your performance on this test to your grade. Please. Speaking as someone who lived this her freshman semester, this does not help your testing abilities. You will probably find yourself a nervous wreck before, after, and during the test, therefore hindering your memory. The more stressed out you are, the more likely you are to forget stuff. And then if you don’t get the grade you wanted, you feel super defeated and it’s much harder to bounce back from a bad grade or a failed test when you possess this mindset. So do yourself a favor, and trash it. Try your hardest and the rest of it will workout.

How to avoid burn-out in college

~ Brooke F. ~ 1 Comment

Make short-term achievable goals to go along with your long-term big ones.

This can look like a daily to-do list where you check off little things like doing laundry or cleaning out that messy desk drawer. Your long-term and big goals can be rather daunting. So break it off until smaller bites that you can see yourself accomplishing.

Have at least one weekend day open for catching up (if you can).

I know this isn’t doable for everyone, but leaving at least one weekend day open for catching up on anything that needs to be caught up on is a great thing to do. This can be homework or housework or both. You just need to keep a day open for the things that tend to pile up if you don’t.

Evaluate Priorities (you’re probably going to have to say “no” to something.)

There’s going to be a lot of things bartering for your time in college and I’m sorry to say, you’re likely not going to be able to do it all. I know it’s hard, especially if you have a people pleasing complex (cough, cough), but you’re going to have to say no to some things and some people. You cannot do it all. So prioritize the things that are really worth your time.

Celebrate little achievements and accomplishments and reward yourself every now and then.

Buy yourself a coffee if you did well on that test. Allow yourself to watch an episode of your favorite show when you finish your homework early. Celebrate the small mile-stones and you’ll maintain your wind for future projects.

Keep an eye on your mental state.

College moves so quickly. So much so, it is very easy to cultivate some very unhealthy thinking patterns and habits without even realizing it. I nearly broke one semester because I didn’t even realize I had an issue till I was on the verge of falling to pieces. Keep a conscious eye on your mental state. Sometimes being mentally unhealthy can sneak up on you. It is very easy to lose yourself in a school schedule.

Try to take care of your body.

You study like crap when you feel like crap. Coffee is not a substitute for water. Get some sunlight every now and then. Take your meds. Go for a walk every now and then. Shower and wash your face at the end of the day.

Keep a schedule of some sorts

Especially towards the beginning of the semester when you have lots of room numbers and time slots to remember. But really it’s good to have a schedule year-round if you can manage it. This kind of organization can really help you manage and budget your time and therefore lead to less stress overall during the school year.

Know that it’s okay to ask for help and seek out tutoring resources if you can when needed.

I know asking for help is on most people’s “least favorite things to do” list but trust me, you’re probably going to have to do it at some point during your college career so might as well get used to the idea. And try not to wait till you’re halfway through a class and you’re completely lost to ask for help. If you’re struggling now, ask for help now. Nail down those concepts that you’re shaky on; most subjects build upon earlier concepts.

Make time for passion projects, social activities, or hobbies every now and then.

Don’t run yourself ragged and deprive yourself of spending your time doing fun things or hanging out with friends. These are not “luxuries” that you can deprive yourself of long-term. Sure, don’t skip studying and exam to go partying but definitely schedule a coffee date with a gal pal or a day to indulge in one of your long-neglected hobbies. You are not a machine. You are a person with many different needs, some of which are social. Don’t deprive yourself of these things because you feel you don’t deserve or have “time” for it. You need to make time for it.

How to bounce back from failing an exam (or even a class)

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know this isn’t fun to write about or even read about. As a student who grew accustomed to A’s and B’s in highschool, I found myself a little shell-shocked when I got to college and failed my first big test (RIP my biology midterm grade-you will be missed). And it was… an adjustment to say the least. Really this one grade should not have made me question my identity like it did but a someone who prides myself on how well I do at school, it was definitely a blow to my pride. I questioned whether or not I was really cut-out for college or even my major (I am a bio major by the way). But in the end, what I really ended up doing was dusting myself off and trying again. And here’s how I did it…

I had a grieving period

And boy, did it stink. I cried over this grade a lot (probably a bit more than I should have). But I really do think it is good to allow yourself to feel sad over this grade, especially if you worked really hard and did not receive the mark you feel you had earned or expected. Don’t wallow of course. You should not tie your self worth to your grades. But do allow yourself the time to be sad. Cry. Shower. And Take a nap.

I had a forgiveness period

And then I had to forgive myself. I know it may seem strange to some, but when I get a bad grade, I have to forgive myself for it because usually it means I disappointed myself. But wallowing in self-hatred is not a recipe for doing well in a class or even doing well in general for that matter. So there eventually came a point where I just had to accept it and move on.

I had an evaluation period

I had to think about why I flunked. This, in turn, and lead you to forming a better game plan for this class in the future. I had to ask myself how I got this bad grade and what led to it and whether or not it was in my control. I’ve done poorly on a few tests since the bio midterm mishap and did so for a variety of different reasons. Some were simply due to ineffective study methods or spreading of study time. And every now and then, the class itself is just plain difficult (or maybe even a professor is). This doesn’t give you an excuse to give up of course but you should definitely recognize what is and isn’t in your control.

I made a new game plan

Once I identified why exactly I did badly, I made a new game plan. Usually this step involves a new study strategy that focuses on where I was weak before and compensates for where I messed up. I recommend making this plan and then STICKING TO IT (it doesn’t do you any good to make it and not follow through).

I Tried to avoid burnout by taking breaks

I know for me it was hard to accept that I still needed breaks after my bad grade. When I don’t do well, I have a bad habit of depriving myself of such things because I felt I didn’t deserve it. But trust me, not taking-breaks just results in burn-out and that helps no one. Breaks are not optional. Stick to your game plan but your game plan should consist of a well-needed break every now and then. This step took me a few weeks to grasp but after completely wearing myself thin, I got the message that I need to rest as any normal person does.

I accepted that this happens

To the majority of people actually. College is hard. But I can do it because I can do hard things. Even if I fail sometimes. That’s a part of succeeding actually I’ve discovered. For every success I have about 100 little failures that allowed me to get there. And that’s alright. So best of luck to you. Go and achieve your goals. Because you can do hard things!