Things I hate about Hair

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

*Warning! Whining zone ahead!*

You know, just little things that make me wonder what its like to be bald.

Things I hate About Hair

1. It can be poofy

There are days my hair is poofier than a wedding dress. I hate it when I get out of the shower and my hair dries in a triangle. And it’s not like I can just “comb it out” which makes things a gazillion times worse. I think at that point, I wet my hair again which is basically like pressing the reset button and hoping for the best.

2. It can be thin

I just want to NOT look like gollum, okay?

3. It can be itchy

I have days where I’m sitting down, minding my own business and it feels like a bunch of ants are crawling up my back when in reality, I only let my hair down out of a ponytail.

I really don’t know what the deal is. Some days my hair is silky smooth and others it’s sand paper. But hey! At least the back of my neck has be exfoliated.

4. It can be hot

My neck has experienced global warming first-hand. It’ll get so hot and sweaty whenever I’m outside and (horrors of horrors!) I forgot to bring a hair tie.

5. It’s more stubborn than I am

Sometimes my hair could be classified as a solid as it is not going anywhere. It is staying in it’s poofy shape no matter what. I can take a straightener, a blow dryer, hair spray, hair gel, glue, a weed wacker… whatever to my hair and it will remain untamable in it’s triangular shape. I just want to be pretty, okay?! Give me this moment!

6. Everyone Else’s hair works wonderfully but mine

I could have a friend with crazy curly hair and it can look fabulous and settle in perfect tendrils of beautifulness. Me, who has “straight-ish” hair (notice how I put that in quotation marks) has hair that should be “relatively easy” (Also in quotation marks) to take care of, has to put my hair up in a ponytail just to keep it from floofying (Is that word? Is now!) all over the place. Not only that, but it looks like I have a brown, dead possum hanging from my head or some sort of old carpet.

In reality, I know this is the “grass is greener on the other side” effect. I’m sure that they feel exactly the same way some days.

7. I will have good hair days on days I do not go anywhere

I only have so many good hair days! Why waste it on a day where only my cat can see it?!

Now I will abruptly conclude this rant as I have no idea how to end it. Sooooo… I’m going to go finish blow drying my hair so see you peoples later! Until my next update! (Whenever that is… we’ll see!)

The Sarcastic Little Mermaid

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Gather round children and hear a tale! A tale of how a mermaid loved a prince so much, that she was willing to dump her entire family and fishy friends for him only to die tragically (spoiler alert!)

Ladies and gents, I present: The Sarcastic Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid (She has no name. Just “The little mermaid”. What would her name if she wasn’t little? The medium mermaid? The big mermaid? You can’t just boil people down to fry sizes!) dwells in an underwater kingdom with her father (the sea king or mer-king), her dowager grandmother, and her five older sisters, each of whom had been born one year apart (Her mom had like NO rest at all between children). When a mermaid turns 15, she is permitted to swim to the surface for the first time to glimpse the world above, and when the sisters become old enough, each of them visits the upper world one at a time every year (Two of them at a time is not allowed because why?). As each returns, the Little Mermaid listens longingly to their various descriptions of the world inhabited by human beings (“It smells of rotting eggs and you get sunburn! Ain’t earth great?”).

When the Little Mermaid’s turn comes, she rises up to the surface, watches a birthday celebration being held on a ship in honor of a handsome prince, and falls in love (By looking at his face of manliness) with him from a safe distance (Okay, so if you’re at a safe distance, how can you even tell what he looks like in the first place? And even if you can, talk about SHALLOW!). A violent storm hits (Out of nowhere. Apparently the dude in the crow’s nest was taking a nap or whatever), and the Little Mermaid saves the prince from drowning (Wait, he’s on a ship and he can’t even swim. Get a life jacket!). She delivers him unconscious to the shore near a temple (What temple? Wouldn’t she have to like, walk TO the temple? Bad architecture design to put a temple right at the waters edge, just sayin’). Here, she waits until a young girl from the temple and her companions find him. To her dismay, the prince never sees the Little Mermaid or even realizes that it was she who had originally saved his life (wasn’t like he was unconscious or anything).

The Little Mermaid becomes melancholy and asks her grandmother if humans can live forever and if they can breathe under water. The grandmother explains that humans have a much shorter lifespan than merfolks’ 300 years, but that when mermaids die, they turn to sea foam and cease to exist, while humans have an eternal soul that lives on in heaven (So who REALLY gets the raw end of the deal here?). The Little Mermaid, longing for the prince and an eternal soul (She wants a soul? Not creepy at all!), eventually visits the Sea Witch in a dangerous section of the ocean (And that would be where? Marina trench perhaps). The witch willingly (*Ominous music*) helps her by selling her a potion that gives her legs in exchange for her tongue (And they made this into a Disney movie. Totally kid friendly material there! “I’ll give you my tongue and you hand over a leg and we’re even”). The Sea Witch warns that once she becomes a human, she will never be able to return to the sea (Unless you go swimming or buy some scuba gear). Consuming the potion will make her feel as if a sword is being passed through her body (Okay, ow), yet when she recovers, she will have two human legs and will be able to dance like no human has ever danced before (What does DANCING have to do with anything? I should hope you can WALK). However, she will constantly feel as if she is walking on sharp knives and as though her toes are bleeding (And she agrees to this?). In addition, she will obtain a soul only if she wins the love of the prince and marries him, for then a part of his soul will flow into her (Oh…okay?). Otherwise, at dawn on the first day after he marries another woman, the Little Mermaid will die brokenhearted and disintegrate into sea foam upon the waves. (Welll this sounds like a wonderful deal that couldn’t possibly grow wrong! Where do I sign?)

The Little Mermaid agrees to this arrangement (Yeah, dump your family and life for a prince you met from “a safe distance” with only a slight chance of winning his love and you will most likely die alone and broken hearted. Sounds fair) and the Sea Witch cuts off her tongue. The Little Mermaid swims to the surface near the palace of the prince and drinks the potion. She is found by the prince, who is mesmerized by her beauty and grace (Alright, everyone in the story is officially just plain upright shallow. Great moral here), even though she is considered by everyone in the kingdom as dumb and mute (I can vouch for the dumb part. Still can’t believe she went through with it). Most of all, he likes to see her dance, and she dances for him despite suffering excruciating pain with every step (Lovely). Soon, the Little Mermaid becomes the prince’s favorite companion and accompanies him on many of his outings. When the prince’s parents order their son to marry the neighboring princess in an arranged marriage, the prince tells the Little Mermaid he will not because he does not love the princess. He goes on to say he can only love the young woman from the temple, who he believes rescued him (But you were unconscious! What?). It turns out that the princess from the neighboring kingdom is the temple girl, sent there only temporarily to be educated (On what, may I ask? Taking, er, temple classes? I don’t know). The prince loves her, and the royal wedding is announced at once.

The prince and princess celebrate on a wedding ship, and the Little Mermaid’s heart breaks. She thinks of all that she has sacrificed and of all the pain she has endured. She despairs, thinking of the death that awaits her, but before dawn, her sisters rise out of the water and bring her a dagger that the Sea Witch has given them in exchange for their long, beautiful hair. If the Little Mermaid slays the prince with the dagger and lets his blood drip on her feet (Again, totally kid friendly. Disney accidentally left out THAT part), she will become a mermaid once more, all her suffering will end, and she will live out her full life in the ocean with her family (Whom she dumped for a shallow prince whom she met from “A safe distance”).

However, the Little Mermaid cannot bring herself to kill the sleeping prince lying with his new bride (Whoa. Creeper alert!), and she throws the dagger and herself off the ship into the water just as dawn breaks. Her body dissolves into foam, but instead of ceasing to exist, she feels the warm sun and discovers that she has turned into a luminous and ethereal earthbound spirit, a daughter of the air. As the Little Mermaid ascends into the atmosphere, she is greeted by other daughters who tell her she has become like them because she strove with all her heart to obtain an immortal soul. Because of her selflessness, she will be given the chance to earn her own soul by doing good deeds to mankind for 300 years (Not long at all! By the way, how can she do good deeds if she’s dead?) and will one day rise up into the Kingdom of God (One day. But for now she will live out her days in pain and suffering. Yeah, she totally lived happily ever after).

The Sufferings of a Writer

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

1. Staying up til two thirty in the morning on a school night because you’re in the middle of a really exciting chapter.

2. Carrying a notebook and pencils/pens everywhere you go.

3. Getting a really good plot idea out of nowhere and having to drop everything to jot it down.

4. Eavesdropping on people’s conversations for dialogue ideas.

5. Getting a new computer and being thrilled at the prospect of all that free file space, and then having half of it filled up with Word documents within a month.

6. Having so many Word documents that you don’t even remember what some of them are..

7. Becoming stunned whenever someone asks you what your book is about (as if you could sum it up in a sentence, right?).

8. Being given an assignment to write a two-page short story and turning in a twenty-page one instead.

9. Envisioning a cute/funny scene in your head during a boring class and suddenly someone asks “What are you smiling about?” and you have to stammer something dumb.

10. When someone tells you your sad scene made them cry and being like “YES! VICTORY!”.

11. When you’re confused about something, putting two characters together and having them fight about it.

12. Being able to turn everything that happens to you into a scene for your story.

13. Getting inspiration not just from English class, but also from History, Biology, Foreign Language, Art and Math.

14. It annoys you when people use the wrong form of ‘you’re’ and ‘their’.

15. You correct people’s grammar in your head.

16. You know every little thing about a character… except their name.

17. It makes you slightly concerned when people look in your Google history that they will question your mental health.

18. You question your own mental health fairly often.

19. When someone walks in and you’re in the middle of writing you’re like:

GoawayI’mnotdoinganythingsuspiciouswhileIminusmyworddocumentveryquickly

20. You want to get (or already have) a sign on your door that says ‘For Your Safety, Do Not Disturb the Writer While She is Inspired.’

21. When someone suggests you edit out a part of your story that part instantly becomes your favorite part.

22. All your favorite songs either remind you of a scene or a character in your story (or perhaps inspired them).

23. Complimenting your looks, skills and personality are all right, but when someone compliments your writing without knowing it’s yours, your day is made.

24. You want desperately someone to critique your writing and at the same time you don’t.

25. You have that one character (maybe more than one) that you know better than your own family members, sometimes better than yourself, that one that you love so dearly and you can see them in your head and hear their voice like they’re actually there and they’re so real to you.

26. You feel guilty when you have to do something mean to a character you like.

27. You love all your characters, even the ones that readers aren’t supposed to like, even the ones that you know you’d hate if they existed, because you understand them.

28. Putting your character in a tense situation makes your heart speed up.

29. You have conversations with your characters in your head (and sometimes outside ).

30. You have a quirky thing you do that gets your creative juices flowing and inspires you, and if anyone else knew about it they’d think your insane.

31. You cry when you have to kill your favorite character.

32. You critique other people’s books while you’re reading them.

33. Everything inspires you some days, other days you can’t get a good idea for the life of you.

34. You get all excited to write before you do it, but when you actually sit down and open the Word document, you get about one sentence done in an hour.

35. You join rpg’s for ‘writing practice’ because partly you can make up characters that don’t have to be super complex, partly you don’t know what’s going to happen so it’s a challenge there, and partly they’re just fun.

36. You’re that person who writes paragraph-long texts with perfect grammar.

37. Your characters show up in your dreams from time to time.

38. You get inspiration from your dreams.

39. You have a Word document open at this moment.

40. You’ve smiled and said ‘That’s so true!’ to most of these.

100 Truths

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Because I was bored….

●1.Last beverage: Water.

●2. Last phone call: From my mother technically, but that was actually me calling my phone from her’s cause I lost it.

● 3. Last text message: Sounds Great! See ya then! (Kind of generic, sad to say.)

● 4. Last song you listened to: “If You’re the Coffee I’m the Cream” By Arcadian Wild.

● 5. Last time you cried: Over a documentary, don’t laugh, it was sad. It was about Garden Gnomes.


HAVE YOU EVER:

● 6. Dated someone twice: Uh… no.

● 7. Been cheated on: Heck, no.

● 8. Kissed someone & regretted it: What??? No! (I realize now how disingenuous that sounds on paper but for realsies, no.)

● 9. Lost someone special: Yes…

● 10. Been depressed: Been pretty bummed but not quite depressed.

● 11. Been drunk and threw up: Excuse me? I’ve been thrown up on before and have thrown up but alcohol was never ever in equation. Only germs, I swear.

● 12. LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: Blue

● 13. (second color) Green

● 14. (third color) Purple

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

● 15. Made a new friend: Yep.

● 17. Laughed until you cried: Oh, yes. Quite recently.

● 18. Met someone who changed you: Uhm… don’t think so. Ooooorr maybe I have and don’t know it yet? Hmmm… food for thought?

● 19. Found out who your true friends were: Yup. Happens every now and again.

● 20. Found out someone was talking about you: Knew it already.

● 21. Kissed anyone on your friends list: EXCUSSSSEE MEEEE????

● 22. Favorite Punctuation mark: ?


● 23. How many kids do you want: Two?

● 24. Do you have any pets: Oh yeah. Lots. But We don’t have time for that…

● 25. Do you want to change your name: Some days. Esther is so pretty and so is Sage… depends.

● 26. What did you do for your last birthday: I honestly can’t remember. I think I had some friends over and ate good food but that’s what nearly everyone does.

● 27. What time did you wake up? 7: 15

● 28. What were you doing at midnight last night. Sleeping like a dead person.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: My bestfriend coming back to visit from Missouri. Oh, and the Mr.Rogers Movie. And for me to get my life together. And for Avatar Netflix series to come out. And for me to graduate. And to go roller blading within the next few days.

I’m really impatient, okay?

● 30. Last time you saw your Mother: She’s like two yards away from me… hello, mumsy!

● 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Hard question… I wish I knew what career path I wanted to follow. #senioritis #panickingalittlebitontheinsideandmaybetheooutsidetoo

● 32. What are you listening to right now: The hum of our very old computer.

● 34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now: My little brother (no surprise there)

● 35. Most visited web page(s): WordPress, soundcloud, gmail, Webkinz (hey, its fun!)

● 36. What’s your real name: Mr.Octagonapus.

● 37. Nicknames: Brookiedacookie

● 38. Relationship Status: Single, last time I checked.

● 39. Zodiac sign: Capricorn

● 40. Male or female: Female

● 41. Primary School: Homeschoooool

● 42. Secondary School: Homeschooooooooool

● 43. High school: Homeschoooooooooooooooooooooooool

● 44. Hair color: Brownnnn??? Kind of boring, sad to say.

● 45. Long or short: longiiiiisshhhhhhkiiiindooofffinnnthemiddleee??

● 46. Height: Short. (Too lazy to find out specifically. I think its like 5’1.)

● 47. Music Genre: Some good ol folk and a little bit of pop.

● 48: What do you like about yourself: I’mmm alive? Intact? I dunno… I have all my teeth so thats a plus!

● 50. Tattoos: Uh, no. I’ll pass.

● 51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS:

● 52. First surgery: Hasn’t occurred. Yet.

● 54. First best friend: Rachel

● 55. First sport you joined: Gymnastics

● 56. First vacation: To the mountains in a cabin

RIGHT NOW:

● 59. Eating: Nuttin’

● 60. Drinking: Nuttin’ at all.

● 61. I’m about to: Type this down….

● 63. Waiting for: Drama! (The stage type)

YOUR FUTURE:

● 64. Want kids: Not particularly. I may later on in life though.

● 65. Get married: Sure.

● 66. Career: Yep.

WHICH IS BETTER:

● 67. Lips or eyes: Eyes

● 68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

● 69. Shorter or taller: Shorter

● 71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous

● 73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

HAVE YOU EVER:

● 76. Kissed a stranger: What?!?!? Are you insane?!?!

● 77. Drank hard liquor: See above answer.

● 78. Lost glasses/contacts: Nope. Don’t need ’em.

● 80. Broken someone’s heart: If I have, I don’t know of it.

● 82. Been arrested: Seriously, what kind of delinquent do you take me fore?

● 83. Turned someone down: Yerp.

● 84. Cried when someone died: Oh yes.

● 85. Fallen for a friend: Eh, sorta.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

● 86. Yourself: Some days.

● 87. Miracles: Yes.

● 88. Love at first sight: Not really.

● 89. Heaven: Yes.

● 90. Santa Claus: No. Sorry, Saint Nicholas.

● 91. Kiss on the first date: Maybe… (To be honest I think no, but there are special cases.)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

● 94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Hahahahahaahaha no.

● 95. Did you sing today: Yes. How can one not?

● 96. Ever cheated on somebody: See #94

● 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: If I had to stay permanently, I would go to about three years ago and relive a few things. If not, let’s go visit medieval Europe or Victorian London.

● 99. Are you afraid of falling in love: Depends on who with. SOME people…. *Screams and runs away*

● 100. Tired? Maybe a little.

Insults to keep up your sleeve

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Things to call people you dislike

(Because swear words are somewhat boring, not to mention crass.)

1.You moist sock. 

A solid insult that is a good go to. Note the usage of moist. Any insult with the word moist thrown in is automatically superior to any insult without. Like, just listen to word (or read it in your case, I’ll be nice and make an exception). 

M-O-I-S-T

Make certain you draw the “oi” sound out as long as humanly possible. That’s how you know you’re doing it right. 

2. You absolute doorknob

Vague and yet insulting. The “absolute” helps convey that the receiver isn’t just “a doorknob”. They are 100%, completely, without the shadow of a doubt, an absolute doorknob. Extra points for being assertive. 

3. You itchy pants tag. 

While the previous insult banks on being vague, this one is strangely specific and yet it manages to acutely convey your general dislike towards a person because no one, I repeat, NO ONE likes an itchy pants tag. 

4. You can of Spam. 

Because spam is spam. 

5. You oatmeal raisin cookie

A good insult to call someone who is a general disappointment because, as we all know, raisins IN cookies is the peak of disappointment. 

6. You wretched table corner that I always bang my hip on. 

An insult reserved for those inconveniently in the way all the time. Reserved for when Calling people a simple “stumbling block” does. Not. Cut. It. 

7. You expired coupon

A wonderful synonym of useless.

8. You unnecessary Disney sequel 

This one is for you nerds out there. And by nerds I mean me.

Senioritis Playlist

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Highschool has gone way to fast. It feels just like yesterday I was turning 13. Is that a sign of getting old? Maybe. Either way, as my graduation day grows ever nearer and my highschool days to a close, I can’t help but find comfort in these songs. I’ve made a short playlist so maybe they’ll help you too, especially if you’re going to be moving on from school soon.

  1. OneRepublic – Marching On
As a pessimist, I’m always in need of constant reminders that’ll I’ll make it through things. This songs happens of be one of them.

2. The Arcadian Wild – The Graduate

One of my favorite songs, this one encompasses exactly what it feel like to grow up.

3. Rob Drabkin – It’s a Beautiful Day

For someone with the name “Drabkin”, this guy sure did write an uplifting song…

4. Sleeping At Last – Life

5. Hercules – I Can go the Distance

Disney songs are always the bomb.

6. Avicii – Wake Me Up

7. Shawn Mendes – Something Big

8. OneReplublic – I Lived

9. Owl city – The Verge

10. Rachel Platten – Fight Song

Is the Glass half-full or empty?

~ Brooke F. ~ Leave a comment

Is the Glass half full? Is the Glass half empty?

But doesn’t it depend? If you filled up the glass to the halfway point, wouldn’t you be more in inclined to say it is half full? But what if you filled it up and then poured out half?  Now it seems half-empty.  I guess how a person sees their glass depends on the circumstances around it and their particular glass… so maybe it’s not quite as simple as sorting people into optimists and pessimists. It’s true that maybe some of us are better at seeing the silver lining and others. Maybe some of us are natural born cynics. And maybe the human psych is just a little bit more complicated than that…

But all that being said don’t forget to drink your water in the first place. And I’d recommended doing it through a crazy straw. Cause those things are awesome.