Things to call people you dislike
(Because swear words are somewhat boring, not to mention crass.)
1.You moist sock.
A solid insult that is a good go to. Note the usage of moist. Any insult with the word moist thrown in is automatically superior to any insult without. Like, just listen to word (or read it in your case, I’ll be nice and make an exception).
M-O-I-S-T
Make certain you draw the “oi” sound out as long as humanly possible. That’s how you know you’re doing it right.
2. You absolute doorknob
Vague and yet insulting. The “absolute” helps convey that the receiver isn’t just “a doorknob”. They are 100%, completely, without the shadow of a doubt, an absolute doorknob. Extra points for being assertive.
3. You itchy pants tag.
While the previous insult banks on being vague, this one is strangely specific and yet it manages to acutely convey your general dislike towards a person because no one, I repeat, NO ONE likes an itchy pants tag.
4. You can of Spam.
Because spam is spam.
5. You oatmeal raisin cookie
A good insult to call someone who is a general disappointment because, as we all know, raisins IN cookies is the peak of disappointment.
6. You wretched table corner that I always bang my hip on.
An insult reserved for those inconveniently in the way all the time. Reserved for when Calling people a simple “stumbling block” does. Not. Cut. It.
7. You expired coupon
A wonderful synonym of useless.
8. You unnecessary Disney sequel
This one is for you nerds out there. And by nerds I mean me.
By the Brooke 